Chapter 36
How do people survive in a marriage? It is baffling to Amy.
Strolling arm in arm through Parisian streets, as if that’s just a normal thing to do.
Looking at art in Prague. Really staring at paintings, and then talking about them afterwards.
Taking it in turns to cook, watching true-crime documentaries on Netflix. Going to the gym together. Yikes.
Not her and Adam though.
‘I was going to fly out,’ says Amy, tucked up in her private cabin. She speaks up. Amy is always surprised by how noisy the engine is on the jet. ‘Surprise you in Saudi Arabia.’
‘I’m in Kuwait now,’ says Adam. ‘So we’d both have got a surprise. I wish you’d been able to come. That would’ve been nice.’
‘Murders, you know,’ says Amy.
She misses him, she won’t deny that. But she’d rather he was in Kuwait at the end of a phone than in a café in Prague talking to her about a sculpture.
Couples should be two separate people, not a composite.
A friend of Adam’s called Chris is married to a woman called Hazel, and they call themselves ‘Crazel’.
Amy once refused to go to a party because of it.
Amy and Adam call themselves ‘Amy and Adam’.
Adam had briefly toyed with ‘Adam and Amy’, but it had never stuck.
‘Straight after we’re done though,’ says Amy, ‘I’m going to come and see you.’
Adam has given no indication that he knows their anniversary is imminent. That’s okay, love is not about calendars. Some of the worst people in the world probably remember their anniversaries, don’t they? Still, Amy always remembers.
‘I’m straight back over to Saudi after this,’ says Adam. ‘Solve those murders quickly for me.’
‘I’m working on it,’ says Amy. ‘If you see a bald guy with a gun, let me know.’
It’s their seventh anniversary in three days. Their gifts are supposed to be copper, which she is struggling with. If they don’t see each other, if Adam doesn’t remember, then the plus side is she won’t have to think of a gift.
‘I’ll keep an eye out,’ says Adam. ‘How is the case?’
How do people stand each other, day in, day out? Why don’t ‘Crazel’ kill each other out of pure embarrassment alone?
‘Six guys ran the fake pharmaceuticals business around the world,’ says Amy. ‘Three of them are dead, one of them is our client, one’s on a murder spree and the other one just took us out for steak. And now we’re going to Málaga because the rudest woman in the world told us to.’
‘Who’s the one who’s killing the others?’
‘That’s our bald guy with the gun,’ says Amy. ‘A guy called Jakob Eriksson, but we now think he might be called Connor Brooks.’
‘Still bald though?’ says Adam.
‘Seems that way,’ says Amy.
Amy only really thinks about the little girl sitting on the stairs when she’s talking to Adam.
Thinks about Paula and Grant not wanting her.
Sometimes she thinks about Adam leaving.
He has had enough. Or she is not enough.
And she’ll sit on another stair as the door slams. Other people will break your heart, but what is the use of a heart without other people?
‘Good steak?’
‘Hmm?’ Amy is tracing little blue flowers in her mind.
‘The steak,’ says Adam. ‘Good?’
‘Bit small,’ says Amy. ‘But I made Steve stop for a burger on the way home.’
‘I should probably head off,’ says Adam. ‘I have to sell a chatbot to a sheikh.’
People get married to chatbots, Amy saw a thing about it on her phone.
People are lonely, she supposes. That probably explains ‘Crazel’.
Doesn’t excuse it, but explains it. Amy has been many things in her life – frightened, quiet, ashamed, broken – but she doesn’t think she’s ever been lonely.
Or maybe she’s always been lonely? Perhaps the feeling is so normal to her, she doesn’t have a name for it?
‘He’s good, by the way,’ says Amy.
‘Sorry?’
‘Your dad,’ says Amy. ‘He’s good. Should I give him your love?’
Adam takes a while to think about this.
‘Did he give me his?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did he actually?’
‘It was in his eyes,’ says Amy.
‘You can give him my love,’ says Adam. ‘But don’t lay it on too thick.’
‘I’ll tell him his son slightly sends his love,’ says Amy.
‘Perfect,’ says Adam. ‘And we’re okay? I know it’s been a while this time.’
‘Could be worse,’ says Amy. ‘We could be in Prague.’
‘Pretending to enjoy an art gallery,’ says Adam. They have had this discussion before.
‘Exactly,’ says Amy.
It’s difficult sometimes, she and Adam being away so much. It’s silly to argue otherwise. But Amy has always been happy with difficult. And one of the many reasons she loves Adam is that he’s never suggested they go on a weekend mini-break.
‘We’re okay,’ says Amy. ‘I love you.’
They are. And she does. If Adam doesn’t remember their anniversary, that signifies nothing. There’s always next year. And what the hell can you buy that’s copper?
‘I love you too,’ says Adam. ‘And an awful lot more than slightly. Go catch a scary bald guy for me.’