Chapter 31
ALEX
Sitting in the stands watching a football match between Kai and Alfie’s teams was the last place I thought I’d end up on a Sunday morning.
But here I was.
To my surprise, Mum actually woke up early and got out of bed, which I didn’t think would happen for days after the state she was in last night.
But she did. She put on her makeup, picked an outfit that made her feel good, and headed straight out to the pub.
I tried to tell her that it probably wasn’t the best place for her to be, but she was adamant.
Adamant, she was fine. Adamant, she wasn’t going to let some guy from Spain drag her down.
She rambled about being too good for him, about refusing to let a man ruin her life.
And honestly, it was refreshing in a way.
To see a version of her that didn’t care what people thought.
Didn’t care about impressing guys who weren’t worth a second of her time, let alone her whole heart.
But I could see through it.
This was her morning clarity - the brief window where she felt steady, where she believed she could change. And maybe she could. People did, sometimes. It’s just that she never really had.
I’d be surprised if the moment her lips touched a drink, she didn’t end up right back where she was last night - curled on the sofa, sick and miserable.
But you couldn’t tell her anything. Not when she was in one of her moods. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this time would be different. But history didn’t exactly back that theory.
Still, I was relieved Connor picked this weekend to disappear and do whatever he was doing. It meant I didn’t have to lie about going to Alfie’s game or bail on it altogether. I could just… go.
Sit in the stands.
Blend in.
Pretend I was just another person watching a match.
The breeze swept through my hair, tugging my curls for a moment, and when I glanced toward the pitch, Alfie caught my eye and blew me a kiss.
My cheeks heated instantly. I’d been confused about us ever since the double date - confused about what I felt, confused about what he felt, confused about everything.
And then there was Kai.
Talking to him yesterday had felt… easy. Too easy. Like something inside me loosened for the first time in years. But Kai wasn’t gay. He wasn’t even close. He was just a friend - a confusing, kind, unexpectedly gentle friend - but still just a friend.
So seeing Alfie blow me a kiss, like it was nothing, like he wasn’t embarrassed to acknowledge me in public… it felt good. It felt simple. He wanted me here, and he wasn’t hiding it.
I waved back awkwardly, and he grinned, taking a show-off shot at goal.
I knew I should’ve been watching him - he was the whole reason I was here - but my eyes kept drifting to Kai.
I couldn’t help it. His tall, lean frame in that blue kit.
The way he moved - sharp, controlled, like every step was calculated.
He didn’t just play football; he thought it.
The ball wasn’t something he chased - it was something he commanded.
Not that I knew anything about football. But even I could tell the other team couldn’t keep up with him.
Belrose played like a real team - seamless passes, instinctive movement, like they shared one brain. And somehow, every time one of them got the ball, they found a way to get it to Kai. Because he was the one who finished the plays. The one who made things happen.
His feet were too quick - too clever - and he’d already gotten the ball past Alfie three times. Each time, Alfie’s face darkened, almost matching his kit.
Alfie was good. But Kai was… something else.
And I hated how much I noticed.
I wasn’t sure what to do when Kai scored the first goal of the game. They’d only been playing fifteen minutes. Callum had slipped the ball right through Alfie’s legs to Kai, who tapped it into the net like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Alfie didn’t even try to hide his anger. He shoved Callum and started shouting about the goal being ‘offside’ - whatever that meant - but the referee shut it down immediately and gave the point to Belrose.
Kai stepped in, holding Callum back, saying something low that made Callum’s shoulders drop. He always seemed to have that effect - steadying people, grounding them, even when he was buzzing with adrenaline himself.
And I couldn’t help it - I was happy for him. When he scored, this stupid, uncontrollable smile spread across my face before I even realised it.
But Alfie realised it, and I was met with a menacing glare.
I snapped myself out of it, forcing my expression back to neutral, but the damage was done. I shouldn’t have been looking at Kai. I shouldn’t have been smiling like that. Alfie was the reason I was here. Alfie was the one who’d invited me. Alfie was the one who’d blown me a kiss.
But I couldn’t help it.
I liked seeing Kai happy. Football was his life… and he was good at it.
Really good.
And no matter how hard I tried to look away, my eyes kept finding him again.
The sky had darkened, the clouds barely holding themselves together by the time the whistle blew for half-time. Belrose were up 2–0, and Alfie looked like he was ready to explode. Then the rain came - sudden, heavy, like the whole sky had decided to empty itself onto the pitch.
Within seconds the players were drenched, their kits clinging to them, the whole team looking like they’d been dropped into a storm. I tried not to stare. I really did. But my eyes kept drifting to Kai.
Something about the rain made him look… different.
Sharper. More focused. His shirt clung to him, outlining the strength he carried without ever showing off about it.
His hair, usually messy and full of volume, was now flattened and dripping into his eyes.
Every time he swept it back with one hand, something in my chest tightened.
I didn’t know why it hit me like that. I didn’t know why it felt hard to breathe for a second or why I couldn’t look away.
But I couldn’t.
Not even when I told myself I should.
Alfie was too busy shouting at his team to notice where my eyes kept drifting.
They were regrouping, probably trying to figure out some new tactic to claw their way back into the game.
But honestly, I wasn’t convinced there was anything they could do to stop Kai.
He was like a dog with a bone - relentless, focused, impossible to shake.
The second half felt like a completely different match. Westley came out desperate, playing rougher, pushing harder. If they couldn’t score, they seemed determined to at least knock Belrose off their feet.
Five minutes in, someone from their side got sent off for a reckless tackle on Kyle Anderson. For a moment I thought he wasn’t going to get up, but he did - slowly, stiffly - and the game carried on.
The rain only got heavier, soaking through my hoodie until it clung to my skin.
I couldn’t stop shivering. The pitch had turned into a mud bath, and both teams were slipping all over the place.
The wind picked up, cutting through the stands, and I found myself counting down the minutes until it was over.
Fifteen minutes into the half, Callum broke through Westley’s defence, sprinting toward the goal like he was going to run the ball straight in. But then Alfie came sliding in from the side, taking Callum’s legs out from under him.
A slide tackle - I’d heard the term before - but whatever it was, it looked like it hurt.
The referee blew the whistle, but Kai didn’t wait for him. He was already shoving Alfie, the two of them exchanging heated words. Callum got to his feet, saw Alfie, and charged. He threw a punch - a hard one - and Alfie swung back.
Suddenly they were both on the ground, rolling in the mud, grabbing at each other, the whole thing spiralling fast.
It wasn’t until Kai grabbed the back of Alfie’s shirt and hauled him off Callum that the fight finally broke apart. Even from the stands, soaked and freezing, my stomach twisted. I never knew football could get that heated.
The referee ended up calling the game, saying the weather conditions were too dangerous to keep playing. Neither team looked happy about it, but I was relieved. I was soaked through, shivering, and dying for a cigarette.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like the rain. It was actually one of my favourite things. But paired with the wrong attire, even I couldn’t stand it.
When the players headed off toward the changing rooms, I made my way over too, standing under the tiny bit of shelter the roof offered. Rain still blew sideways, cold enough to sting, but I just shoved my hands into my pockets and waited for Alfie.
Hopefully, he wasn’t too low about the loss.