CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MATTI
She’s home. In my arms. But it’s my heart that’s holding her.
“Swear we’re not making a mistake,” she whispers.
“I’m going to bite you if you keep saying shit like that,” I murmur, right before I press my mouth to hers.
There’s no mistake in the way she sinks into me, her lips crushing mine until our tongues find themselves caught in a familiar dance.
The rest of the world slips away, allowing us to get lost in each other, the very place we finally found ourselves again.
Then a horse whinnies inches from my head. The world is back.
“Holy shit,” I wheeze, nearly knocking us both to the ground in my instinct to get the fuck away from that noise.
Nessa rubs her lip with her finger, and I wonder if maybe I did end up biting her. I might have. And I’m not even sure I could blame the horse for it. “I feel like she just told us to get a room,” she mumbles, cheeks flushed, eyes finally glossy with something other than tears.
“No getting a room,” Vale calls out from somewhere. Good God, did no one have the sense to turn their eyes and ears away from what was happening between us?
“I don’t need a room,” I call back, arms still wrapped around Ness. “I got stuck with having a freaking party-sized cabin. And if I finally found a reason to use it, I will.”
Nessa plants her face in my chest, stifling a laugh.
“We’re going for a ride first,” Vale comes back. “You two can canoodle after.”
Ness looks up to meet my gaze. “Want to?”
“Canoodle?”
She smacks my arm playfully. “Go for a ride.”
I don’t even have to think about it. “Yeah. I really do.” I drop my forehead to hers. “But then – “
“Canoodling?” She smirks. “Absolutely.”
We don’t really wait on the canoodling. In fact, we get so distracted making out, Frank comes back around to finish getting Rosie ready for Ness.
I’m guessing.
I didn’t see him do it.
But the distinct scent of cinnamon gum hangs in the air, and I caught a whiff of that earlier when he was helping me with Jasper.
In any event, we’ve all made it out of the barn, Ness with Rosie, me beside Jasper, and we’re all ears as Frank goes about giving us our next lesson. How to mount a horse.
Nearly everyone manages to get up in their saddle on their first try. Even me, which is astounding, to no one more than myself.
It’s Damon, Tori’s husband who has to take three goes at it before he can swing his leg all the way over.
And it’s not for lack of physical ability. Tori met the man when she started taking ballroom dancing lessons a few years back. Because he was her instructor. I’ve seen the way that dude can move.
Which can only mean one thing.
“I’m not the only one here with a fear of horses,” I hiss so only Nessa can hear me.
“Apparently not.” She grins back at me. “What a faker, trying to hide it.”
I shrug. Damon’s the newest addition to the family. So, new, I wasn’t at the wedding. He’s probably still scared of most of its members. Possibly more scared than he was of that horse he had to climb.
Speaking of fears and horses, I’m finding Jasper shockingly less frightening from this angle. Horseback riding, as it turns out, not something I’m afraid of.
Not even when we start moving.
Actually, the rocking back and forth that comes with the sway of his gait is quite nice. Enjoyable even.
“We should get horses,” I blurt out after we’ve been following a trail in the woods at a nice relaxing pace for at least half an hour.
“What?” Nessa’s surprise is only part of what lights up her face. “Yes!”
God, I love how she didn’t even have to think about it.
She’s always been one to leap. Always.
Which makes the nagging at the back of my mind echo a little louder. She didn’t leap with me this time. When I told her why I was here, she needed convincing. Needed me to sway her to let down her guard and give us another shot.
Maybe it’s not fair to compare the two. I’m not a new adventure. I’m one she’s already been on. One that left her wounded. It’s not the same. And it’s not surprising she’d be hesitant to leap heart first again.
However, looking at it from that perspective doesn’t ease my fears any either. Because then maybe this is all too easy.
No matter which way I look at it, something is off.
But since I can’t put my finger on where the issue is, I shake the worries from my mind and anchor into the present. It’s not hard.
Not when she’s here.
When she’s laughing, talking a mile a minute because she’s excited and every thought comes bursting out of her.
Before long, her siblings overhear our chatter of horses and turning our kids into ranch hands, and it becomes a whole family discussion. Banter flies, arguments get made and, in the end, we’re all cracking up about one thing or another again.
“I can’t believe you guys thought you could just replace me,” I shake my head at Roni. We’re rounding the corner back to the barn and conversation has lulled accordingly.
“I can’t believe we came so close to having two doctors in the family and you showed up and screwed it up.” She makes a face at me. “Seriously though. I’ll get over it if Nessa keeps smiling like that.” She grins, glancing over her shoulder at her little sister.
“Personally,” Clark adds from the other side of her, “I’ve always thought one doctor and one rock star per family was the perfect balance.”
“Yeah, two doctors would have been way over the top,” I agree.
“Whatever,” Roni chides. “You would have been unhappy with any dude of any profession taking your place at Nessa’s side.”
I can’t exactly argue with that. “Yes, yes I would have.” Though I would have accepted it. Supported it even if he’d have made her happy.
“I’m just glad all the matchmaking is over,” Clark says as we slow to a stop in front of the barn. “Now you four can go back to taking your chick vacations without dragging us along.”
Roni glares at him. “I’m sorry, are you saying you’re not enjoying this extra time with me? And my family?”
I don’t wait to hear how this plays out for Clark. Instead, I take this opportunity to dismount my horse and take him inside.
What I missed in getting Jasper saddled up, I learn in taking all the gear off of him again.
By the time I’m taking his saddle and bridle back to the tack room, I can’t stop chuckling at myself and the irrational fear I carried around with me all these years.
It seems ridiculous now. But I suppose it’s that way with most things once we face them.
We let our fears make mountains out of molehills all the time.
“So, what’s next on your agenda?” Ness asks, meeting me back out in the barn aisle, apparently having completed her chores as well.
“How does food sound?”
She pats her belly. “I could eat.”
She could always eat. It’s one of the things we’ve always had in common. An insatiable hunger. For life. Food. And each other.
“Kenley and Knox were going to skip the rest of the horse stuff after the orientation this morning and explore the area. Hit some local markets and such. Wanna see what they found?”
She smiles. “Have lunch with the crew?”
“Unless you want to hang with your family?” I offer.
“Or I could see about throwing some outing together for just the two of us?” It’s strange in a way, us being together here now.
On the one hand, it’s the most natural way of being and doesn’t feel like it should warrant any significant actions or gestures.
On the other, this may well mark one of the most monumental moments of our lives, the significance of which should be celebrated, acknowledged in a way that will mark the occasion for us for the rest of our lives.
Because it literally has changed the rest of our lives.
“We’ve been with my family plenty,” she says, taking my hand. “Let’s go spend some time with yours.”
“Alright, let’s.” I entwine my fingers with hers. Maybe this is all the celebration we need. The small things. The little moments that make up the life we’ve been missing. The significance of holding her hand may never be lost on me again.
NESSA
It feels like old times when I step into the cabin Matti rented here.
Cass and Jason can be heard mid-tiff somewhere in the house while Knox is busy strumming on his guitar, mumbling verses to himself in the living room.
The only thing different is Kenley who’s at the center of it all, zipping about in the kitchen, clearly whipping up something amazing judging by the delicious scent wafting through the place and hitting my nose the second we enter.
“Hold up,” Knox says when he sees the both of us walking in, hand in hand. “Did it happen? Did Matti make his grand gesture and tell you he still loves you?”
“No,” I deadpan.
“Way to make things awkward, man.” Matti’s tone and expression match mine perfectly.
For a second, Knox just stares at us.
“They’re obviously fucking with you,” Kenley says from the kitchen, waving around a large knife like it’s a feather, not a blade capable of slicing someone’s hand clean off. I like her already.
“We obviously are,” I confirm, breaking into a grin.
“After the way this whole mission has gone, I really wasn’t sure,” Knox says, chuckling. He stands, setting down his guitar before reaching out to pull me in for a hug. “It’s about damn time you came home,” he says as he’s squeezing me tight. “Things weren’t right without you.”
“I missed you too, Knox.” I hold him tight a moment longer.
Vale is my brother by blood, but Knox has been my brother by choice.
I let him go along with Matti, because they were best friends and having one without the other felt impossible, but I can’t deny life felt that much emptier, losing them both.
When we step out of our hug, I keep right on moving to the kitchen. “What are you making, and will you be sharing, because it smells to die for.”