Chapter 33
ALEX
I waited to see if Zina would respond. It would serve me right if she never spoke to me again.
I felt awful about walking out, but I couldn’t help it.
All the plans, the commitments, the pressure to do what everyone else thought I should had piled up on me until I couldn’t take it anymore.
Walking away had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I didn’t have a choice.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I stood in front of the departure board at Houston’s international airport.
The vise around my heart tightened as I searched for the gate for my departure.
My usual MO when I got overwhelmed or it seemed like someone was backing me into a corner was to get the hell out as fast as possible. Why wasn’t it working this time?
Once I got where I was going, far away from the epicenter of it all, I was sure I’d feel better. With a resigned shrug, I made my way to the gate area, ready to take off on a new adventure and clear my head and hopefully my heart.
Snagging a last-minute ticket on a relatively full flight put me in a middle seat between an older man and a woman who seemed to be a few years younger than me.
I wished I’d had enough time to make arrangements for an emergency exit row.
With my long legs, the idea of spending the next couple of hours squeezed into a middle seat almost made me reconsider.
But the alternative of postponing and waiting for a later flight was even less appealing, so I stowed my backpack in the overhead compartment and sat down.
“You going all the way to the Caymans?” the older man asked.
I nodded, hoping my silence might deter the man from further conversation. It didn’t.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been back.”
“Oh yeah? That’s nice.” I plumped the pillow that had been sitting on my seat and tried to get comfortable.
“Last time I was there I got married.”
“Mmm.” The thought of engaging in conversation all the way until we made the stop in Miami made my stomach clench. Surely the guy would get the hint.
“She died last year.”
The woman on my left leaned over. “I’m so sorry. How long were you together?”
“Forty-three years. Never saw it coming but it was the most impulsive, best decision I’ve ever made. I’m heading back to spread her ashes.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” The woman reached past me and patted the man on the arm. Then she glared at me, an expectant look on her face.
“I’m sorry, too.” The whole reason I left Ido was to outrun my emotions.
I couldn’t provide a shoulder for the guy next to me to cry on all the way to the Caymans.
Maybe I could switch seats. There had to be an aisle or window seat open somewhere.
I sat up straighter and craned my neck to look for an opening.
“You ever been married?” the man asked me.
“What, me? No. Hard no to that.” I lowered myself back into my seat.
There weren’t any openings in the surrounding rows, and the flight attendant was about to close the aircraft door.
Looked like I was stuck. At least for the next two and a half hours.
I vowed to check in at the ticket counter when we landed in Miami and see if I could get a row to myself on the next leg.
“That’s too bad. You’re still young though. You’ve got plenty of time.”
“Oh, I’m not the marrying kind.” I didn’t mean to speak up; I actually preferred not to engage in conversation if the guy wanted to talk about commitment.
“I didn’t think I was, either. Funny what meeting the right person will do to long-held beliefs.”
I nodded as I slid my earbuds in place. If the guy couldn’t take a subtle hint, maybe he’d get a more direct message.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the playlist I’d created a couple of years ago.
A little heavy metal usually got me psyched up for my next trip.
But for some reason, after playing the eighty-four-minute list of tracks all the way through twice, I still hadn’t lost that nagging feeling in my gut that I was doing the wrong thing.
I ran through the events that led up to my departure.
Spending time with Zina had been amazing.
A vision of her snuggling one of the tiny rescue pups drifted through my mind.
Then what happened later when we’d finally stopped arguing and decided to give in to the attraction between us and take a chance on each other.
She gave so freely of herself. And the whole time I’d had one foot halfway out the door.
I didn’t deserve her trust. She was better off without me.
She’d be pissed as hell for a while, but she’d realize it was for the best. I’d always been up front with her that I wasn’t a man who liked to stay put.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I cracked an eyelid to see the older man next to me signaling for me to take my earbuds out. “Last call for snacks. Figured a young guy like you might not want to miss out.”
“Thanks.” I tucked my earbuds into the case and lowered my tray.
I hadn’t eaten a thing since I’d snagged a quick snack before the wedding.
Zina had brought me a made-from-scratch muffin she’d picked up on a run into town the day before.
She said she wanted to make sure I got through the ceremony on a full stomach.
I checked my watch. She’d probably be sound asleep right now. For a moment I let myself think about how it had felt to wake up with her in my arms. I’d never have that again. Not now.
“You grow up in Texas, son?” The guy next to me gestured to my boots.
I hadn’t thought to change into my sneakers before taking off for the airport.
I’d probably stick out like a sore thumb once I landed in Miami.
Maybe I could trade the handcrafted boots for something else.
Something that didn’t remind me of my roots or everything I’d left behind in Texas.
“Yes. Though I’ve been away for a long time. I was just home for a quick visit.”
“You ranch?”
“We used to. My grandfather owns a place with some acreage just outside of Ido.” Or at least he would for a little while longer. Hopefully Char would make good on my promise to let Gramps move back out to the ranch. My heart ached as a sliver of regret lodged deep.
The man chuckled. “Ido, huh? I saw a piece in the paper about the wacky wedding stuff they had going on over there this weekend. You see any of that?”
“A little bit.” I didn’t like the turn of conversation. Although, to be fair, I hadn’t liked the conversation from the start.
“Oh, I think it sounded like fun,” the gal on my left piped in. “I mean, penguins at a wedding is kind of a stretch. I hope they’re not mistreating those birds at all.”
“They’re not.” I couldn’t let some rumor get started about how Ido was exploiting penguins for their own profit.
“How do you know that?” she asked.
“I just do.” I glanced ahead. The flight attendant still had a few rows to go before she reached us.
“Were you involved in that at all?” the man asked.
“Here and there. I can tell you the penguins are being cared for by a qualified professional under the supervision of the aquarium in Houston. They’re handling everything on the up-and-up.”
“Good to know.” The woman turned back to her magazine, but I wondered at my own comment.
The penguins were being taken care of by a somewhat qualified professional.
But now? Now it was up to Zina and Gramps to see to their every need before they moved back to their habitat.
I hadn’t considered that my abrupt departure might put them at risk of criticism.
I’d only been thinking about myself. Again.
“You don’t happen to have a copy of that article, do you?” I asked.
“Sure. I’m finished with the paper if you want to hang on to it.” The man reached into the seat pocket in front of him.
“Thanks.” I flipped through it until I came to the article about Ido and the high-profile wedding they were hosting at the Phillips House.
The reporter didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.
The article mentioned the penguins, then went on to talk about the wedding planner flying all the way in from LA.
At the bottom it said something about how the penguins were being housed with dogs from For Pitties’ Sake.
That part was true, but not the paragraph that followed.
I read the short bit twice. According to the reporter, the original shelter had been condemned and was going to be torn down.
It went on to say the director of the rescue was unavailable for comment but that they’d be following up to make sure visitors to the Phillips House weren’t at risk.
At risk of what?
I’d heard Zina talk about how the dogs at the rescue were misunderstood.
I’d been around them for weeks and hadn’t seen a single reason to be wary of the breed.
What was she going to do without the shelter?
She couldn’t keep the rescue dogs at the warehouse forever.
With everything else going on, did she even know about not being able to move back to the shelter yet?
My heart thudded, a deep, hollow pounding in my chest. She’d be devastated when she found out. I needed to be there for her. Thoughts of hiding away in the Caymans dissipated. I needed to get back to Ido, and the sooner the better.
“Are you okay?” The older man glanced over, probably wondering what had gotten into me in the past couple of minutes.
“I will be.” I took in a shaky breath. I’d never been so certain of anything. “Once I get back to Ido and prevent myself from making the biggest mistake of my life.”