Chapter 23
ALEX
I grabbed another bucket of sardines. With the promise of fish and the sound of the clicker training tool I’d picked up at the pet supply store, I’d made fairly good progress on getting the birds to waddle down the red carpet I’d laid out as a makeshift aisle.
Now all I needed to do was to get them to stand still when they reached the end.
I hadn’t done much actual training of penguins since I’d spent summers at the marine life park. Even then, I’d only been an assistant.
“How’s it going?” Zeb peeked his head around the corner of the temporary shelves we’d set up.
“I’ve been better.” I dropped the bucket to my side. One of the penguins moseyed up and tried to stick her beak inside. “Hey, no fish yet for you.”
Zeb came closer, a cardboard box in his arms. “You got a package from someone named Chyna. Zina asked me to bring it over to you.”
Zina and I had yet to make up over my accusation about the penguin exploitation. Since she’d moved into the mansion, I’d gone from king of the primary suite to trying to fit my six-foot-three-inch frame onto the antique sofa in the formal living room.
“She say what it is?” I asked.
“Nope.” Zeb set the box down on a table. “Want me to open it for you?”
“Sure.” What would Chyna be sending me? I hadn’t heard much from the wedding planner in the past few days, although she seemed to appreciate the pictures I texted her of how the training was going.
“What’s this?” Zeb held up what appeared to be a string of glittery snowflakes. “There’s a note.”
I reached for it and scanned the handwritten card. Unbelievable. Seemed Chyna wanted the penguins to accessorize with snowflake necklaces and bow ties. What would she come up with next?
“Come here, Thelma.” I held out a sardine, capturing Thelma’s attention as I slid the necklace over her head. The bird didn’t seem to mind as she scarfed down her treat.
“You think this is going to work?” Zeb held out a silver sparkly bow tie.
“I have no idea.” I took it and located Gilligan, the tallest male penguin in the group. “Come here, Gilligan. Let’s see how handsome you look in a bow tie with your tails.”
Zeb shook his head. “This is nuts, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. It was nuts to begin with. Now we’re nearing the line of absolutely ridiculous, wouldn’t you say?”
“Is there anything you want me to relay to my sister?” Zeb asked.
Where should I start? I’d tried to apologize for overreacting but hadn’t been able to find the right words.
“Just tell her I’ll try to get the birds to cooperate with their new wardrobe.” It was easier to leave it at that.
“You know, for what it’s worth . . .” Zeb stopped, although he looked like he wanted to say more.
“What?”
“I don’t know what’s going on between you and Zina, but she seems happier when you’re around.” His big shoulders rolled. “I just wanted you to know.”
My chest squeezed tight. “Thanks.”
“Are you planning on sticking around? Like after the wedding?”
“I’d got a lead on a job that will probably have me traveling all the time.” I lifted a shoulder in an apologetic shrug. “So probably not.”
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” Zeb nodded. “See you around.”
“See ya.” I waited until Zeb disappeared around the corner again, and then silently cursed myself for the way the conversation went down.
It’s not that I didn’t want to stick around.
The more time I spent in Ido, the longer I wanted to stay.
I could easily see myself settling in, moving out to the ranch with Gramps, and giving things a real chance with Zina.
But I didn’t know if I could. What if I started to feel stuck?
What if things didn’t work out and I missed the chance to take the job with Munyon?
There were too many unknowns. The possibilities spun around in my head until I couldn’t see straight.
I handed out the rest of the sardines to the motley crew of penguins. “Let’s call it quits for today, okay, gang?”
The penguins milled around, waddling in their small group at the end of the red aisle runner. I’d taken to chatting with them while we worked. Not that I expected them to talk back, but it was better than spending all of my time alone.
“You done for the day?” Gramps came in with Herbie on a leash.
“Yeah.” I secured the last penguin. “Want to grab a burger or something tonight?”
“Nah. Your girlfriend’s got me working with one of the dogs who might be a candidate for that veteran program. Her brother’s been helping.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, Gramps.” I shook the idea out of my head.
Zina and I had shared some amazing time between the sheets together.
But that was all it was. And hell, we weren’t even doing that anymore.
She was still pissed at me. Once the wedding came and went, so would I.
That was my MO, the way I’d lived all of my life. Onto the next adventure.
“Well I don’t know what you young folks call it then. Is she your booty call?”
“Hell, no.” How did my grandfather even know what a booty call was? “Have you been trying to order pay-per-view again?” Lacey would kill him if she ended up with a huge cable bill. She’d already been generous enough to let us stay rent-free.
Gramps waved off the question. “Why don’t you take that non-girlfriend of yours out to dinner tonight? You’ve both been burning the candle at both ends. Might be good to take a break.”
I let my chin drop to my chest. “Yeah, I’ll think about it.
” It wasn’t a bad idea. I probably should spend a little time making up for the way I’d overreacted about the penguin stunt.
My grandfather had been coming out of his shell more and more since we’d been at the mansion together.
He might actually have a good idea from time to time.
“Good. That woman deserves to be treated well.” Gramps disappeared back behind the barrier.
He had a point. With the penguins crated and fed, I didn’t have any other responsibilities until morning.
Maybe Zina and I could find a middle ground, somewhere between the physical attraction and our apparent mutual desire to strangle each other.
I might even be willing to make a little conversation. Truth was, I missed her.
When I got back to the mansion, I knocked on the door to the bedroom she’d stolen from me.
“Come in.”
She sat on the edge of the bed, kicking off her shoes. “You need something?”
“I’m done for the evening. Wondered if you might want to head out and grab a burger?” I tried to sound nonchalant, like it wouldn’t matter to me one way or another if she didn’t want to go.
“Where?”
That was a good sign; she hadn’t shot me down immediately. “Up to you. There’s the Burger Bonanza. Or if you’d rather, we can go to Ortega’s.”
“I don’t know.” She pulled her feet up onto the bed and leaned against the ornate wooden headboard. “I just got back from running Zeb home. I’m kind of tired and was thinking I might just stay in tonight.”
I gestured to the spot next to her. “Care if I sit down?”
“Be my guest.” She pulled her feet up underneath her to make more room.
The mattress creaked as I sat down. “I think we should talk.”
“Should?” Her eyebrows lifted, causing a series of lines to crisscross her forehead.
I dug deeper. This woman tested me in ways I didn’t ever consider. “Let me try that again. I’d like to talk.”
“About what?” She drew a throw pillow against her stomach.
“About us.”
Her eyebrows rose even higher and she let out a soft laugh. “There’s an ‘us’ now?”
“Come on, I’m trying here.” I reached out to cover her hand with mine.
“Trying what? To make yourself feel better?”
“No. I’m trying to have a conversation. I’d like to apologize . . .” Hell, this was harder than I thought it would be.
“For?” she prompted.
“For being an ass about the penguin thing.” I knew now I’d overreacted. There hadn’t been any fallout, and I’d gone a little overboard.
“Okay. Go for it.”
“I just did.”
“Did what?”
“Apologized.”
She rolled her eyes. “No you didn’t. You said you’d like to apologize.”
“Right.”
“But you never actually said it.”
“Said what?”
“Forget it.” She tossed the pillow aside and hopped off the bed.
“What just happened?” I glanced from the pillow she’d discarded to where she stood looking out the window. “I feel like I missed something.”
The floor-to-ceiling curtain swayed as she moved past it. “You did miss something.”
I got off the bed and took cautious steps toward her. “Care to fill me in?”
She turned. “An apology usually involves something beyond saying you want to apologize.”
“What?” I was stumped.
“The actual apology. The ‘I’m sorry’ part.” She shook her head while giving me a major eye roll. “You can talk around it all you want but it doesn’t count for anything unless you actually say the words.”
Like a ray of sunshine fought its way through the clouds, comprehension began to enlighten my brain. She wanted me to say the actual words. That was all. I faced her, reaching out to brush her hair behind her shoulder. “Zina . . .”
“Yes?” The word came out on a huffy sigh. Like she’d reached the end of her rope and just let go.
I took both of her hands in mine. She didn’t squeeze back, but she didn’t pull away, either. A good sign under the circumstances.
“Are you ready for this?” I licked my lips, suddenly a little unsure of how she might respond.
“I suppose so.” Her chin tucked down, close to her chest. The hair I’d pushed over her shoulder fell over her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” There. I’d said it. I’d apologized and the ground hadn’t shaken underneath me.
A gaping hole hadn’t appeared in the floor and swallowed me up.
I did a mental run-through of all my bodily systems. Everything seemed to be in check.
Maybe life didn’t end when a guy had to say he was sorry.
“I accept your apology.” She glanced up at me, that hint of flirtatious sass creeping back into her smile. “And I’m sorry too. For exploiting your penguins and risking the wedding. I didn’t think it through.”