Chapter 9
Sam
The crack of gunfire echoed across the valley as I emptied another magazine. Reload. Breathe. Fire.
I wasn't thinking about her.
Wasn't thinking about the fear in her eyes when I'd asked her to choose. The way her voice had broken when she said she needed to go back.
The way I'd let her leave without fighting for her.
"Jesus Christ, Sam."
Neil stood at the edge of my property, hands in his pockets, watching me destroy paper targets like they'd personally wronged me.
"What?" I chambered another round.
"You're going to shoot a hole through the mountain."
"Not your problem." I raised the rifle.
Neil crossed the distance and grabbed the barrel, forcing it down. "It is when you've been out here for six hours. When Kevin said he saw you free-soloing at midnight. When Shane found you passed out drunk yesterday."
I yanked the rifle away. "I'm handling it."
"You're destroying yourself."
"Same thing."
Neil followed me as I stalked toward the cabin. "We need to talk about her."
"No, we don't."
"Sam—"
I spun on him, and whatever he saw in my face made him stop. "What do you want me to say? That I told her I loved her and she left anyway? That I begged her to stay and she chose a helicopter over me? That I finally put myself out there and she still walked away?"
My voice had risen to a shout.
"I gave her everything. Showed her who she could be. Made her mine. Told her I loved her. And when I asked her to prove it—to stay—she couldn't do it."
"Did you really give her everything?" Neil's voice was quiet. "Or did you give her an ultimatum?"
I froze. "What?"
"You told her you loved her. Good. But you also told her she had three hours to throw away her entire life or lose you forever. That's not love. That's a test."
"I had to know if she'd choose me."
"In three hours? While she was still reeling from almost dying?
While she had no idea if what you were offering was real or just adrenaline?
" Neils eyes were sad. "You told her you loved her, but you didn't give her time to figure out what that meant.
You made her choose between you and everything she'd ever known, and you gave her no room to be scared. "
The words landed like punches.
"What was I supposed to do? Wait around while she convinced herself we were just a fling?"
"You were supposed to be patient. You were supposed to tell her you loved her and that you'd wait while she figured out how to choose you properly. You were supposed to fight for her by giving her space to fight for herself first."
"That's not—"
"You were terrified she'd leave," Neil continued, relentless. "So terrified that you set up a test you knew she might fail. So you could walk away first. So you could control the rejection."
I wanted to argue. Wanted to tell him he was wrong.
But he wasn't.
I'd told Jess I loved her. But I'd made that love conditional on her being brave enough to burn her entire life down in three hours.
I'd asked her to prove she loved me by taking a leap I wasn't willing to take myself—the leap of faith, of patience, of trusting that love was enough without immediate proof.
"I fucked up," I said quietly.
"Spectacularly." Neil's expression softened. "But you get one more chance. Question is: are you brave enough to take it?"
"How?"
"By going to her. By telling her you were wrong about the timeline. That you love her—still love her—and you'll wait while she figures out how to save herself. That she doesn't have to choose between her life and you because you're strong enough to compromise."
"What if she tells me to fuck off?"
"Then you'll survive. But at least you'll have actually fought for her instead of just testing her." He started toward his truck. "Brothers' meeting tomorrow night. Be there."
He left me standing there with my rifle and my rage and the slowly dawning realization of what I'd done.