18. JOSH
JOSH
“Yo, heard the hottie from the catalog dumped your ass.”
“You heard wrong,” I dryly responded to Charlie Sinclair. The third baseman for Philly and the one currently standing on my base. He was trying to get me roused up to fuck up. Wasn’t going to work.
“Then how come I don’t see you around with her anymore?”
“Dude, when did you get so interested in my life?” I scoffed.
“I’m not!”
“Sure, sure. If you want me to take you out, just ask,” I teased.
He rolled his eyes just as Kev wound up and sent a fastball directly over the plate, but he was ready for it.
The clink of the ball on the bat had Charlie scrambling off my base.
The ball landed in the middle of the outfield.
Jake scooped it up and threw it to home, but it was too late, he’d made it around to Home plate.
The next batter struck out, ending the game and leaving us at a 5-4 deficit.
Charlie cheered and jumped in the air. They had won. Fuck. We’d made too many mistakes tonight. The locker room was filled with tension.
“You coming out tonight?” Kev called from across the showers.
For a minute, I thought about saying yes, then April popped into my head. Maybe I could do something with her. “Nah. I’m beat. I’m calling it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I just want to cool off and drown in my own sorrows.”
“Alright.”
“Did I hear right? You’re not grabbing a beer with us?” Jake asked, coming around from the ice tub.
“Nah. Need to, uh,” I glanced around the room to see if anyone was looking, “chill.”
Jake’s brow arched. “Chill? Like bet inspired chill or have you given up?”
Taking a breath, I figured it was time to start giving some clues. And it couldn’t look made up. No matter what, it needed to be genuine for everyone. “I have someone in mind.”
Jake’s face lit up. “Seriously, same girl from before?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Been hanging out for a bit.”
“Why haven’t you said anything?”
“I have, but as per the deal, I needed time to see if it was something.” Kev was the only person who knew it was April.
I needed to ask her where we were at for telling the guys.
I had planned to do it after this weekend at her family thing.
There was no need to add to her stress. Plus, with the rules of the bet and the clubhouse, we needed to tread carefully.
“Shit, man. You must like her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“’Cause otherwise, you’d be bragging and all up in Carlos’s face. Seems more like you might be trying at this.”
Instead of replying, I just shrugged. He might be somewhat on to me. “We’re going away this weekend.”
“Isn’t Apr—” I shot Kev a glare that warned him to stop talking. He didn’t. The asshole. “Family thing this weekend?”
“Who’s family thing?” Carlos snuck up behind us.
Fuck. “Me and the woman I’m dating.” It came out so naturally, like it was the truth. Sort of.
“Shit, meeting the fam already?” Carlos’s face twisted.
“Told you not to doubt me.” I clapped him on the back.
“Hold on, you went from talking and kinda seeing someone to meeting the family in two weeks?” he asked, looking to Jake and Kev now standing next to me.
There was no way out of this conversation. So, I was going to need more than some random girl. “Sort of.”
Three sets of eyes blinked at me, waiting for more details. And saying her name, again, confirming it’s still her felt raw and exposing and I was nervous about giving to many details.
“Summer. She’s from my past and I don’t think I gave her the chance I should have.” The raw admission surprised even me.
Jake smirked, but he played along and was the first to smack me on the back. “Damn.”
“So, it’s like, legit?” Carlos’s questioned.
“Why is everyone asking me that?”
“It’s you.” Carlos scoffed.
“Look man, you bet me and after all the shitty dates, it had me thinking about it all. Then somehow, Summer was just there, a new possibility that I wasn’t sure it was before, but maybe it is now.”
Just then, April came out of the equipment room carrying a bag of stuff. My eyes drifted toward her tight-fitting Twisters shirt. I paused, realizing I’d let slip a name. Not her real name but her nickname, I hoped no one would connect the dots.
“Need help?” I called out to her.
She turned and saw all of us standing there. A flash of confusion crossed her face as she stared at all of us. Ignoring the glances from the guys, I jogged over and took the bag from her. “Shit, this is heavy. Why didn’t you ask for help?”
“Moose was busy.”
“Ask next time. Can’t have you pulling your neck again.” I shook my head at her.
“What’s with them?” she whispered out of the side of her mouth.
When I looked back, the guys were all staring after us. There was a smirk on Kev’s face.
“They’re trying to get out of me who I am dating.”
Her face formed an O. “And…did they?” She pointed to the spot where she wanted me to drop the bag. We had discussed a slow entry, something that wouldn’t set off alarm bells.
Winking, I grinned. “Not yet. But we can discuss that after this weekend.”
She swallowed hard and a blush crept across her cheeks. It was freaking adorable. “What’s your plans tonight?”
“Dinner and an ice bath,” she flatly responded.
“Your place or mine?”
“Excuse me?”
“Dating, remember. Our plan? Letting them see small moments…”
She rolled her eyes, “No one’s watching.”
I chuckled and nodded to the eyes boring in the back of my head from Carlos and Jake. I heard Carlos whisper, “What’s up with that?”
“Just being nice to her, she was hurt last week. Did you even notice? You dick.” Kev rolled his eyes. I shot Kev a thankful glance.
“Hmm.” Carlos was about to say something else but didn’t.
She sighed. “Except them. And that’s because we’re here at work.”
“And? We’re just being friendly. Hanging out.”
“And they think that’s normal?”
“They will.” For some reason, I found that even more reason to make this work. She needed to be shown how she should be treated and nothing fucking less.
“Catch you guys later?” Kev called, like a jackass, to make a point. I waved him off and dropped the bag to the ground with a thud.
“My place. You have a roomie. I’ll order dinner. Neither of us should cook in the heat. Plus, we have a big day tomorrow.”
“Okay…” She stuttered. “I should go home and change first.”
“Why bother?” I smirked. Okay, maybe I should have been a gentleman and agreed, but that wasn’t me. Besides, lending her my shirt was exactly the thing a boyfriend would do.
She scoffed, offended. “I’m not wearing my sweaty work clothes all night.”
“Who said you would be?”
She flung a towel at me. Which made me laugh. “Shower and wear my shit like last time.”
She bit her lip, as if she was contemplating. “I thought you said you didn’t want me stretching your shit out.”
“Ha. I think you heard me say I like the way you stretched it out.” She elbowed me in the ribs, catching me off guard.
“Are you always like this?”
“No idea, never had a girl—” I paused to finish the word because it somehow got stuck in my throat.
“Girlfriend? Wow, you can’t even say the word!”
“Yes, I can!” I protested.
“Can’t even say the word and people are going to believe this?” Her laugh continued down the corridor as we walked out of the building.
“It’s not funny.” I deadpanned.
“Oh, but it is.” She laughed until her eyes watered. It was good to watch her, even at my expense.
A trickle of sweat rolled down my temple.
It was our big weekend away and despite spending most of last night talking about everything and anything.
I found that with her, I wanted to learn more.
I wanted to know what her favorite books were.
Apparently, regency romance and her favorite author was Lena something-or-other.
She loved anything outdoorsy and sporty, but also had a soft side.
She loved cats and eventually wanted one, but Nora was highly allergic.
We also spent a massive amount of time talking about her family, the party, and many other things that made our fake dating seem like a real dating get to know you. It was the first time I was ever truly interested.
We fell asleep mere hours before dawn, when she went home to pack.
Now that it was time to go, my nerves had decided to flip on the emergency switch.
The problem wasn’t April or our agreement, my issue was with the family.
Not hers in particular, just the idea of it all.
I’d never been one to do the “meet the parents” thing.
My rebellious don’t give a fuck attitude when I was younger didn’t exactly have dads rooting for me to date their daughters.
Not that I blamed them, I was an asshole.
In fact, if I had a daughter, I’m pretty sure I’d be the one that would go to jail over guys like me showing up to take her out.
There was only one time I’d come close, just after I’d gotten signed with my first team, The A’s.
Things had gotten serious between my ex and me.
She started pushing for a commitment and meeting the parents was priority one for her.
My schedule at the time was problematic, which led to the “you don’t care about me or my needs” guilt trip, followed by the “baseball is the only thing you care about” tantrum.
Which pissed me off, and in my frustration, I told her she was right.
I was still a rookie, and my entire world was solely about building up the name and career that I’d busted my ass for.
I’d have sacrificed everything for it, including her, which I did.
The entire situation changed me. Every relationship after that came back to that same conversation at some point, commitment, more.
Stability. The one thing I couldn’t give.
In professional sports, stability was an ideal.
At any given moment, I could be traded and have to uproot my entire life, their life, and God forbid there were kids.
Man, that was always a sticky situation, like, it was forgotten about until it happened.
I’d hoped the lifestyle, the travel, and freedom to do what they wanted would be enough, but somehow it wasn’t.
Part of me wondered about the what if. Would there be someone who could take all the risks?
It’d be a lie if I didn’t admit the thought had crossed my mind more often lately.
My mother reminded me every Sunday morning at ten a.m. on our phone call that I was turning thirty-five this year and she wanted grandkids.
My phone pinged with the reminder it was go time. I grabbed my bag, the small gift I’d gotten her grandad, and wine for her mom.