Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Romy
Tears slip down my cheeks the minute I break apart from Zander.
Seeing him in the flesh, moments after taking the test that will change my life, has somehow shattered all the anger I’ve been clinging to. The weight of the secret growing inside me has crumpled all the walls I built.
My hand falls to my flat stomach, finally able to settle on this new reality with no witnesses.
We’re going to have a child, and I have no idea how to tell him or what his reaction will be when I do.
The man didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face that he was done with me.
He let his lackies do it. Surely, he won’t be pleased to find out that I’m having his baby.
Finally reaching my house, I pray Poppy and Scarlett are still with the tour group.
I’m sure everyone has a million questions about how the country singer I’ve been the biggest fan of—hell, I could have been the president of his fan club—didn’t garner the reaction they thought it would from me.
Scarlett looked so upset that I didn’t jump him.
Had I been the earlier version of myself, I would have screamed, run to him, thrown my arms around him like a crazy fan.
Hell, maybe I even would have cried happy tears.
Not now that I know the real Zander Shaw.
I walk into the house where I live with my cousins Poppy and Scarlett.
Lottie moved in with Brooks after they built a house on her piece of land on the property.
Bennett and Delaney are in the process of building theirs next to Lottie’s.
I always wondered how long my lot would stay vacant, and it seems a hell of a lot longer than I’d hoped.
But if my brother, Bennett, could raise my niece, Wren, in a house with two other men, I can raise this baby in a house with my cousins.
I sit on the couch, wipe the tears from my face, and try to process the fork in the road my lifepath just took in the last hour.
That lasts for about a second because I hear Brooks and Lottie outside, arguing about the back deck being built at their place. We all know Brooks will give in, and Lottie will get her way. It’s just foreplay for them.
I slide to the edge of the couch to escape to my room, but I don’t move fast enough because the screen door opens. Lottie stops when she sees me. Immediately, she turns around to Brooks, puts her hand on his chest, and whispers something to him.
He nods, kisses her briefly, and circles back around.
“You don’t have—”
“You’re my sister. Now what’s going on?” She sits on the couch next to me. “You’ve been crying.”
As if her words are an explosion against the dam, my tears break free again, falling so fast they topple over one another in a race down my cheeks. I hiccup and shudder for breath, snot running down my nose.
She slides the box of Kleenex off the table and gives me a few of them. “Talk to me, what is it?”
Guilt is like a stone lodged in my throat. How do I say it to the sister who can’t carry her own children, who once cried in my arms over it? How do I say I got pregnant by accident, and by a man who used me?
“I’m so sorry,” I wail, my head falling into my hands.
“For what? The way you treated Zander Shaw?” She huffs.
“No one cares. I can’t say I wasn’t surprised.
I mean, I thought when you disappeared the night of his concert…
like… did you hook up with that DeSoto guy or someone from his road crew?
I know if you’d met Zander Shaw, you’d have told us all a thousand times by now.
Either that, or you did meet him and were thoroughly unimpressed. ”
I peek up through the web of my fingers. “What?”
Her shoulders fall. “You came home at six in the morning, and it was DeSoto who came and got you to take you backstage, right? It looked like him. Maybe all those security guys look alike.”
I nod, silently telling her to go on.
“I figured someone from backstage saw you and requested you. I guess I’m wrong?”
I need to get her off this track since I signed an NDA, and I’m not sure of anything until I talk to Zander myself. But I don’t want her to be surprised or blindsided by my pregnancy either. I want her to hear it from me.
I suck in a breath and straighten my back, facing her. “I’m pregnant,” I say, dodging any question of who I hooked up with that night.
She’d never believe me if I said Zander Shaw himself spotted me in the crowd, asked DeSoto to bring me backstage, and that it snowballed into a handful of nights that burned themselves into my bones.
Nights I thought meant something to him.
Turns out I was just a na?ve groupie hearing what I wanted to hear, seeing what I wanted to see.
“Pregnant?” Lottie’s eyes widen.
I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
“When? Who?” Her gaze dips to my stomach.
“It’s early. I just took the test right before Scarlett came to get me. That’s why I was in the bathroom.”
Her mouth opens in an “oh” expression, and she slides closer, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “Oh, Romy. And then we put you on parade out there. Of course you were curt, you’re probably freaking out.”
I nod, and she draws me into an embrace. I fall into her arms, and she holds me tightly. Cue the ugly cry.
“It’s going to be fine. We’re going to get through this. So, this is the mystery man’s baby?”
I nod against her chest, hoping she doesn’t ask for specifics. My confession is on the tip of my tongue, wanting to let everyone know what I’ve been hiding these past months, but I want her to be the first to know.
“You’re not mad?” I draw back and wipe the tears from my face. “Upset?”
Her head rears back, and her forehead wrinkles.
“No.” Then her shoulders fall as she must realize what I’m referring to.
“No, Romy. I came to terms with my situation a long time ago, and Brooks and I have talked. Sure, my path will look a lot different than yours, but it’s my path.
I’m at peace with that. Do you know what you’re going to do? ”
I nod weakly. “Become a mother, I suppose.”
A small smile tips the edges of her lips. “I’m happy to have another niece or nephew to love but seeing you so worked up upsets me. This should be a happy thing.”
I scoff.
“Sure, the situation isn’t ideal, and I have no idea who this mystery man is or what he’s going to do when he finds out. Will he be a part of our new bundle of joy’s life, I don’t know. But Romy… a baby? What’s not to love about it?” She squeezes my shoulder.
My chest twists. If she only knew the mystery man is in another building on the ranch right now. That he’s someone whose songs she’s danced to. Someone whose touch I still ache for. But she’s right that this baby deserves love no matter what.
My hand goes to my stomach again. “I’m not sure he’ll want to be a part of this.”
“His fucking loss. Tell me who he is and where he lives, and I’ll pay him a little visit.”
She’d go over and pull him out of the lodge by his ear probably. And I love that she’ll always protect me, but I have to deal with this with Zander on my own.
“Can we keep this between us? For right now?”
Her head tilts with compassion, but she’s not one to leave things be. I’m more of a patient, feel things out person while Lottie is all quick reactions and think on it later.
“Whatever you want. And if you need me to go with you to tell the loser, I’ll drive you. Or come with you to the doctor’s appointment. I’m your partner in this until you fire me.” She puts her arm around my shoulders again.
I lean my head on her shoulder. “I’ll be okay? Like, I can do this?”
She laughs. “Yes, you can do this. And you have an entire ranch of your annoying, overbearing family to help you.”
Her head falls to mine, and we sit on the couch for what feels like forever.
She doesn’t rush me to get up but comforts me instead.
My heart aches with the unfairness that Lottie will have to fight for her chance at motherhood, while I stumbled into it by accident.
If she and Brooks choose that path, she’ll make a great mom.
A mamma bear, more than likely. A grizzly bear.
No matter what, she’ll be an auntie bear, and I’m grateful to have her in my corner because I’m pretty sure I’ll be raising this one on my own.
And maybe that’s why I’m hesitating to tell him—because if Zander tries to make this go away, to sign a check and erase me and his baby from his life, he’ll break my heart all over again.