22. Miles
MILES
M onday after lunch, I peeled wallpaper with her all afternoon.
I left at the end of the day to go surfing, and even though I asked her if she wanted to come, she declined.
It killed me to say good night. Still does, every time.
But I have to keep forcing myself to slow things down.
It won’t end well for me if we go full steam ahead only to crash and burn.
I want it to work. I don’t want her to leave.
The days begin blur after that. A week passes, and I see Jenna as much as possible, but never as much as I want to.
She still maintains that she is leaving when the house is ready to sell.
Sometimes it’s just a passing comment, tossed into conversation like it means nothing.
But when she says it, everything in me feels paralyzed.
My chest hurts, my throat tightens, my stomach winds itself in knots.
And when I ask where she thinks she’ll go next, she doesn’t have an answer for me.
I think that’s the only thing that gives me hope—maybe I can convince her she belongs here—with me.
For now, I focus on the present. The house repairs are underway and Jenna and I are growing closer.
I’m planning to tell her how I feel—to let her know I want her to stay.
I just have to be careful. I’m learning that Jenna doesn’t respond well to pressure, so I’m doing my best not to give her any.
It’s the following Tuesday, and we have texted a few times throughout the day, but I forced myself not to ask her what she’s doing tonight.
Instead, I decide to forgo my usual evening surf and drive up the parkway to the nearest big-box electronics store.
I’m shutting down my computer when I tell Nate this.
“You’re doing what?” Nate asks incredulously as I stand grabbing my keys and my jacket off the coat rack by the door.
“I’m going to Best Buy and getting Jenna a TV and a Roku,” I repeat, ignoring the insinuation in my brother’s voice.
He lets out a low whistle. “First a coffee pot and now a TV. Man, who are you?” He leans back in his desk chair, feigning amusement, but I’d like to think my baby brother is happy for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to do something nice for a girl.
“Why don’t you and Caden come with me? We’ll grab dinner,” I suggest, knowing Nate could probably use a break from his usual routine.
“Yeah, all right,” he agrees.
Two hours later, my four-year-old nephew is running around the electronics store like he took a stimulant while Nate and I mull over our TV options.
“Yo, Caden, settle down,” Nate scolds, making an attempt to grab the little tornado’s arm.
“Well, if you go too big or too expensive, you’re going to freak her out,” Nate reminds me.
Caden buzzes around us again, and this time Nate is successful at gripping him around his torso and tossing him over his shoulder. He dissolves into a fit of giggles.
“I know. I figured a moderate size… If she gets mad, I could tell her it’s for selfish reasons. I want to watch TV at her house.” I purse my lips, weighing my options.
“You can get a thirty-two-inch TV for less than a hundred bucks now,” Nate points out.
“That’s probably less than taking her to dinner.
And probably the least likely to freak her out.
” Caden squirms in his arms. “You got to decide quick though—this kid isn’t going to last much longer.
Probably should have skipped the chocolate ice cream.
” Nate hangs Caden upside down and swings him around, eliciting another loud giggle.
“Okay, let’s go thirty-two-inch,” I say definitively.
An hour later, I drop Nate and a sleeping Caden off at their house and drive straight to Jenna’s.
I pull up to the curb and there is only one light on in the upstairs bedroom.
My plan is to drop the TV on the porch and then text her, telling her to get the surprise I left for her.
It’s the perfect plan, but as soon as I’m walking up the front steps, the front door swings open.
“Miles?” Jenna furrows her brow, clearly surprised to see me. “What are you doing here? What’s that?”
“I, uh…bought you a new TV.” I lift it higher so she can see what is already obvious.
“Huh.” Jenna clicks her tongue. “And just why did you do that?” She puts her hands on her hips. “I thought I told you I don’t need a TV right now.”
I scoff. “Please. This is for me. I need to be able to watch TV when I’m over here,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Is that so?” Jenna huffs, an almost hopeful glint in her eyes. “Well, I guess that’s fine then.” She bites back a smile.
I sigh with relief. If she got mad at me, I’d have to drive all the way back to the store.
Then I would have had to figure out how to make her un-mad at me.
I move to put the box down on the porch when Jenna says, “Are you going to just leave it here for me to deal with or are you at least going to set it up?” She pulls the door open further and walks inside.
I chuckle. “You drive a hard bargain, lady,” I call after her, catching the door with my hip.
The TV from the nineties only needs to be unplugged, but it is insanely dusty and surprisingly heavy. I almost call one of my buddies over to help me move it, but Jenna and I manage to do it together—solidifying her sexiness in my mind—and get it out to the curb.I love a strong woman.
“I can’t believe we watched TV on that thing,” Jenna mutters, dusting her hands off, as we walk inside.
I laugh, kneeling to unbox the new flat screen. “I know. Prepare for your mind to be blown.”
In ten minutes, I have everything hooked up. Jenna plops on the old tweed sofa with the remote. I’m standing awkwardly, preparing to leave, when she looks up at me, a coy smile on her lips. “Don’t you want to stay and watch a movie?”
Do I ever. I grin. “I wish I could…but I have early meetings. I should probably get home.” I already regret declining her invitation, but I know I’m in too deep.
If I stay with her tonight, I’m never going to leave again.
I’m already becoming too attached to her, and if she still plans to leave—and she hasn’t said otherwise—I’m the one who will be hurt here. I really need to tell her how I feel.
Jenna juts out her lower lip. “Boo,” she whines.
“Don’t you have work tomorrow anyway?” I ask.
“I do,” she sighs. “Okay, fine. Another night.” She stands up to walk me to the door and when we’re there, she catches my wrist. “Thank you, Miles,” she says, reaching up to peck me on the lips. “For everything.”
My smile widens unconsciously. She’s not mad at me.
I actually made her happy. Maybe she does want a white knight.
I know Jenna could go buy herself a TV. But she hasn’t yet, so I wanted to do it for her.
I want to show her that I’m thinking of her and even if she doesn’t need my help, I want to give it.
I want to take care of her. “Don’t mention it.
” I tip her chin up and kiss her goodnight again.
“I’ll be by tomorrow after work with some couple’s costume ideas,” I say, a slow smile sweeping across my face.
“Oh, really? ” she teases, “I’ll look forward to it.”
“Bye,” I say, pulling the door closed behind me.
I am out of my depth and it’s scarier than the wave that took me out the other day. I know I’ve been out of the game for a while but…I think I’m falling for Jenna.