Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
Izzy
I’ve felt restless since my fake date last night with Jaxon. The kind of restless that is usually taken care of by a spouse or significant other. At the very least a medical-grade silicone toy.
Unfortunately for me, I have none of those. And my fingers haven’t ever done jack shit for me.
So, instead of sleeping last night, I tossed. And I turned. And then I did it all again.
“Izzy?” Becca says. “Can you move? I, too, would like some coffee.”
I blink, realizing I’m standing directly in front of our coffee pot, empty mug in hand. “Oh, um, just a second,” I say, grabbing the carafe. Once my mug is full, I open the fridge, adding a splash of milk. No matter how old I get, I just can’t seem to drink black coffee. It’s just too bitter.
As soon as I sit down to start sending the much-needed caffeine into my bloodstream, my phone buzzes next to me.
Jaxon
Thanks for last night. I had a really great time.
Me
I did too, surprisingly.
Jaxon
You don’t have to be so nice to me. I already know you’re my number one fan.
I sigh. I'm not sure what exactly it says about me if I can forgive, forget, and move on from something that caused me so much pain so quickly, but there's something about this friendship with Jaxon that just feels right.
“Is that Jaxon?” Becca asks.
“Yeah,” I say, dropping my phone down. I walk to the fridge, staring inside it blankly before deciding there’s nothing I want to eat and sitting down.
I grab my phone. Look at the screen. And then set it back before standing, opening up the freezer this time, and scanning.
“What…what is going on here?” Becca asks, motioning with her hand at me.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
A line forms between Becca’s eyebrows as she frowns. “You’re being weird.”
“I’m always weird,” I say on a huff. Slumping into my seat.
“Yeah, but usually it’s more on the quirky side of the weird spectrum rather than this strange about to start breeding spiders vibe you’ve got going on.”
“Did I tell you I met a woman once who has over a hundred spiders as pets?” I ask.
“Yes. I remain haunted by that information,” Becca replies, shaking her shoulders as if shivering.
I sip my coffee, forcing myself to calm the fuck down.
Honestly, it’s not working. I feel jittery and uncomfortable.
“Okay, you’ve got to tell me what it is,” Becca says, reaching out and holding my knee down to keep it from bouncing.
I shake my head. “I’m just on edge.”
“On edge?”
“Yeah. That fake date with Jaxon last night is really fucking with me. Like, I can’t stop thinking about the way his throat moved when he swallowed, which is weird. And I couldn’t sleep last night, and I’m just…”
“Horny?” Becca whispers.
“What?! No! I’m not horny!” I say defiantly.
“It kinda sounds like it though.”
“It most certainly doesn’t. If I were horny, I’d feel…” I trail off, unable to think of the last time I would’ve defined myself as such. A low libido or whatever my issue is definitely has its perks if this is what it feels like to be horny.
“Hot? Bothered? Restless?” She looks between me and the fridge as she says the last one like it proves her point.
And shit, maybe it does.
“Oh my God,” I say, dropping my head into my hands. “Do you think I’m turned on by Jaxon fucking Reid?”
“I mean, you and every other person in the world who is attracted to men, yeah. I don’t think you need to make it a thing.”
“I’m not making it a thing.”
“It seems like you are.”
“Are you turned on by him?” I ask, lifting my face just enough to glare at her.
“I recognize the appeal.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “What the fuck am I going to do about this? I can’t keep fake dating the guy if this is going to happen every time!”
“Or, and hear me out, what if you took him up on the other thing.”
My eyes lock on hers, certain she’s not suggesting what she is. “Excuse you?”
Becca shrugs, and I’ve never considered how difficult it would be to cut my roommate, business partner, and best friend from my life until now.
“No.”
She shrugs again. Another fucking shrug. As if my entire world wasn’t just turned on its side, flattened, and boiled.
“Okay,” she says as if she doesn’t care what I decide.
“Becca! You cannot honestly be suggesting I start having sex with Jaxon Reid,” I demand.
“Well, to be clear, I’m more suggesting you have Jaxon Steele give you a few good O’s, but yeah. I am.” She crosses her arms across her almost nonexistent chest, giving me her best I’m serious look.
I gape at her.
“That’s a terrible idea,” I say when I can finally form words again.
She nods like she’s going to agree but then says, “Except, is it?”
I’m pretty sure my eyes are bulging as I exclaim, “Yes! It is!”
“Okay,” Becca says, heading toward her room, “but I bet he’d be one hell of a spice coach.”
At just that moment, my phone vibrates again. Glad to have an excuse not to think about the idea Becca just put in my head, I open my phone and click into my messages app.
Jaxon
I know this is crazy, but can I please come by your house this week and play my guitar? I swear the lyrics only flow these days when I’m around you.
Me
That can’t be true.
Jaxon
That’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself as well, but you saw how quickly they came to me last night.
That’s the most I’ve written at one time in more than a year.
And the song for the Lupus Foundation is due so soon. I can’t let them down.
Please?
Me
Fine. It’ll help our fake-dating ruse anyway.
Jaxon
You’re the best.