Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Romy
I’m pacing around the barn as if I’m trying to get this baby out—which I’m not. We’ve still got about four months to go, this baby and me.
I run my hands over my belly that has grown pretty well. Strings of pastel-colored balloons hang along the rafters, and the table where cupcakes are lined is half blue, half pink. Everywhere I look, our family’s laughter bursts around the room. But we’re missing one important person.
My stomach is tight, and my palms are damp, and it has nothing to do with the baby. It’s the anticipation because Zander should have already been here.
He’s been gone for the last week, back in his studio. He was able to come home for a little while after the video editing but has had to leave for shorter trips. This has been our life—him coming and going and me staying behind.
But the interviews are next, and in two weeks, we’re gonna leave this ranch together. I’ll hide out as much as I possibly can, which I realized would be even more important when I woke up one day, and my stomach had popped.
We’re still keeping our secret from the world.
The public knows that we’re dating, and there have been stories in the press every time Zander even seems to run into a woman.
Even if he’s just getting coffee and opening the door for a woman, it turns into they went there together, it was the morning after.
They accuse him of stepping out on me—his sweet little small-town girl, as they like to refer to me.
“Oh my god, stop pacing, Romy.” Sadie picks up a blue-frosted cupcake. “You’re making me dizzy.”
“I’m not pacing.” My hands automatically rest on my belly. It’s become their favorite resting place.
“You’re nesting. Like, in motion.” She grins, blue frosting smeared along her upper lip. “His plane landed, didn’t it?”
I swallow hard. Because yes, it did. And obviously, we’ll wait. But I still wish he was already here—because I miss him. This whole week, as with every time he has to go away, it’s felt like torture being away from him.
Clearly, we are not meant to be in a long-distance relationship. The ranch has felt so empty since he left. And not only him—I mean, the whole crew left with him. Turns out I wasn’t ready for my reality to go back to normal.
The barn doors open.
I hear murmuring, the buzz of voices, and someone says, “Zander.” My heart launches into my throat.
There he is.
He and Beau walk in, while DeSoto stands at the edge of the barn.
Zander strides in wearing a black button-down and black jeans.
He takes off his ball cap that had been pulled low and searches the large room.
He says hi to everybody, shaking hands, slapping backs.
But his gaze keeps moving over everyone.
I watch for a second, so happy he’s actually here.
Then I walk toward him.
Our eyes catch, and he says a halfhearted goodbye to whoever he’s talking to. He crosses the room, ignoring the other handshakes, and catches me in his arms. He spins me once, my burgundy dress trailing around after me. I hug him as tears streak down my face.
“Jesus, I missed you,” he murmurs into my neck, his breath hot and ragged. “I feel like your belly has grown so much in a week.”
I swat him, tears still running down my face. “I know. I told you I felt like I was getting bigger.”
“Yeah. But seeing it…” He places one hand on my stomach and the other on my cheek. “I’m so happy to be home. So happy to be with you. And I’m so fucking happy you’re coming with me the next time I leave this ranch.”
Brooks claps him on the back, and Beau makes some smart-ass comment about what a grumpy ass Zander has been all week. My mom hands Zander a drink, and suddenly everyone’s around us. They all want to ask how it’s going, and he gets swallowed up by my family.
He’s smiling and laughing, but he keeps his hand tucked in mine and squeezes it every once in a while, as if he’s saying, I’m yours. Always remember, I’m yours.
He’s done a great job of squashing all those fears inside me, and I can’t wait until I can go away with him—to see what it would be like if I dared to change my life. If I dared to leave The Knotted Barn and stayed with him on the road.
Because that’s what has to happen if we’re ever going to make this work. I know that now.
I lean up to his ear and say, “You’re mine tonight.”
He turns to me and locks me in his arms, moving us away from the others. “I’m always yours.”
A grin tugs at his mouth, but there’s a promise in his eyes of the sinful things he’s going to do to me tonight. And I cannot wait. The hormones that come with being five months pregnant are hard. I’ve heard other women talk about it, but I can’t believe how horny I am all the time.
We’re interrupted by someone clapping.
Emmett tells everybody it’s showtime. He’s going to do the gender reveal.
He has the canisters set up outside that will blow up and release the color that will indicate the gender of the baby. We all go outside on the snow-dusted balcony.
Briar comes up to me and says, “Emmett’s been worried, so I hope you love it.”
I nod. “I’m sure I will. I gave him the envelope the doctor gave us last week.”
She shrugs. “I hope so. You know, he had to rework his plan. There was a shipping problem, so he had to get the canisters through .”
I smile and squeeze her shoulder. “I’m not worried.”
“Let’s go, Emmett!” Ben shouts down. “It’s freezing.”
“I’m the one freezing my balls off,” he calls up.
“Oh, come on. Just do it,” Lottie says.
“We’re working on it!” Bennett shouts from beside Emmett.
All the cousins are pestering him to get going with it.
They’re looking down at one of the canisters and talking intently as if they’re trying to figure something out down there, but I don’t really know what it is. Zander looks at me, and I mouth, “It’s fine. It’ll be fine.”
“He does the gender reveals for the ranch,” I say. “I’m sure he knows how to work these powder things, right?”
Emmett gives a thumbs-up and walks into the vineyard where he has the rest of the canisters set up.
Then someone uses the audio system to start a countdown. “Three… two… one…”
A big puff of purple smoke shoots out.
We all kind of stare at each other.
“Is that supposed to be pink?” my mom asks.
“I don’t know…” I frown.
Then green smoke shoots up to the sky.
“I was afraid of this,” Briar says next to me, covering her face with her hands.
Poppy mutters, “Oh, Jesus Christ. I can’t believe we left these two buffoons in charge of it.”
Then Bennett shouts, “Hold on, hold on, hold on! Just wait! There’s more.”
“More?” I look at Zander with wide eyes.
A shot of blue comes out.
“That’s three,” Zander whispers.
Then pink right after.
“Four.” I rub my hand over my forehead.
“What does this mean?” my dad asks. “Wouldn’t four colors mean four—”
“Oh my god! Are we having quadruplets or something?” I scream down at Emmett.
Zander and I stare at one another, then we both look at my stomach. Are there four babies in there?
“They would’ve told us if you were having four babies,” he assures me.
“Four cousins!” Wren screams, and she and Leia dance around in a circle.
“Is this Emmett’s idea of a joke?” I ask. “That he thinks we’re having quadruplets and didn’t know what colors to pick for each kid so he’s just doing all of them? Like purple would be a girl, pink would be a girl, blue and green would be boys—”
Then a yellow one shoots off into the air, interrupting all of our thoughts.
“Oh my god. Five—what is five? What is the word for five babies?” I ask no one in particular.
“Quintuplets?” Briar cringes.
I stare at my belly. “There’s no way. I’d be bigger if we were having quintuplets.”
Zander just stares at my stomach, his face turning a shade whiter.
Briar passes Colter to Uncle Bruce and shouts, “Emmett! Get out here and tell us what’s going on!”
Emmett comes out from the vineyard, and he and Bennett jog up the hill while a mix of colored smoke still lingers in the air.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Emmett pants as he finally makes it into The Knotted Barn.
Everyone goes back inside because we’re freezing, but Zander’s still standing on the balcony, staring at the sky and the smoke fading away. I return to his side.
“Five,” he says. “Five.”
I turn toward him, and Emmett blurts out, “No! I’m sorry. They sent me the wrong thing. They were supposed to be five of the same color. I don’t know how it got mixed up.”
Zander and I go back inside with everyone else.
“So, there’s only one?” I ask.
“Yes! Yes, you’re only having one baby.” He laughs to himself but catches Briar’s eye and sobers quickly.
“Emmett, tell us what it is,” I say.
“I’m really upset about the surprise. I’m sorry. They’re gonna hear from me, so don’t worry.”
“Emmett!” we all shout.
“Crap. A boy. You’re having a boy!”
We all erupt into cheers and screams.
Zander pulls me into his arms, his face buried in my neck. “Oh, thank fuck. I mean, I want to have five kids with you, but I’m not sure I want to do it all at once.”
I whisper into his ear, “It’s a boy. We’re going to have a son.”
His voice cracks as if he might be crying, but then his tears spill hot onto my cheeks, and he kisses them away. We share a special moment right before my family presses in—hugging and clapping and shouting and giving us their congratulations in one big group hug.
By the time all the excitement dies down, my cheeks hurt from smiling and Zander’s hand is welded to mine.
We carry on celebrating through the night, and it’s so nice to see everyone loving on us so much. But the second we get inside the honeymoon suite at The Getaway Lodge, his mouth crashes onto mine.
Although I’m tired, I want him more.
My hunger for him aches. My back hits the wall, and his hands frame my face, his body flush against mine.
“God, do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted you this past week?” He’s practically panting.
I claw at his shirt. “I hate sleeping alone. Have I told you that? I hate sleeping alone.”
His laugh is low and vibrates through my chest as he helps me out of my dress. “Well, you’re not sleeping alone tonight.”
Our clothes come off fast and frantic, as if we’re burning alive and the only way to put it out is to be with each other. His hands are everywhere—on my hips, my thighs, the swell of my stomach—and when his palm rests there, he pauses long enough to look at me.
“You, me, and him,” he whispers. “You’re everything I ever wanted and didn’t think I could have.”
I cup his face, my tears blurring the sight of him. “You have us. You always will.”
Then there’s no more talking.
His mouth claims mine as his hands guide me down to the bed. Our rhythm is frantic at first—desperation clawing at us from the starvation of being apart. But then it slows, and it turns into something that spurs more emotion out of me than I thought I’d ever have.
“I missed you,” I gasp, my nails digging into his back. “God, I missed you.”
When we finally collapse, slick with sweat and tangled in the sheets, his arms lock around me as though he’ll never let go.
Then he places his head on the swell of my stomach, and at first, it’s just a hum—a tune. But then his words slip out, low and tender.
Tour bus wheels roll down the highway,
Never cared if someone wanted to stay
But with you it’s different, with you it’s right,
One smile got me seeing the light
Got me wishin' I could be someone I’m not,
Someone who deserves you, who loves you a lot
A man without a temper, without all this pride,
Who ain't got some scared kid buried inside
I imagine it’s the chorus of the single he’s recording.
His hand covers the swell of my stomach as his voice seeps through my skin, reaching the teeny life inside.
And for the first time in weeks, I feel completely whole.