42. What The Hell Did That Guy Say To Him?
42
WHAT THE HELL DID THAT GUY SAY TO HIM?
KYLIE
“I love this little freckle, right here,” Seth whispers, kissing my nose while he hovers over me.
He works slowly down my body, kissing different points and declaring his feelings for each part. I run my hands through his hair and watch through half-closed eyes, loving the feeling of his hands on my body.
“Where did you go just now?” he asks, resting his chin on my belly, his eyes on my face.
“Was just thinking how comfortable I am here. I could stay in this bed forever,” I reply, continuing to stroke his hair.
“I can arrange that, you know. I have a vested interest in keeping you in this bed forever.” He runs his fingers down my side, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.
“Yeah?” I whisper back.
“Yeah. I always want you here.” He presses his lips to my abdomen.
“I always want to be here,” I reply, arching my back.
“Stay with me.”
A noise wakes me, pulling me from the latest version of the same dream I’ve been having for weeks. Every variation ends the same way - with Seth asking me to stay.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Tara asks when I crawl out of my tent.
She’s the first one up, from what I can see, boiling some water for a cup of tea in the food area of our campsite.
“What time is it?” I ask, my voice hoarse while I stretch.
“Just after five. The damn birds woke me up,” she grumbles, and I nod, noticing the chirping for the first time.
I head towards the amenities block, breathing in the early morning air. We’ve been coming to Flat Rock for a week every February for years, avoiding the school holidays but still getting to enjoy the summer weather. It’s so close to the beach that Will and I can surf all day if we want, wandering back for food when we feel like it. At night, the group hangs out at the campsite, just chilling out and enjoying each other’s company around the little fire brazier. It was a tradition we started back in high school once Will and the older members of the group got their licences.
Sometimes new people join, but, excluding the years Bri was living in Sydney, the core group has always been here. But the last two times, including now, the absence of Annelisa has felt like a gaping hole. While we’ve felt it at group gatherings, it’s most noticeable here.
And I get the feeling that this might be Tara’s last time. While she and Will have talked in passing, the distance between them is obvious now, and Tara has avoided him for the most part. It’s another change that I hate. I know that as people get older, they sometimes drift apart from the friendships they had in childhood, but I never thought it would happen to our group.
It’s not only Tara who’s struggling, though. For the past month, I’ve been distracted, as my heart has been a thousand miles away on the other side of the world, claimed by a certain hockey player. I’d been missing my friends and family here while I was away, but now that I’m back, everything feels different.
Everything feels wrong.
I miss Seth’s arms around me, hearing him laugh when I do something crazy. Hell, I even miss going to the games and screaming myself hoarse while cheering for the Mounties.
But it’s not just Seth that I miss. I’d really enjoyed my job working for my aunt and uncle, getting to meet new people constantly and learning about their lives while showing them a part of Canada that I had fallen madly in love with. I suppose I could get a job in the travel industry here, but it doesn’t have the appeal that Canada does.
When I return to our campsite, the others are also up, and I throw myself down on the picnic blanket beside Bri, laying my head in her lap.
“Hey, you. What’s wrong?” She strokes my hair and I close my eyes.
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t even know anymore.”
“Poor baby.” She continues to play with my hair while I lie there.
Jake leans across her and pats my head as well. “Cheer up, Buttercup.”
I prop myself up and look at him. “Buttercup?”
“It rhymed,” he replies with a shrug.
I shake my head, sitting up. “Weirdo.”
“Yep,” he replies with a grin, taking a bite of his apple.
Morgan opens the door to the camper trailer that she and Chris bought last year. They are the only ones to have upgraded from tents, and look far more well rested than the rest of us. They’ve also been the ones to supply the generator though, so I can’t be too mad about the fact that she gets to sleep on an actual mattress each night. It means that, for the first time, I’ve not had to ration my phone usage.
“Why is everyone up so early?” she asks, rubbing a hand over her face .
Chris appears behind her, looking like he could go for a few more hours of sleep.
“The bloody birds,” Bri grumbles, yawning.
“Clearly, none of you are bird fans,” Will chimes in, having just walked back from the amenities block. “Ready for a surf, Bug?”
“Yeah, I’ll just get changed.” I crawl back into my tent and change into my swimmers.
Maybe a surf will help clear my mind of the memories swirling around. Something’s gotta give soon, surely?
Once I’ve pulled on my wetsuit, I meet Will at his ute and he hands me my surfboard before pulling his down.
“You okay?” he asks.
I shrug. “I guess.”
“That doesn’t sound particularly positive, Bug.”
“What do you want me to say, Will?” I reply, frustrated.
“I guess I just want you to be honest. That’s never been a problem for you in the past.”
I shrug again. “I’m just trying to reconcile myself to life back here again.”
“If you’re feeling like that, then perhaps it’s time to admit that you made the wrong choice?”
Sometimes, I really hate my brother.
I don’t bother replying, striding ahead of him and stomping into the waves, craving the solitude of the water.
Hours later, Will and I return to camp to find Tara reading in her camp chair, Bri and Jake gone for a walk with Morgan, and Chris watching hockey on his iPad.
“Who’s playing?” I ask, and Chris jumps, shooting me a pained look.
“Um… Toronto and Calgary.”
“Ah… Okay.” Pushing aside the stab of emotion his words bring to the surface, I peel my wetsuit off, trying not to sh ow how much that bothers me. I’d just got my mind off Seth, but I can’t escape him for long. “Who’s winning?”
“I only just turned it on. It - holy shit.” His eyes widen while he stares at the screen.
“What?” I ask, not even bothering to hide my concern while I wrap my towel around myself.
“Um… Well, Seth just took a swing at one of the Toronto players, and now they’re fighting.”
“What?” I move to stand behind him and squint at the screen.
Chris rewinds a little and I watch while Seth turns and punches one of the Toronto players in the face. I cover my mouth, unable to believe what I’m seeing.
Seth isn’t a fighter. I’ve watched many games now, and he’s always avoided the fights. But yet here he is, throwing his stick and gloves down before grabbing the other player by the jersey and smashing him in the face.
“Fucking hell,” Will mutters, watching over my shoulder. “What the hell did that guy say to him?”
I shake my head while on the screen, Lincoln grabs Seth and pulls him away. The camera zooms in on them and I can see Lincoln yelling in Seth’s ear. Seth skates away, heading for the penalty box, and I can see the moment it hits him he’s just lost control. His shoulders drop when he collapses onto the bench in the box, and he takes his stick and gloves from Lincoln, not looking him in the eye.
“Is this live?” I ask Chris, and he shakes his head.
“No, it’s yesterday’s game.” He looks up at me before returning his attention to the screen.
I bite my lip. Should I call him? I don’t know his schedule anymore, but if he was in Toronto yesterday, he’s probably on a plane, or even playing another game. I get my phone and stare at it, debating on what to do.
Figuring I’ll just make things worse, I decide to leave it. But when Chris exclaims several more times that other fights have broken out, I end up watching the rest of the game with him.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen the Mounties players fight like this, and they are never usually the instigators when they do. It’s unsettling. Something has set them off, and towards the end of the third period, a massive fight breaks out. I shake my head when even the goalies face off at centre ice. I can only imagine how insane Coach is going to be when the game is over, especially because the Mounties are losing.
“I think you should check in on your boyfriend,” Will says, shaking his head.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I say automatically.
He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head again. “Kylie, seriously. It’s obvious something is up with him, and it doesn’t take a genius to work out what. You’ve been moping for a month. I think it’s time to admit that you made a mistake coming home, and he made a mistake in not asking you to stay.”
I refuse to look at my brother, staring at my phone. I open up the messenger app and scroll to Lincoln’s name.
Kylie
Is he okay?
Not knowing what time zone they were currently in, I put my phone down, not expecting a reply anytime soon.
So when my phone buzzes a minute later, I jump.
Lincoln
I take it you saw the game?
He’s a mess, Kyles.
I swallow hard, trying to ignore the tear threatening to slip down my cheek. I look up at Will before looking away again when I see the knowing look in his eyes.
Lincoln
How are you holding up?
I don’t know how to respond to that loaded question. I bite my lip, contemplating my answer. Letting out a shaky breath, I type a message before deleting it and trying again. Before I can question myself a second time, I hit send.
Kylie
Rethinking my life choices…
Lincoln
Well, maybe we should do something about that.
Watching the sunset, I continue toying with my phone, rereading the message exchange with Lincoln over and over. It’s clear he wants me to go back for Seth. And from what I saw of that game, Seth is acting out of character in a big way. We’ve only had a few text conversations since I’ve been home. I think we’ve both been avoiding each other because it hurts too much to think about what we had and what I walked away from.
“You okay?” Tara takes a seat in the sand beside me.
I’d been so preoccupied, I hadn’t even noticed her and Bri approaching.
“Not really. Do you guys think I made a mistake? Should I have stayed, even though Seth didn’t ask me to?”
They exchange a brief look before Bri responds. “Speaking as someone who never saw you in person with Seth, I can only comment based on how you’ve been since you’ve come home. You’re obviously missing him, and you’ve also mentioned the job over there a million times as well. You’ve never had someone in your life that has actively chosen you, and I think that’s why you were so adamant that Seth ask you to stay, but…” she trails off, looking at Tara.
“From the things that both you and Will have said, although he may not have said the words out loud, his actions showed he wanted you to stay. The Seth that I met wasn’t particularly good with the words. So I feel like expecting him to actively come out and say he wants you to leave behind everything you know and stay with him was a bit unfair to him.”
I stare at Tara for a few moments, mulling over her words. Of all the people in my life, she knows Seth the best, and she’s right. He was always so quick to put the wants and needs of others before himself. He would never have dreamed of asking me to make all the sacrifices, even if that’s what he wanted with all his heart.
I drop my head into my hands. “I’m such an idiot.”
Bri puts her arm around me. “No, you’re not. Relationships are hard. Remember how much of a mess I was when I was trying to work out my feelings for Jake? We didn’t have anywhere near the amount of obstacles in our way and it was still hard to work out a balance that worked for us both. I think, in your heart, you know exactly what you should do. It’s just finding the courage to act on it that’s the hard part.”
“When did you get so wise? It’s normally Tara doling out the hard facts like this,” I mumble into my hands.
“I learned from the best, I guess.”
Tara laughs, rubbing my back. “Yep, I have to pass on my knowledge for future camping trips if I’m not around.”
I lift my head, turning to look at her. “This is your last trip, isn’t it?”
She smiles, and I can see the sadness in her eyes. “I think I’ve been trying to force myself to keep coming to group activities, hoping that things will stay the same, but they’re just not. You guys will always be my family, but… I love my sister, even though wh at she did was so crappy, and it’s hard for me to be around when everyone is still so mad at her.”
I feel my heart breaking for her. I can only imagine how it must feel. If it had been Will who had left, I would be just as torn as Tara, wanting to keep our friendship circle the same but maintaining my loyalty to my flesh and blood.
“Nothing will change with us, though. Whether you’re here or on the other side of the world, you two are my people. We’ll be side by side in the old folks’ home. You creating chaos, Bri taking beautiful photos, and me being the constant voice of reason.”
I pull them into a hug on both sides. “I can’t wait. We’ll be the envy of all the oldies.”
Bri gives me a squeeze. “We definitely will be.”