Chapter 46
Chapter forty-six
Izzy
There is a fine line between drunk bridesmaid and just-tipsy-enough-to-give-a-hilarious-speech bridesmaid. Lila, the asshole who doesn’t have to give a speech, is falling on the drunk side of the line. Luckily, she has JT to catch her.
Based on the sporadic, light chuckles my speech elicited, I fear I may have been too far on the other side. Actually, you know what? My speech was hilarious. These people just need to work on their humor.
Too tired to dance anymore, I make my way to my seat. I’ve been on the dance floor for almost two hours straight, alternating between ridiculously dancing with Bryn and Lila to fast songs and casually dancing with a few of Jameson’s golf friends during the slow ones.
I’ve met so many new people at this thing that I’m starting to realize maybe I actually am a people person. I’d still rather curl up on the couch with a book than go to almost any social event, but maybe I’m not as awkward as I’ve always felt.
“So, Iz,” my cousin says as he sits next to me at the now-empty head table, “I heard a rumor you were dating Jaxon Steele.”
He says it with a smirk that’s douchey enough for me to know he doesn’t believe it. To be fair to my cousin Dale, he isn’t from Wild Bluffs, and as far as I know, he’s unaware of the fact that Jaxon Steele is actually Jaxon Reid, my best friend growing up.
I shrug. “I heard a rumor that your last girlfriend broke up with you because you sleep with a picture of your mom on your nightstand. Not even you and your mom, just your mom,” I say. “But seeing as I haven’t talked to you in almost three years, I wasn’t going to lead with that.”
I’m not usually a dick, but I’m done with being walked over by people just for the sake of keeping the peace.
Dale chuckles. “Put your claws away, Izzy. I was just kidding.”
There is nothing he could’ve said that would make me want to scratch his eyes out more.
“The aunts were talking earlier about how sad you must be—alone at your little sister’s wedding—and Aunt Jen mentioned you were dating Jaxon Steele. I have questions.”
Honestly, it’s to be expected. My mom is the middle of five sisters, and when they all get together, they survive solely off the family tea that’s spilled. It was the reason I wanted a date to this thing in the first place.
I toss back the champagne that has been sitting in front of me half-finished since the toasts.
“Ask away,” I say.
“So are you actually dating Jaxon Steele?” Dale asks, and I groan inwardly as I drink the rest of Kelsey’s champagne from her spot next to mine.
I lift my shoulders as I nod. “Yep.”
Dale’s eyes widen. “Really? Like the Jaxon Steele? I thought Aunt Jen just didn’t know that there was a famous Jaxon Steele or was getting your boyfriend’s name wrong or something.”
“Nope,” I say, popping the “p.”
My gaze strays to Bryn and Jameson as they dance in each other’s arms. Her face is turned up toward him, saying something that is clearly amusing him. His smile isn’t huge, but it’s so genuine it makes my heart tighten.
“How…how did you end up dating Jaxon Steele?” Dale asks once he picks his jaw up off the floor. I don’t miss the way he emphasizes the word “you” like it’s completely believable that Bryn would be marrying a professional golfer, but me dating a famous musician? Inconceivable.
“Met in a bar,” I say, sticking as close to the vaguest version of the truth possible as I can. It’s not technically accurate, since I have no idea when I met Jaxon. Sometime before my third birthday party, when he brought me chalk and I kissed him in thanks.
“No shit?” Dale asks. “And you just started…dating? Are you sure he knew you were dating? Not just…ya know?” He raises his eyebrows twice as he says the last part.
Dale isn’t my favorite cousin. He’s fine.
Considering we were the closest in age of all twelve of the cousins growing up, you’d think we’d be better friends, but we never got along well.
He whined a lot the few times a year our families would get together, and if he wasn’t causing some scene or another, he tended to be meaner than I felt necessary.
Never shared his toys and whatnot. My mom said it was because he’s an only child, but now that I’m an adult, I’m pretty sure it’s because he was mirroring his dad’s behavior.
Or maybe he’s just an asshole.
“Are you asking me about my sex life, Dale?” I ask.
He looks horrified at the thought. “No.”
“Ah, well, that’s a shame. It’s the best part of the entire Jaxon Steele tale.”
“So, you aren’t dating, then?”
“He came to dinner at my parents’ house, Dale. Does that answer your question? He didn’t write me a note with checkboxes to mark asking if I’d be his girlfriend, but he came to dinner with my family, and I’ve flown with him out to his place in Nashville if that’s what you’re looking for.”
“Damn,” he replies. “You’re so lucky to be dating Jaxon Steele.”
I stand up, slapping my palms down on the table and leaning over just slightly so I’m looming over him. “You know what, Dale? Jaxon Steele is lucky to be dating me, mmk?”
I hear a slow clap behind me, and I pull my gaze away from Dale’s shocked one, my heart pounding.
Is that Jaxon? Did he—
Jameson and Bryn stand behind me, matching smiles on their faces.
“I couldn’t agree more,” Bryn says. “Jaxon is lucky to be dating you. Oh, and, Dale, you’re in my seat, so kindly fuck right off.”
I laugh, quickly realizing I need to pee at the extra pressure it puts on my bladder.
I head to the bathroom, locking myself in one of the fancy toilet stalls.
Wild Bluffs Country Club does not skimp on its bathrooms. The stalls are fully enclosed rooms, complete with large, dark wood doors.
Knowing I need to talk to Jaxon, to tell him how much I miss him, I hold the button on my phone, turning it on for the first time since my hair and makeup were finished over twelve hours earlier.
I tap into my messages app, impatiently trying to refresh it with no success. I don’t have any new texts. Which is fine. Exactly what I was expecting. Everyone I know is here. And Jaxon is busy.
I find myself in my internet browser, searching for the HMAs.
A few short clips pop up, and I watch one, chuckling a little as Jaxon makes a joke about one of his long-time friends in the industry.
I watch it a few times before finally pausing it just as Jaxon’s smile hits its apex, the wide grin breaking open something inside me.
I miss him. I wish he was here. Not to be my fake date, not to keep my family off my back, but just to share the night with.
“Izzy?” Becca’s voice barely makes its way to me through the thick door.
“Just a second,” I say, using a couple of squares of toilet paper to wipe my eyes, not even sure when the tears started leaking down my face.
I turn my phone off and give the skirt of my dress a hard pull on the sides, begging it to cover more of my legs, before forcing a smile on my face and walking out the door.
“You okay?” Becca asks.
“Yeah,” I say as I slide past her to wash my hands.
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror, and she offers me a reassuring smile.
“Okay, I just had this thing with Dale and then thought Jaxon had decided to surprise me—you know the kind of thing you’d see in a rom-com movie, but obviously, he didn’t. Not that he should’ve. This is real life and he is literally live on stage right now.”
I dab at a smear of mascara under my eye. “Oh, and one of the golfers’ girlfriends told me I look ‘super relatable,’ which I’ve decided to take as a compliment, even though she definitely didn’t mean it that way.”
“Could’ve been worse,” Becca says. “I’ve been stuck outside, pretending to be interested in the social media accounts of all the golfer bros’ girlfriends. I bet I know which one made the relatable comment, too.” She pauses, and I turn around to face her.
“Ness?” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Ness,” she says, her grin widening.
“I don’t understand what Scottie Nyram—of all people—sees in her. That man is one win short of a Career Grand Slam. He could have anyone.”
Becca raises her eyebrow. “Really? You don’t see what he sees in her?”
“Okay, fine. She’s gorgeous and, if she can be believed, is the top nutritionist in the state of Texas.”
“Terrible personality though,” Becca agrees.
“Why were you talking to them?” I ask as we walk back to the reception.
“Oh, just casually avoiding someone,” Becca says with a laugh.
“Becca! You really are avoiding someone. Who? Conrad? He said he called you a floozy.”
“Shhh. Yes. Conrad, okay? I—”
She’s cut off by the sound of Janice, the gossip queen of Wild Bluff, attempting to whisper. “It’s Matt’s now. Just cancelled the sale on Monday and everything. I’ve heard it from both Matt and…”
I can’t hear what she says next, but by the wide-eyed look Becca is giving me, we’ve both come to the same conclusion—she’s talking about Jaxon’s dad’s farm.
“…busy recording for the next few months, so he wanted to make sure everything was finalized since he won’t be back...”
A loud buzzing starts in my ears, and I’m vaguely aware of Becca talking to me.
My breath is gone.
My chest isn’t aching. It’s destroyed—blown into tiny fragments.
I smile and nod, not at all sure what I’m agreeing to or with, but it seems to pacify her.
Two hours later, as the wedding comes to a close, I smile and wave as Bryn and Jameson drive the quarter of a mile to their honeymoon suite in a decked-out golf cart.
Despite the cramping in my cheeks and the gaping hole in the center of my heart, I laugh at all the right times.
I gush with my mom about how perfect the night was.
I joke with my dad about his dance moves during the father-daughter dance.
It’s not until I head to the cottage Jameson and Bryn rented out for the wedding party, Becca’s arm looped through my own, that I let the tears flow, wave after wave, as if my body is trying to fill the hole in my soul with them.
“Oh, Iz,” Kelsey says as I walk in and find her and Carter sitting on the couch.
She pulls me into her arms, hugging me tightly to her petite frame.
And I fall apart.
Again.