Matteo #2
All I know is that when I’m around Evie, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
I find myself smiling more, laughing more, and most importantly, I feel at peace.
The only other time I’ve ever felt truly at peace is on the ice and yet here I am, craving the need to be beside my best friend’s little sister because she’s all I can think about.
The breath I didn’t realize I had been holding escapes me in a rush as I step through the front door to find Evie at the kitchen island, surrounded by scattered images, her blonde hair tied up in a messy bun, wearing my hoodie.
The sight is a sucker punch to the gut.
Nothing’s ever made me feel this way before.
My heart pounds a furious beat, my hands twitch at my sides to touch her, and my mouth salivates with the desperate urge to put my lips against hers.
She’s my home.
This right here—her lifting her head in my direction and a radiant smile lighting up her face and those soft pearly blue eyes locking on mine—is my home.
I could be anywhere in the world with Evie and all she’d have to do is look at me like that and I’d feel at peace.
“Valenti,” she drawls. “Looking very dapper. Where have you been?”
It takes everything in me not to smile like a fool at her. Far too often I’m fighting a smile because of her but I can’t let them show, because if I did, it would be far too obvious that I’m in love with her.
I’m surprised she can’t see it shining in my eyes every time I look at her.
Because I feel it…all the time.
Every moment of my day is filled with the love I have for the woman in front of me.
Arching a brow, I hang up my keys to give myself a moment to catch my breath. “How did your first day go?” I ask instead.
Deflect.
Always deflect onto her.
Ask her enough questions, you’ll get her talking, and that’s my favorite pastime. Listening to the sound of her voice and watching how she lights up a room.
Sitting up straighter, her smile widens even further. Moving into the kitchen, I lean against the island, watching with fascination as her eyes spark.
There’s my Dove, flying once more.
“It was honestly incredible. The best thing to ever happen to me was getting fired. It felt like everything just clicked. The information flowed, my emotions felt aligned. Everything seemed to slide into place.”
Now I smile. “I’m so goddamn happy for you, Dove.”
She leans forward and places her chin in her palm. “Me too.” Her gaze finds mine, a thousand thoughts and feelings swirling in her blue depths. “I was really nervous.”
“I know.”
She rolls her eyes, but it’s the cutest thing. Always has been.
I love making her roll her eyes. I fantasize about making her do that in my bed, too.
“Always reading me like a book.”
My favorite one to read.
Waving me off, she says, “Enough about me. How was your day?”
“Oh no you don’t. You’re not getting off scot-free. Tell me about the people, the course, your teachers. I want to know everything.”
Pulling back, she scrunches up her nose. “Really?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.”
“But won’t you get bored of my talking?”
Standing to my full height, I get comfortable, leaning on the other side of the island, crossing my ankles and my arms over my chest. “Do I look bored?”
Evie cocks her head. “It’s always hard to tell with you.”
I snort out a laugh. “Liar, you can read me better than most people.”
“Guess I’m the Valenti whisperer,” she teases.
“You’re a rare breed.”
“Indeed I am,” she says with a cheeky smile.
“Go on, stop delaying. Tell me everything.”
And she does. Every micro-detail.
At the end of the day, Evie is an open book. She loves to turn the pages, loves to share her secrets. She just wants to be heard. Unfortunately, her book ended up in the wrong hands and Carter, the fucking twat that he is, tried to close the book anytime she felt like being read.
That will never happen with me.
Ever.
I’m most excited to hear that she’s seemed to have made friends already.
I knew the girls would welcome her with open arms—they’re the kindest women I’ve met—but I had a feeling Evie would need a branch outside of her brother’s team.
Something that’s her own, connections she made through her own merit.
“Do you think you’ll still be friends with Bella, Layla, and Cindy?”
Evie’s eyes widen. “Oh, fuck yes. Those bitches aren’t getting rid of me easily.” Lifting her nose in the air, she says, “I’m in their book club now.”
“I’ve heard notorious things about it.”
“Like?”
“Just let me know when it’s Layla’s turn to pick a book.”
Evie gives me a dubious look. “It’s this month. Should I be concerned?”
Smiling to myself, I shake my head. “No.”
“Liar,” she teases.
Shrugging, I push off the counter, holding her gaze. “That’s good to hear, though. Kieran was saying today how much Layla likes you. Same with Bella and Cindy.”
Averting her eyes as a blush creeps along her cheeks, she whispers, “Good, because they’re really cool.”
A sudden heaviness fills the air, and if I had to guess, I’d bet my money that Evie fears making new friends after how her last close friendship ended. Quickly changing the subject, I point to the scattered images.
“What’s all this?”
“Oh, sorry for taking up all the space.”
“No, it’s fine.” Cocking my head, I spot a photograph of myself from our hike the other day. I’m standing in front of the lake, admiring the view, my hands on my hips. I don’t recognize the places or people in the others. “What is all of it, though?”
Evie perks up at my question. “I’m making a vision board.”
“A vision board?”
She nods, a spark in her eyes. “A board full of images of everything I want to accomplish.”
My brows lift as I take in the images before me with fresh eyes.
Now that I know what it is, I can see it clearer.
There’s piles, images organized into categories.
Photos of a group of girls, of runners at what looks like a race, mountains, paddleboards, canoes.
Travel destinations. Computer screens and phones for the dispatch academy.
Everything she wants in life.
Her new life.
Something warms in my chest, followed by a pang as my gaze slides to the photo of me by the lake. Could she ever envision me amongst everything she wants? Would I ever be able to make it onto her board permanently?
Would I ever be able to make it into her heart?
“What do you envision?”
Dropping her eyes, she begins organizing the images on the large white A3 poster. Moving photos from spot to spot, her head cocked as she bites her bottom lip in concentration.
“I want to do everything. Anything that ever passes my mind, I’m going to say yes. I want to look back at my life and say, ‘oh my god I can’t believe I did that,’ instead of, ‘I wish I had done that,’” she says. Her gaze remains fixed on what she hopes to be her future while I look at mine—her.
“Have you felt held back?”
Her spark dims. “A lot.”
Before I can stop myself, I ask, “Why did you stay with him?”
She looks up. She’s not surprised I asked, but something tells me she’s disappointed I did.
I feel like an asshole but I need to know; I want to know. Because how could she stay with someone who treated her like that when she deserves the world?
I can’t help but feel a flood of emotions.
Jealousy being one, anger being a stronger one, and sadness. Instead of being treated poorly, I could have been the one giving her what she deserves. I could have been giving her the world.
When I was younger, I never thought it was a possibility. Evie is so far away from being a reality that when I think about it, it knocks the wind right out of me. But now that I’ve had this time with her, now that I’ve seen her in my home, in my clothes, I never want to let her go.
It physically pains me to think of a reality where she isn’t in my life.
I can’t imagine a day I wake up and don’t see her bed hair. I can’t imagine a life where I don’t drag her out of bed to go for a hike and savor the way her face lights up at the view once we reach the top.
I can’t let go of her.
It's always been her for me, and standing here in my kitchen, watching her map out a future that doesn’t include me, feels like the worst kind of agony.
“I hope you get everything you wished for in life.”
Evie’s eyes bore through me all the way down to my soul.
“What do you want in life?” she asks.
You.
But I can’t say that, so instead I say what she is to me. “Peace. Happiness.”
“Do you not have that?”
I offer her a crooked grin. “I do now that I’m out of my home. I’m very grateful for my life, I just…” Should I be honest? She’s looking at me like she’s hanging on my every word, like what I say next is so detrimental that I can’t fuck it up.
Of course I should be honest. It’s Evie, I’ve always been able to be honest with her.
“I want to share it with someone,” I whisper hoarsely. “I’m forever grateful that I had your family growing up, but now that it’s just Caleb and I here, I feel like it’s gone quiet again like when I was a kid.”
Reaching forward, her hand slides over mine, the touch restoring something within my heart. I slide my fingers between hers as she acknowledges, “You want a family.”
“One day, I want to have a loud, happy house, filled with everything I craved growing up. But until then, I want to experience life with someone. I want to travel, see the world.”
Grinning, Evie uses her free hand to slide a pile of photos my way. “Paris, London, Milan, Amalfi Coast, Greece, Netherlands, Maldives, Bali, Japan, Switzerland…” She laughs to herself. “Honestly, anywhere and everywhere.”
“You’d love Ireland.”
“Should I add it to the list?”
“Absolutely, the old castles and rolling hills? You’d be in heaven.”
She turns to her open laptop. “On the list it goes.”
“If you ever need a tour guide let me know.”
Her brow arches. “And how would Caleb feel about that?”
The question makes me pause.
Shrugging, I stare her down. “Caleb can manage his own emotions.”
Evie hums. “Can he now? I seem to remember a time where you cared a lot about Caleb’s feelings.”
We’re no longer talking about traveling.