Chapter 40
Chapter
Forty
Serena
“Mommy, are we going to West’s house?” Joey’s voice from the back seat breaks my heart a little, but I force myself to smile.
“Not tonight, sweetie.”
“I want to play hockey.”
“I know, but it’s getting late. We’re going to see my friend Tony and then you have to eat your dinner and have a bath. Once we’re done with all that, we’ll read stories. What if Auntie Holly reads to you?”
His lower lip juts out. “I want West to do it.”
Ugh.
One of many things I’d been afraid of.
I can forgive West for hurting me—I took a risk and wound up losing. But I’m a big girl; I can take it.
Hurting my son, on the other hand, is unforgivable.
However, first I have to get through this meeting with Tony. I don’t know why he’s still here, or back here, but he texted me and there was a sense of urgency. This is it, though. Depending on what he says, this is either going to be the last I hear from him or we’ll be communicating via lawyers.
My advance from Dusty Peaks wasn’t that much money once I paid to update my SAG/AFTRA membership and bought my new car outright.
No matter what happens, the car was mandatory.
I need one, and the amount that’s left is in a savings account for the proverbial rainy day.
It’s not enough to pay a lawyer for a drawn-out custody battle, but the good news is I’m still working my regular job.
I have a little bit of a buffer until July, when the show starts filming.
“Thanks for coming.” We’re meeting at a Chuck E. Cheese so Joey can play while we talk, and I don’t protest when Tony hands Joey a billion tokens. He takes off like a shot and I watch for a moment before sinking down across from Tony at a small table.
“Why are we here?” I ask him.
He’s quiet at first, staring in the direction Joey went.
“He’s beautiful,” he says.
“He is,” I agree.
“Tell me the truth, Serena.”
“Okay.”
“Is he better off without me?”
I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer, but I opt to stick with honesty. “I think so, yes.”
“You think West will be a better father than me?” I’ve never seen so much vulnerability in him before, but I can’t afford to be gentle. Joey is better off without him, and lying to save his feelings isn’t what’s best for my son.
West isn’t going to be his father but that’s none of Tony’s business—and the answer is the same, regardless of our personal situation. West is simply a much better human being. Not without faults, but certainly better than Tony.
“Yes.” The answer is simple even though the situation is not.
“I don’t have a lot of friends,” he says after a beat.
He seems to be thinking aloud, so I let him ramble.
“That was always done by design. I’m a good hockey player but once I got to the big leagues I realized I wasn’t as good as everyone told me I was.
So, I opted to take on the role of shit disturber.
No one likes me, but everyone talks about me.
I’m good at being a dick so my name always comes up, which can be both good and bad. ”
That’s for sure.
“It wasn’t supposed to bleed into my personal life, but somehow, it’s a persona I’ve fully embraced.” He finally looks at me, face tight with emotion he’s trying not to show. “And I think it’s too late to change. At least, not in a meaningful way.”
Christ. I don’t know where this is going, but I’m trying to be patient even though I just want to shake him and tell him to get to the point.
“I want to make a deal.”
Here we go.
“Okay.” I keep my voice level.
“I stay out of your life, and his, but you reach out if you ever get in a situation where he needs something. A kidney. Money for sports. I don’t know.
I’m guessing West will take good care of both of you, but just in case.
I’ll put money in a separate trust. He won’t get it until I’m dead, unless something urgent comes up.
No strings, Serena. You’re the trustee.”
“Why?” I ask carefully.
“Because technically I helped give him life. He didn’t ask to be here, and I wasn’t a good enough guy to show up for him.
This way, when I’m gone, he’ll at least know I made provisions for him.
In the end, you can do whatever you want with the money.
I mean, I don’t plan to die for a long time. ” He meets my gaze. “Is that okay?”
This isn’t exactly what I wanted but it’s close.
And without West in my life, a trust fund for a true emergency, like a car accident or some awful medical scenario, isn’t a bad thing.
“Yes. It’s fine.” I keep my voice even. “But if you have a change of heart in five years, know I’ll fight you. Tooth and nail.”
He actually smiles. “I do know. I think that’s why I didn’t really worry about whether or not you kept him—I figured you had more balls than me in that regard.” He gets to his feet. “So, I’m out.” He looks over at Joey, his expression inscrutable. “Take care, Serena.”
And with that, he strides out of the building without looking back.
I swallow, suddenly a little emotional.
Did I make a mistake in pushing Joey’s father away, especially now that West isn’t in the picture anymore?
No, Tony isn’t a great guy. He’d make both of our lives hell.
This is the best solution.
So, I let Joey play for an hour, joining him for a game of skeeball, which he loves.
Then we head for home.
It’s late, I’m tired, and the last week has been draining.
I would kill to be able to soak in West’s gorgeous bathtub, but that’s not going to happen so I’ll have to settle for a hot shower, a cup of tea, and maybe a good book. There’s a lot to look forward to at the moment, and all I can do is put one foot in front of the other.
Broken hearts don’t mend overnight, but mine will eventually.
I’m so lost in thought I’m almost to my apartment when I see the SUV parked there.
Oh, shit.
I put my new SUV in park and sit there for a few seconds, heart pounding.
What the hell is West doing here?
And why did Holly let him in?
Dammit.
“It’s West!” Before I can react, Joey unbuckles himself and jumps down, opening the door on his own. My SUV is a lot smaller than West’s Tahoe, and he can get in and out easily.
“West!” He’s yelling West’s name as he races into the house, leaving me behind with my oversized purse and his backpack.
“Traitor,” I mutter under my breath.
Well, there’s nothing to be done except get this over with.
I grab my things and stalk into the house.
And the first thing I see is a humongous bouquet of flowers.