Chapter 16 Chelsea #2
I try to take a deep breath, but I can’t fill my lungs to full capacity. “My calculations actually shed some light on that, somewhat. Basically, I was able to determine there’s literally nobody in the entire world who’d be a perfect fit for me, romantically.”
He laughs.
“I’m not joking, unfortunately. My two greatest passions aren’t normally combined inside one person, let alone a woman, which means finding the man who’d be compatible with me to the extreme would be like getting struck by lightning.
Basically, I’m too weird to find anyone who’d be a perfect fit for me—someone who’d genuinely enjoy both sides of me.
I’ve met plenty of guys who pretend to be interested in me and what interests me, but in the end, it’s always pretty clear they’re just telling me what I want to hear to get into my pants. ”
Shit. Luca’s doing that thing again. Looking at me like he’s a whale and I’m Jonah.
Feeling blazing hot all of a sudden, I shift in my seat.
“It’s for the best, though. At one point, I thought I wanted a romantic relationship.
But since then, I’ve realized my career is my top priority.
I’ve realized I’d much rather be alone than tied down to a guy who takes time away from me going balls to the wall to pursue my own dreams.”
This time, a wide smile spreads across Luca’s gorgeous face.
One that’s so effusive, I have to dig my fingernails into my palms again so I won’t lean in and kiss that gorgeous mouth of his.
Not only because that’d be a massive, regrettable mistake in and of itself.
But because I’m well aware there are cameras in every classroom in the complex.
“So, are you saying you don’t want a boyfriend, period? Like, ever? Or are you saying you only want one if he totally gets you and doesn’t stand in the way of you going balls to the wall to pursue your dreams?”
I think about that for a beat. “Honestly, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a boyfriend who’d totally get me.
Not really. That’s what my analysis proved to me.
And at my age and at this early stage of my career, I don’t think it’s possible for a boyfriend not to stand in the way of me going full throttle toward my dreams. Relationships require compromise and consideration of another person’s desires and dreams, and I’m not willing to think about anyone but myself for now.
Not till I get much, much closer to where I’m hoping to end up in my career. ”
Luca looks a bit deflated, but he doesn’t say a word.
I swallow hard, feeling a bit flushed and exposed. That was honestly difficult to say while looking into Luca’s soulful, earnest brown eyes, but the truth is the truth.
I pull a deep, steadying breath into my lungs, even as it’s clear the air is rapidly escaping from Luca’s against his will. “What about you?” I manage to ask. “Have you had luck in the romance department?”
Luca takes a brief, almost indiscernible moment to recover from the deflating effects of my little speech.
But then, a mischievous expression quickly overtakes his handsome features.
“In the romance department? Hmm. I should probably double-check my spreadsheet to answer that with complete accuracy.” He mimes swiping into something, and when I bat his shoulder, he returns to me with a grin and says, “The spreadsheet confirms I’ve had exactly zero luck with romance.
You might even say the limit to my total and complete failure as a boyfriend does not exist.”
I shake my head. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s the God’s truth.”
I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I’m sure my face shows it. “You’re serious?”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“Because …” I’ve seen too many girls to count featured on your social media accounts, whenever I’ve stalked you in the past. Not to mention, you’re easily the most charming, charismatic, hottest man I’ve met in my life. “Because you’re such a natural flirt.”
Luca twist his luscious lips. “Flirting is easy. Romance, not so much. And your question was about actual romance, right?” When I nod, his eyebrows cinch together, like he’s considering his next words carefully.
“To be perfectly honest, Chelsea, I’ve never really been able to feel …
a certain something that was expected of me in my attempts at actual romance—a certain spark, I guess.
No matter how hard I’ve tried to feel it in my relationships, it’s just never been there with any of my girlfriends.
” He runs a hand through his dark mop of hair and murmurs, “Man, I’ve never told anyone that before.
It makes me sound really weird when I say it out loud. ”
I shake my head slowly and touch Luca’s forearm to reassure him. I find every version of Luca Maguire irresistibly magnetic, but Vulnerable Luca is easily in my top two favorites.
“Have you tried dating men, maybe?” I ask softly. “That’s not a joke, Luca.”
He rolls his eyes so hard, I’m surprised they’re not getting stuck in his sockets.
“I’m straight, Chelsea. I’m not talking about my body.
It works just fine, thank you very much.
You asked me about romance, remember? And to me, that’s got to do with feelings and emotions.
What’s going on in my heart, not my dick.
The truth is that feeling something beyond sexual attraction has been really hard for me, ever since …
” He shifts in his chair. “For as long as I can remember.”
I’m reeling. Freaking out. That’s been my experience, too.
In fact, every word out of Luca’s mouth could have been spoken by me.
Unfortunately, I’m straight, too. I wish I weren’t, given the world of amazing people.
And yet, despite my innate sexual wiring, I simply haven’t been able connect on a deep, emotional level with men.
I can’t feel what’s required and expected of a girlfriend.
That’s what I’ve come to find out. That’s what my spreadsheet told me, ultimately.
And I haven’t been able to figure out why.
“We should probably get back to work,” I squeak out.
In truth, I want to ask Luca a million questions about his romantic pursuits and sexual exploits over the years, and I want to do that right after and in between fucking the living hell out of him.
But even more than all that, I need to get this man through the round of cuts that’s coming our way in a matter of days.
Moriarty’s still holding out, thankfully for Luca, but there are whispers about him signing a deal any day now.
Which means Luca needs to get himself positioned as the odds-on favorite as Moriarty’s backup, or he won’t make it to our first preseason game against the Admirals in mere days.
“No, let’s talk a bit more,” Luca coos. “I like getting to know you as a person outside of you being my coach.”
Déjà vu washes over me. During our first encounter years ago, I’m almost positive Luca said something along those same lines during our magical time together at the ice cream parlor.
I like getting to know you as a person, Chelsea, not just as a world-class mathlete.
He was making a joke back then, but I don’t think he’s joking now.
My heart hammering, I glance at the circular clock on the wall behind Luca’s head and panic when I see we’re running out of valuable time before curfew. “Maybe another time,” I gasp out. “Right now, I need to show you the personalized playbook I’ve started for you.”