Chapter 35
ALEX
Somehow I blinked and ended up in Kai Fields’ car on the way to his for a Sunday roast with his mum. I didn’t even know how this happened. It was the kind of scenario I couldn’t have predicted in a million years.
“Do you want to ring your mum and tell her you’re coming to mine for tea?” he asked as he pulled into the Tesco car park, one hand casually draped over the wheel.
I almost laughed - actually laughed - at the absurdity of that sentence. My mum wouldn’t care where I was. She was probably passed out at the pub or in some stranger’s bed.
Dinner at home wasn’t a thing. Dinner made by her definitely wasn’t.
Kai was right: I had felt pressured to say yes when his mum was on the phone. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised I wanted to go. Connor wasn’t home. He’d given me money for shopping, but I hadn’t gone yet. And I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a proper roast dinner.
“Um… no, she’s out anyway,” I said, my voice shrinking a little as I started playing with my fingers in my lap again. My nails scraped lightly against each other - a habit I couldn’t seem to break when I was nervous.
Kai nodded, accepting it without pushing, and for some reason, that made my pulse quicken in a way I didn’t understand.
As Kai parked, something in the corner of my vision made my breath catch.
Spike.
He was leaning in the alley beside the shop, hood up, surrounded by a few of Connor’s ‘friends.’ My stomach dropped so fast it felt like the floor had vanished beneath me.
Shit.
My blood pressure spiked instantly. It wasn’t like I was doing anything wrong - Spike wouldn’t even realise he’d be getting me into trouble - but I couldn’t risk him telling my brother anything.
Connor thought I was at home looking after Mum.
If Spike saw me here, with Kai Fields of all people…
he’d definitely say something. Something harmless, probably.
But he’d talk. And Connor would twist it into something else entirely.
I sank lower in the seat, shoulders curling in, trying to make myself small. My chest tightened, breath coming quicker than I wanted it to.
“What’s wrong?” Kai asked, turning toward me, concern pulling at his features.
“Would you mind going in without me?” I said, voice thin, eyes wide. I hated how obvious it sounded, how shaky my breathing had become.
Kai frowned, confused for a second - then followed to where my gaze had been. His eyes landed on Spike and the group, and understanding flickered across his face like a light switching on.
“Okay,” he said quietly. No judgement. No questions. Just… okay. “I’ll leave the car on for you.” He reached forward and adjusted the heating slightly, like he was trying to make the space safer for me.
Suddenly, I could breathe again.
“I’ll be quick,” he added, giving me a small nod before hopping out of the car and jogging toward the entrance.
I stayed low, pulling my hood up and pretending to scroll through my phone while the music hummed softly through the speakers. Spike didn’t hang around long - he and the guys drifted off a few minutes after Kai went inside - but I was still grateful I hadn’t gone in.
The last thing I needed was another reason for Connor to lose it with me.
Kai chucked the shopping onto the back seat, then slid into the driver’s side with a small smile, rain still clinging to his hair.
“You okay?” he asked, pulling his seat belt across his chest.
I nodded quickly. “Did you get everything you needed?” My voice came out steadier than I felt.
“Yep.” He shifted into reverse, one hand resting lightly on the back of my headrest. “I remembered you said you liked cake, but don’t worry, I didn’t get Victoria sponge.”
“You remembered?” I asked, eyebrows lifting before I could stop them.
“Well, yeah.” He chuckled, eyes flicking to me for a second. “Can’t have you having an allergic reaction at the table, can I?” He eased the car out of the space, careful and unhurried.
“So what flavour did you get?” I asked, trying not to sound too curious.
“Chocolate.” He smirked, glancing at me again, like he already knew I’d approve.
“Yum.” I smiled, warmth blooming in my chest despite everything - the rain, Spike, the panic still fading from my system.
Kai’s smile widened at my reaction before he turned his attention back to the road, tapping the steering wheel lightly in time with the music.
“So who were those guys outside the shop?” he asked, voice light but careful, like he was testing the ground before stepping on it.
“Oh… erm, just some of my brother’s friends,” I said, my fingers immediately finding each other in my lap, twisting and untwisting.
“You don’t get on with them?” he asked casually - too casually. He was trying to hide the concern, but it leaked through anyway.
I shook my head. “Not really.” My throat felt tight.
“What about your brother, do you get on with him?” He questioned, flicking on the indicator and turning right.
No . “Sometimes.” I forced a smile, hoping he wouldn’t look too closely.
“I always wanted a brother. It sucks being an only child,” Kai said, drumming his fingers on the wheel again, eyes glancing between the road and me.
Be careful what you wish for.
“Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” I said, sucking in a slow breath.
My ribs ached just thinking about Connor.
Kai’s gaze narrowed in on mine, concern sharpening, so I rushed to cover it.
“We just don’t really like the same things,” I added, trying to sound casual, like it wasn’t a big deal.
“What, he doesn’t like bird-watching?” Kai smirked, and it caught me completely off guard.
A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. “No,” I said, smiling despite myself, “he doesn’t like bird-watching.”
Kai looked at me with warm, kind eyes, the kind that made it hard to look away.
“Maybe in a strip club,” I joked, shrugging, and Kai chuckled. “But that’s not the only thing I like,” I added quickly, suddenly desperate not to seem boring or pathetic.
“Oh, really? What else do you like?” he asked, sounding genuinely intrigued, leaning back slightly as if settling in to listen.
“Um…” I stared out the window for a moment, trying to think.
My breath fogged faintly against the glass as the houses blurred past. Most of my life had been spent in survival mode - running errands for Connor, making sure Mum didn’t choke in her sleep, keeping the house from falling apart.
Liking things wasn’t something I’d had much time for.
There was one thing, though. One thing that made everything else fade for a while.
“I play Xbox,” I said simply, almost embarrassed by how small it sounded. My knee bounced.
But Kai smiled, his eyes flicking toward me. “ You play Xbox?” he said, amusement tugging at his mouth as he shifted his grip on the wheel.
“Why do you seem surprised?” I asked, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow, my knee nudging the door as he turned.
“I don’t know, I just didn’t see you as the gamer type.” He turned a corner smoothly, his shoulder brushing the seat as he leaned into it, eyes flicking toward me like he was still reassessing.
“And I never pegged you for a theatre kid,” I bantered, a small smirk on my lips.
“Hey, I told you that in confidence,” he defended, though he was smiling, his fingers drumming lightly on the wheel. “What do you play?”
“Not FIFA, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said with a laugh, shaking my head as I tucked a damp strand of hair behind my ear.
“You think because I’m a footballer I play FIFA?” He scoffed playfully, giving me a sideways look.
“Do you?” I asked, leaning back into the seat.
“Well, I do, yeah.” He laughed, lifting one hand in a half-shrug before returning it to the wheel. “But I also play Modern Warfare, Call of Duty-”
“You play COD?” I said, my eyes widening as I sat up straighter, the excitement slipping out before I could stop it.
Kai grinned at my reaction, tapping the steering wheel like he’d just scored a point. “Yeah. Why? You play it too?” he said, glancing at me with a spark of interest.
I nodded. “When I get the time.” I shrugged lightly, eyes flicking back to the road ahead.
“You play online?” he asked, raising a brow as he shifted his grip on the wheel. I nodded again. “What’s your username?”
“Why, do you wanna play with me?” I said, surprised, turning toward him a little.
“Well, yeah.” He nodded confidently, a grin tugging at his mouth. “Though I have to warn you, I am very good.” He changed gears smoothly, smirking at me.
“So am I.” I shrugged, trying to sound casual even though a small spark of pride warmed my chest. And I was good - I’d spent enough hours on it. “My name’s ALEXT15. All caps.” I rubbed my thumb over my knuckles, suddenly self-conscious.
“What’s the fifteen for?” he asked, glancing at me as he slowed for a roundabout.
“My birthday. It’s December the fifteenth,” I said, tucking my hands back into my lap.
He nodded, like he was mentally filing that away somewhere. “What’s your username?”
He shook his head immediately, lips pressing together. “You’re gonna judge me.” He winced dramatically.
“I won’t,” I said, leaning a little closer without meaning to, curiosity pulling me forward as my shoulder brushed the seat.
“You will.” He narrowed his eyes playfully, lips twitching.
“Come on, it can’t be that bad,” I said, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt, my hands hovering in anticipation.
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but keep in mind I made it when I was like nine.” He pointed a warning finger at me, his face already flushing as I laughed, waiting.
“It’s ‘Kballer99.’” He blushed hard, staring straight ahead like the road was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
“Oh my god,” I said, playfully covering my mouth as a laugh burst out of me.
“You said you wouldn’t judge,” he pointed out, though he was laughing too, his shoulders shaking as he tried to keep the car steady.