Chapter 11 #3
As we walked under the soothing shadows of the ryspak trees, their sweet scent permeating the early afternoon, I couldn’t help picturing her running around as a child being chased by her brothers in a wild game of tag or hide and seek.
“How do your brothers feel about me staying at your house for the next short while?” I suddenly asked.
Zhara shrugged. “They’re totally fine with it. In a way, their overprotective side may even be relieved so that they can be nearby if needed—not that they think it will be. But Tharek might act up a bit.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Because he’s jealous,” she replied in a self-evident manner with a hint of discouragement. “He believes that you are taking Vahl and me from him.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I exclaimed, even though it didn’t really surprise me.
“I know. And deep down, he knows it as well. But emotions have a mind of their own. In truth, he both resents and loves you,” she added pensively.
My brow shot up. “How so?”
“You saved us,” she replied, looking at me as if I’d said something silly.
“Right,” I replied, feeling a little stupid.
“But he struggles to find his place among us,” she continued, a slight frown creasing the chevron-shaped ridges of her crihnin.
“He hates that he is too young to join the Sentinels with us. Now that we’re all intensively training, he feels even more isolated.
Technically, Rhad and the Dherven twins shouldn’t be with us as they are one year younger than the eighteen-year minimum age requirement.
But with the Great War looming, and in light of their incredible maturity, the Sentinels are giving them and most of the other seventeen-year-old Titans a pass. ”
I nodded pensively. “Yeah, I can totally see that. But I do not worry about it. He and I will be friends. Anyone who loves you is a friend of mine.”
She beamed at me and pressed herself against my side. I wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her even more tightly against me before kissing her temple. By the Ancestors, I was crazy about her.
“How are you feeling?” she asked with a slightly concerned expression.
“Aside from my stomach still being a little overly full, I’m feeling okay.
I’m just annoyed and itching to get back to action,” I said with frustration.
“I hate feeling weak and tiring so easily. I cannot recall a single day where I wasn’t training, performing in some sort of physical activity, or taking part in some high-intensity sport. ”
She gently caressed my back with her hand wrapped around me.
“You’ll be whole again very soon. All your organs are healed.
You just need to rebuild the strength in your muscles.
Focusing on rebuilding muscle mass is one thing—and I will do a lot of that for you, which is why you need to eat a lot.
But I cannot wave a magic wand for your heart.
You need to do cardio. And for your breathing, you need to work your diaphragm and intercostal muscles.
So that means reasonable, but frequent visits to the holodeck.
At least, I can help shorten the rest time between each session so you can get back to your old self even faster. ”
“Fine,” I grumbled.
“But do not neglect your other training for the Sentinels,” she warned. “Because as soon as your health is back, you will return to the barracks.”
That struck a nerve. An uncomfortable silence followed that comment. Zhara stole a few glances my way, as if trying to assess how I felt about it.
“Right…” I said at last, not knowing how else to respond.
She nervously stuck a loose strand of her short hairs behind her ears—which were similar to Veredians’ and Braxians’ instead of simply raised bumps like Xelixians had.
“Alternatively, you could stay here,” she said carefully.
My heart leapt. “I doubt your parents would agree to that.”
“Maybe,” she replied in a non-committal fashion. “They would keep me here while also providing us with plenty of privacy.”
I stopped walking and turned to face her fully. She swallowed hard, her eyes flicking between mine.
“You want us to live together?” I asked.
“No!” she exclaimed a little too quickly.
That stung. She flinched at whatever expression I failed to hide.
“Well, yes and no,” she amended with a nervous laugh. “If you moved here, we would be under the same roof, but I would still sleep in my own room.”
I blinked, baffled by her suggestion.
“Why would we do that?” I asked. “If we’re not really going to live together, wouldn’t it make more sense to actually live separately instead of this strange in-between?”
Her shoulders slouched, and she heaved loudly.
“I wish we had a chance to date normally first,” she said with a strange mix of frustration and guilt. “I don’t want us to rush things. Before you arrived, I thought I had it all figured out in my head. But now…”
“But now?” I insisted when her voice trailed off.
“Now, you’re here, and I don’t want to wait.
I almost lost you. You literally died, and we almost didn’t bring you back,” Zhara said with a haunted look.
“Every fiber of my being screams for me to seize the day, seize the moment. Everything about you feels right, feels like home. Leaving you at the hospital every night was the hardest thing I had to do. In fact, I slept there a couple of times. But moving in with someone you’ve never even had a single normal date with is crazy.
You must think I’m stupid,” she added with a sheepish expression.
“Of course not,” I said forcefully before cupping her cheeks.
“Everything you’re feeling is not only valid but further proof that you’re not an airhead.
You are weighing the pros and cons and trying to make the most responsible and wise decision for yourself and our relationship going forward.
Siona went through the exact same thing. ”
“Right,” Zhara said, relief audible in her voice as she leaned into me. “I thought a lot about her situation and wondered how I would have handled moving light years away from my family and everyone I know to join a species that actually hates my own.”
I let go of her face and wrapped my arms around her slender body, reveling in the feel of her.
“She was terrified for a plethora of reasons, but it all worked out perfectly because she was exactly where Fate intended for her to be and with her soulmate. Zerien would do absolutely anything for her, just like I would do anything for you,” I added softly.
“You literally died for me, so yeah, I don’t question it, which further upended some of my original rationalization of what we should do,” she replied, her inner conflict on full display on her beautiful features.
“Zhara, I waited my entire life for you. We will do whatever makes you comfortable,” I said gently. “Whether we live in separate homes, a shared roof but different bedrooms, or truly live together, it’s all the same to me. All that matters is that I finally get to be with you.”
“But you do have a preference, right?” my mate insisted.
“Of course,” I replied with a shrug. “I want to live with you, but only when you’re ready.”
“And my parents?” she challenged.
I waved a dismissive hand while my other arm around her tightened possessively.
“In the greater scheme of things, their opinion doesn’t matter,” I said firmly.
“Obviously, I want to be respectful and considerate towards them. But at the end of the day, this is our life. You and I have to do what’s right for us, not what makes others more comfortable.
Zerien and Siona never would have been together if he gave in to the pressure of his people who wanted him to marry one of their own instead of an off-worlder.
Today, the Sarenian population all but worships her.
You should have seen how many pledged their loyalty to her on her wedding day. ”
She nodded slowly, her eyes flicking from side to side as she reflected furiously on my words.
“While I know you have your own savings, I have more money than I will ever need. So when you are ready, we can rent an apartment or buy a home,” I suggested.
“Or we can build our home,” she countered.
I stiffened and gave her a surprise look. “Build?” I echoed.
She nodded, her gaze locked with mine, then licked her lips nervously as if preparing to take the plunge on something she wasn’t certain how I would respond to.
“We have a huge piece of land,” she explained carefully.
“My parents said that each of us could build a home on a section of the lot. It would almost be like your Braxian compounds except without the protective walls. As you can see, our land spreads over a few acres, so we would still have plenty of privacy.”
Her spine steadily stiffened as she spoke, her tension almost palpable as she awaited my response.
“That’s a fantastic idea!” I said with a smile.
“Really?!” Zhara exclaimed with an air of disbelief.
“Of course. That sounds like a great plan. If we had moved to Braxia instead, we would have looked at a similar scenario. And I’m sure your parents will love having you nearby, if only to keep me in check,” I added with a grin.
She squealed and gave me a bone-crushing hug. I chuckled and captured her lips in a tender kiss. My blood immediately started boiling, and I forced myself to release her.
“Okay. Obviously, there’s no rush. But we can start looking around for this spot we would prefer to build on. And until then, we can play it by ear,” she said.
“Sounds good,” I replied.
We continued walking for a short while longer, but I sadly quickly started feeling winded. I fucking hated how weak and flimsy I’d become.
“Stop pouting, you big baby,” Zhara teased as we made our way back to the house.
“You’re doing great. Honestly, my father was less roasted than you were, and he took far longer to recover than you did.
It also didn’t hurt that we learned from his case how to handle a situation like this.
So no complaining allowed from you. And that gives me an excuse to put my hands on you for some healing. ”