Chapter 2 #3
Shame burned my gut as he leveled his electric blue eyes on me.
The horrified and disappointed way he looked at me stuck the knife in deeper.
The even more horrified look on my mother’s face felt like a shower of acid.
Obviously, I didn’t mean it. I just felt utterly betrayed and hurt, and in that instant I had wanted him to hurt just like I was.
Still, I never should have said it. Dad was not my sire, but he definitely was my father, too.
And I loved him. But all of this was more than I could handle.
Without a word, I turned back and all but ran down the stairs. Thankfully, the light weight of my suitcase didn’t impede my escape.
“Let me handle it,” my mother’s voice said behind me.
I all but stormed out of the house, and half-walked, half-ran towards the landing pad where my personal shuttle awaited.
“Zhara! Wait!” my mother called out behind me.
I didn’t want to stop. Anger and shame raged within me in equal measure. I didn’t want to lash out anymore, but I also feared that I would break down and start crying any minute, which felt even worse.
With much reluctance, I slowed down, allowing my mother to catch up to me. To my surprise, she didn’t make me stop to face her before starting to berate me. Instead, she slipped her hand into mine, gave it a gentle squeeze, and quietly led me at a leisurely stroll to the shuttle.
My throat constricted. Amalia Praghan wasn’t just my mother, in many ways, she was my best friend.
With that incredible maternal instinct of hers, she understood that I needed a moment to cool down and gather myself before having that much-needed discussion.
But the way she took my hand—and especially that gentle squeeze—made me feel supported more than any word could have ever achieved.
She opened the door to the four-people shuttle, let me set my suitcase in the small area at the back for cargo, then made me sit in one of the two passenger seats. She settled next to me then took my hand, gently caressing its back with her thumb.
We remained silent for a few moments. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just one more little reprieve that I welcomed.
“You have every right to be angry,” Mother finally said. “That last-minute change of plan is cruel to you, although that’s not his intention. But what you said, sweetie, that was too much. You broke his heart. You know how much Khel adores you.”
I snorted with disgust, my anger coming back with a vengeance, but this time with a hint of betrayal.
“Of course, you would say that. Funny how you worry about me breaking his heart, but not about him breaking mine,” I said bitterly.
She gave me a ‘Don’t be ridiculous’ look, although she continued to speak in a reasonable tone.
“Your Dad only wants to protect you—”
“ENOUGH!” I snapped, ripping my hand out of her grip before jumping to my feet.
Hands fisted on each side of my body, I glared at my mother, making no effort to hide how hurt I felt by her response.
“I’m so sick and tired of men talking about how they want to protect us. How can you of all people defend this? How can you side with him trying to put me in shackles?”
She sighed and shook her head before gently patting the seat I had just gotten out of.
“Sit down, sweetheart. I’m not siding with him. In truth, I warned him that this would horribly backfire. I’ve been in your shoes more than once, so I fully understand how you’re feeling. Please, sit down.”
Clenching my teeth, I complied. She caressed my shoulder in a soothing fashion. It took every ounce of my willpower not to pull away from her touch. It wasn’t that I didn’t want that comfort, but I just felt angry at the world.
“Why can’t the males in my life respect me and my intelligence?
” I asked, the hurt I felt audible in my voice.
“They value my opinion and often adopt my suggestions when it comes to battle and mission strategy. But when it comes to my personal life, all of a sudden I’m too stupid to think on my own? ”
“No, my love. It’s not that at all. The reality is that none of it is about you. It’s all about them. Your fathers and brothers love you. Actually, it’s more like they worship you. If you weren’t my daughter, I’d probably be jealous about how much every single one of them is crazy about you.”
“Then they suck at showing it,” I grumbled, even though her words did slightly soothe some of the pain. I didn’t doubt that they loved me, but they were suffocating me.
She smiled. “I won’t challenge that part. They need to feel like they’ve done everything in their power to protect you because men don’t trust men. Khel, Vahl, and Tharek also happen to be extremely territorial. Before they allow another alpha to join the pack, he needs to prove his worth to them.”
“But it’s not about them!” I exclaimed, annoyed. “They’re wrecking my life because of their own issues.”
“You and I know it’s not about them, but that’s how their brains are wired.
To them, they’re doing right by you and honoring you.
This interference is their way of screaming to the world that you’re precious, and that they will all stand and fight for you.
If they didn’t take the lead, show up ahead for you, it would be like saying that they didn’t care, that you don’t matter. ”
“Dad, Uncle Ghan, and the others wouldn’t do this to my brothers. And my brothers wouldn’t do it to each other either. And yet they don’t love each other any less,” I challenged.