Chapter 34 #2
Something scuffled on the gravel outside.
Aurora let out a bark, and the sound receded.
Armed with the stapler and my phone’s flashlight app, I peered through the window.
No one was there. Feeling like a fool, I pulled open the door and looked outside.
I glanced to my right, then swung my gaze to the left.
Nothing. Then my gaze came to rest on the ground.
A stuffed penguin sat two feet in front of me . . . not more than a foot tall. Was this someone’s idea of a joke? I almost slammed the door but then noticed a tag hanging from around the stuffed animal’s neck. I reached for it and read the handwritten note.
I made a mistake and now I know. How wrong I was to let you go.
I let the penguin drop to my side. Alex? He wasn’t that cheesy, was he? A quick glance around didn’t reveal anything out of place. I stepped outside. Aurora ran toward something in the darkness up ahead.
“Aurora, come back.” The dog leapt up, jumping at something, no, make that someone.
Alex came toward the front door, triggering the motion sensor to activate the front floodlight. He dropped to one knee in front of me and reached for my hand.
I jerked it away before he could touch me. “What are you doing here?” My pulse kicked up so high it felt like a percussion section had started playing a private concert inside my chest.
“I’m literally on my knees, begging you to forgive me.” He looked like shit. Shit that had sat out all day and warmed up in the Texas sun. His hair shot out in all directions like he’d been running his hands through it all day. Dark circles stood out under his eyes.
“Get up.” I turned my back on him and headed toward the door, wanting to put some sort of barrier between us. I supposed the glass door would have to do.
He struggled to his feet and caught my hand. “Please give me a chance to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain.” I turned toward him and crossed my arms over my chest. “You bailed.”
Biting his lip, he nodded. “You’re right. There’s no excuse for me leaving. Especially not the way I did. I’m sorry about the shelter.”
“I guess you heard. Joke’s on me, isn’t it?
The whole reason I went into this was to try to save the shelter.
And now they’re tearing it down anyway.” It was too much.
I hadn’t begun to process Alex walking out on me and now I had to deal with losing the shelter, too.
I slumped against the doorway and let the tears finally come.
“Come here.” Alex opened up his arms. I didn’t want to lean on him. He’d done nothing but cause pain, but he moved closer, and before I could turn away, I’d plastered myself against him, holding on for dear life as waves of grief washed over me.
It was an ugly cry. A snot-running-down-the-nose, T-shirt-soaking outpouring of emotion.
“It’s okay.” His palm smoothed over my back while he murmured soothing words against my ear. “It’s all going to be okay.”
I fought with myself between wanting to knee him in the groin and leave him writhing on the floor and needing to take the comfort he offered. When it seemed like I could pull back and face him without bursting into tears again, I broke the embrace.
“You okay?” he asked.
I wanted to tell him I’d never be okay again but instead I nodded, not wanting to let him see me in my weakened, pathetic state. “I’ll be fine. Don’t you have a plane to catch?”
“No. I did. I mean, I got a ticket to Grand Cayman and flew to Miami but then it hit me.”
I’d like to hit him. But I also wanted to find out what big revelation he thought he’d experienced. “And?”
He took my hands in his. “And I don’t want to run. Not this time. Not from you.”
My lungs failed me and I took in a shaky breath. “But you did.”
“I know. I spooked.” He shrugged. “I felt stuck, like I’d backed myself into a corner.”
“Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?”
“That’s just it.” He squeezed my hands. I’d missed the contact.
Even though he’d been gone less than forty-eight hours, it felt like forever since we’d touched.
“It was all me. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to get attached.
I watched my dad give up his dreams because he got trapped. I didn’t want that to happen to me.”
“God forbid you find love. You’re right, what a horrible way to make sure you’re miserable for the rest of your life.”
“Would you let me finish apologizing? Someone told me once that it doesn’t count unless I say the actual words.”
For the first time, the crushing feeling around my heart eased. “Whoever said that sounds super smart.”
“She is.” He squeezed my hands together. “Zina Baxter, I failed you and I’m so incredibly sorry. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Will you please accept my apology and give me another chance?”
“What happens if you get spooked again?”
He pressed something into my hands. “Here’s my passport. I want you to hang on to it for as long as it takes for you to feel like I’m not going to run out on you again.”
“Alex, I can’t take this. I don’t want it. You shouldn’t feel bound to me because you can’t leave. If you want to make this work, you have to make the choice every day that you want to stay.”
“I figured you might say something like that, so I brought you this, too.” He held out a clicker, just like the one he’d used to train the penguins.
“Let’s work on this together. Anytime I get out of hand you can put me back in my place with a click.
” He demonstrated by pressing on the thin metal strip.
“Can I train you to feed the dogs and pooper scoop by clicking on the magic clicker?”
He smiled and it sent a shock of warmth straight through me. “That’s the other thing. Here.”
“What’s this?” He’d handed me a key. “I don’t get it.”
“That’s a key to one of the climate-controlled outbuildings on my granddad’s property. I’m going to be living in the ranch house with him. He’s been wanting to move home for a while now, but Char hasn’t been able to swing it. There’s plenty of room out there for you to set up the shelter.”
“You’re kidding.” But one look at his face told me he wasn’t.
“Plenty of room in the house for you and Zeb, too, if you want to be close to the dogs.” He lowered his voice and stepped closer. “And close to me.”
“Are you asking me to move in with you?”
He nodded.
“And my brother and your granddad?”
He winced and nodded again.
“I believe that’s the most unromantic offer I’ve ever had.”
“Really?” His nose nuzzled into my hair, and his lips pressed against a sensitive spot behind my ear. “I make fantastic breakfast quesadillas.”
“Oh, well, if there will be breakfast quesadillas, I might consider it.”
“There’s one thing I’m even better at than making breakfast.”
“Is that special talent part of your offer as well?” I knew what one thing he was referring to and even if I hated his guts and never wanted to set eyes on him again, I’d still have to admit how good he was at that.
“It can be.”
“Well, I think we’d have to negotiate that into the arrangement. How long will that offer stay open?”
He leaned down and put an arm behind my knees, sweeping me off my feet and into his arms. “There’s no expiration date. It’s good for a lifetime.”
“A lifetime?”
He nodded, his gaze meeting mine. Love shone through.
He was telling the truth. I might not have seen it coming and probably would have run the other way if I had.
But somewhere over the past several weeks I’d fallen hard for Alex Sanders.
He’d changed the way I looked at the world, changed the way I looked at myself.
And most of all, he’d taught me that a love like ours was worth a second chance.
I smiled at him, the kind of smile that an amazing man like him deserved. “A lifetime sounds good. I think we can definitely start with that.”