13. Gemma
13
Gemma
T hings feel different back at the farmhouse. Maybe it is the shots or the conversation on the way home. Hell, maybe it is the bottle of whiskey we are sharing on the front porch now.
After a couple of swigs, I couldn’t even taste how bad it was. I’m not sure when I got so close to him. I have to admit it is nice feeling him so close though. Am I leaning in, or is he?
“Haven’t you been warned about me?” Brooks asks with a crooked smile.
“Yes but–” I begin. He moves even closer to me, backing me up against the wall. “I always feel so safe in your hands … even when I shouldn’t,” I breathe out.
His reply is raspy as he pushes the rogue piece of hair out of my face, “You will always be safe with me.” He pauses. “But that’s not all I want you to feel when you are in my hands.”
I feel my entire body melt with his words. Every ounce of self-control is now irretrievably lost. There is no sense in continuing to fight this pull between us. Afterall, these days of fighting against it has only brought us here.
A quiet moan escapes my lips and I feel my body arch towards him as he keeps me pinned against the wall with his muscled arms. He kisses me hard, almost painfully. Yet it still isn’t enough. I reach up and throw my arms around him. Desperate to be closer to him I clutch at his hair, mussing it instantly. My mind begins to clear and race simultaneously.
And then, I hear the sound I had no longer been expecting. The ringtone I set for Gavin years ago seems to pierce through the air at the absolute worst time. It startles me into stepping away from Brooks as if I am doing something wrong with him here on this porch.
Confusion, relief, and then anger bubble up inside of me as I fish my phone out of my purse.
“Hello?” I answer the phone.
“Hey beautiful.” Gavin’s voice slurs through the line as his face fills the screen.
“Umm hi?” The confusion is etched in my voice.
“I was thinking about you. Wanna see how much?”
The confusion is starting to shift to disbelief. Is this man really calling me because he’s horny? After ignoring me like he has?
“I haven’t heard from you since I left. In fact, you made it clear before I left that you didn’t want me anymore.” I’m trying to make this make sense.
“I was just doing you a favor baby. You needed some time without me distracting you. How did it go?”
“I what?” I stammer.
“I wanted to give you some time to stretch your wings and do what you need to do,” Gavin explains, as if he had done something heroic for me.
“Oh, hell no you don’t! Not this time!” I hear myself yell.
“Hell no I don’t what?” Bewilderment colors Gavin’s voice but I know the anger is underneath. I know he’s waiting for me to say the wrong words so he can lash out.
I see red. Suddenly every ounce of frustration, hurt, confusion, embarrassment, and anger that he had made me feel over the years begins to rise to the top and bubble over.
For the first time in years, his pretty face and puppy dog eyes don’t have power over me. Maybe it is because he is just on the phone screen instead of in front of me. Maybe something inside of me finally snapped.
Hell, maybe it is Brooks and all these new and confusing feelings he has awakened in me these last few days. But no matter what it was that triggered it, there is no going back now.
All trace of restraint gone, I let loose.
“Hell no, you don’t string me along for years and treat me like shit whenever you don’t get your way. Hell no, you don’t tell me I mean nothing to you and call me a whore because I chose to take this trip. It is for a school project for fucks sake. Hell no, you don’t ignore me for days like I never meant a damn thing to you. And lastly, hell no, you don’t dare call me after all of that because you are drunk and horny. I am worth more than that and you fucking know it.”
Gavin smirks and starts to laugh. As soon as he starts to open his mouth, I cut him off.
“No. You don’t get to talk. You’ve had plenty of chances for that and nothing but useless bullshit falls out of your mouth. I’m done with you Gavin. I should have been done a long time ago. But thanks for being extra shitty this time and making it easy for me. From now on when you are drunk and horny go find a whore at one of your parties. You’re good at that. Don’t call me again.”
“Listen here you little bitch–” Gavin starts, anger dripping from his words.
“Fuck off Gavin. Fuck all the way off. And then fuck off some more,” I say as I hang up the phone. His face disappears from the screen, and I crumble to the porch shaking.
After a minute of gathering myself, I feel eyes staring a hole in me. “What?” I ask a little too forcefully.
But where I fully expect to see a face full of mocking amusement, I see rage. Brooks looks like he’s shaking as much as I am. Surely, I’m just imagining it. He has no reason to feel anger of any sort. I’m the one wasting my life chasing after a good-for-nothing piece of shit like Gavin.
“What the fuck was that?” he seethes.
“That was Gavin. The guy I’m not dating,” I explain.
“I gathered that much. What the fuck was the way he was speaking to you?”
“He isn’t always like that.” I immediately try to reassure him. I’m officially mortified and want to smooth things over. We had been having such a good night before that phone call and now I’m sitting on the damn floor, and he looks like he’s ready to hit someone. “He’s just drunk and he gets kind of mean. And I’m not usually one to yell back and get dramatic. I’m just so tired of him and...” I look back at Brooks and stop mid-sentence.
Brooks takes an audible breath. “I don’t give a fuck what lame ass excuse he has, he should never fucking talk to you like that. No one should. I oughta hunt his ass down and knock him out for daring to treat you like a piece of ass he can call up whenever he wants.”
I don’t know what to say.
“And don’t you dare fucking apologize for putting that asshole in his place. That was hot as fuck Gemma. You’re a fucking amazing woman and he is too damn full of himself to give a shit. He doesn’t deserve you and I hope he fucking sees that now.”
Before I have a chance to respond, Brooks turns and strides toward his truck yelling “G’night” over his shoulder.