CHAPTER SIX
MATTI
After Vale leaves, sleep is out of the question.
I called both kids when I got here, but they were busy with their cousins, and getting calls from me while I’m out of town isn’t exactly a novelty, so they were eager to ditch me and get back to what they were doing.
Maybe now’s my chance to have a real conversation with one if not both of them. I check the clock. With the time difference, I ought to have better luck this go around. It’s nearly midnight there. Even on their vacation schedule, things should be winding down a bit for them.
Plopping down on the sofa, I peel my phone from my pocket and try Isobel first, banking on her inner ‘daddy’s girl’ to garner me some of her undivided attention.
“What’s up, Dad?” The second she answers, I know she’s still wholly distracted by something else.
“Just thought I’d try to get in a real conversation with you before the day is over,” I tease. “Everybody still hanging out?”
“Yep. It’s Trivial Pursuit night. You know what that means.”
I do. Means they’re going to consume enough sugar to stay up playing until sunrise. I’m about to comment on it when I hear her turn away from the phone to talk to Rayna, her cousin. A second later, she’s back on the line. “Where are you at anyway?”
I laugh. “I told you that earlier when I called. I’m in Hawaii.”
“Same as Mom?” This at least draws more interest from her.
“Yeah. Weird, right?”
“Considering you never spend time together when you’re both home, in the same city, yeah. It’s weird.” Things get muffled again, like she’s moving around the phone, then I hear her call out, “Nate, did you know Dad’s in Hawaii, too?”
I wait for a second, giving him time to answer. “Did he know?”
“He knew.”
Good to know at least one of my kids still retains some of the information I share with them. “Alright, well it sounds like you guys are pretty busy. I’m going to be up for a while, how about you call me when you’re going to bed.”
“I can do that.” She already sounds distracted again.
“Good. And tell your brother to do the same.”
“I will. I gotta go.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.” The last of her statement gets clipped, she’s in such a hurry to end the call.
I sigh.
I both love and hate this phase. It’s so fucking exciting to watch them both become these new versions of themselves, like they’re previews of the adults they’ll be one day.
But it sucks how much I miss them while they’re busy spreading their wings, growing more independent with each passing second, and naturally, preferring their peers over my company.
My eyes catch on the clock again.
It’s too late to do much of anything. The lobby is closed, and so are the restaurant and gift shop. I saw a pool while I was out running, but I’m guessing that’s not twenty-four hours either.
And then there’s the barn. Even if that shit’s not locked up, there’s no way in hell I’m wandering in there on my own. After dark. Or ever. Let’s be honest.
I drag myself upright and stretch my arm as far as it will go until my fingertips grasp onto the remote lying on the coffee table, then I fumble with it a few times, trying to slide it closer to me where I can get a better grip on it.
It’s ironic how much harder we make things in trying to make them easier. Simply lifting my ass from the sofa and bending forward would have put that remote right in my reach.
No matter now.
And so, I plop back into the cushions, letting my shoulders sink in for more sloth-ing.
“Let’s see what’s on TV these days,” I mumble to myself, turning it on and exploring my options.
Every streaming service in the world appears to be linked to this thing, and it takes me a good hour to click on them all and scroll through their libraries before I remember I hate watching TV and turn the whole thing off again.
I miss my bass.
I don’t know why I didn’t bring it. Except maybe I thought I needed to follow Knox’s lead, leave one love behind and chase after the other.
And that might have worked out alright if I had just told Nessa how I felt the moment I saw her. Maybe then we’d be together right now. And I sure as shit wouldn’t be wishing I was holding my bass if I was holding her.
“Fuck this.” I lunge forward, thrusting up on my feet with so much force, the momentum nearly throws me forward when all I mean to do is stand upright.
Maybe my body is tired, even if my mind is nowhere near ready to rest.
No, my head needs space. Fresh air for clarity.
I start for the door. I left my hoody draped over one of the barstools along the breakfast bar earlier and I grab it on the way out.
The second I step outside I rethink my instincts to reach for a cover-up.
I’m in fucking Hawaii. Even this time of night, it’s probably seventy-five degrees out.
Which means the gym shorts and T-shirt I put on after my shower and paired with flip- flops to wear around the cabin, are the perfect attire for a bit of wandering about.
Though, I’ll pass on venturing down one of the ranch’s many trails this time of night in nothing more than flip-flops on my feet.
Instead, I go about exploring the area to the left of the main lodge. I never made it any farther than their lobby given the trail brought me back around to my side of the property and the gift shop was also to the right of me.
It’s quiet out. Peaceful. And even passing the barn this time of night and hearing the quiet snorting and shuffling of hooves coming from inside, doesn’t seem remotely off-putting.
Part of me is even tempted to see if I can get inside.
It’s a small part of me. Easily squashed into silence. So, I keep walking. Past the pool, which definitely is not twenty-four hours. If it weren’t for the moon being reflected in the water, I might never have known it was even there.
Finally, I reach the main lodge, which seems somehow smaller now against the night sky. I suppose everything is smaller when compared to that, and I pause for a moment in front of the building, taking in the contrast between manmade structure and the great mystery beyond.
Gradually, I begin walking again, suddenly eager to move away from buildings altogether, just to bring more of that sky into view.
When I turn the corner of the lodge and finally discover what’s beyond it, it’s not at all what I was expecting. But everything I could have wished for.
“Nessa?”
She turns her head from her perch on the fence.
Pastures, that’s what lies beyond the main lodge.
And her.
“I’m starting to think you might be following me,” she teases softly.
“I’m starting to think you might have some sort of a summoning spell on me,” I counter, chuckling as I make my way over to the fence. I don’t climb it when I reach it. Just stay safely on this side of it, arms crossed and resting on the top board.
“Be some pretty powerful magic if that’s what dragged your ass all the way to Hawaii, huh?” she laughs. “But since spells aren’t my forte, I guess we’ll have to stick to weird coincidences.”
“You don’t believe in those,” I remind her.
She turns her gaze back out toward the horses. “I’m not sure the things I believe in apply themselves here.”
Fate. That’s what she believes in. And I’m tempted to remind her.
Except it wasn’t fate that brought me to Hawaii.
It was my choice. So, while fate is to blame for many a beautiful moment between us, like this one right now, I can’t claim it was entirely responsible for bringing us together here in Hawaii.
“Fine, weird coincidence it is.” I nudge her gently with my elbow. “So tell me, what brings you out here this time of night?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” A silky warm breeze moves through, and she lifts her face, closing her eyes and leaning into it with a smile.
“Wanna talk about it?” Nessa’s never had trouble falling asleep.
Or waking up, all cylinders running. It’s both fascinating and annoying, but she dozes off the second her head hits the pillow and wakes fully the moment she swings her feet out of bed and onto the floor.
So, if she can’t sleep, something is up.
“Not yet.” She sighs, closing her eyes again as another balmy gust of night air rolls over her skin. Only after it passes does she return her attention to me. “Tell me why you’re out here first.”
“Oh, you’ll love this. It’s another weird coincidence.”
She smirks. “You couldn’t sleep.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I grab ahold of the board with both hands and stretch out my arms, leaning back, feet anchored into the dirt, swaying slightly back and forth with nervous energy.
I don’t think I’ve felt like this since I was fourteen.
“Tried calling the kids but their cousins are apparently way more interesting than I am.” I roll my eyes and make a face.
“My bruised ego was very tempted to remind them that people usually pay for the pleasure of being entertained by me.”
Nessa laughs. “But you didn’t.”
I laugh too. “No, I didn’t.”
“If it helps, I barely got three minutes out of each of them myself.”
“You know, that does help a little.”
She pretends to gasp as if suddenly offended. “Rude.”
“Our children?” I deflect. “Yes, very.”
“Someone should do something about that.”
“I agree.” I nod, cracking up. “I’ll call my sister. We’re letting her have the pleasure of their company all week. It’s the least she can do.”
“Oh, I like this idea. Let her do the dirty work.”
Quiet laughter settles between us for a moment, adding beautiful contentment to the already present peace of this night.
“I’ve missed this,” Nessa whispers when we’ve both been quiet for a while.
“Me too.”
NESSA
It’s a bittersweet thing being with someone who knows your thoughts so intimately, someone you keep closer to your heart than any other, but who now exists at a distance from you, moving through life as if in some sort of parallel dimension.
He’s here with me, close enough to touch... and still entirely out of reach.
We did this to ourselves. I did this to us.
“Think we’ll ever have what we had again?”