36
Aidan
Letting out a contented sigh, I watch tendrils of steam rise from the piping hot cup of coffee I made just before coming down into the bookstore for my first official day as Sunflower Books’s new part-time and summer bookseller.
Charlotte made me do the paperwork and everything.
She insisted and said, “Aidan, it’s not legal for me to pay you in just books and coffee. I have to pay you in money.”
“But what if I just end up buying books from you?” I asked.
“It’s your money.” She shrugged. “I don’t care what you do with it,” she replied and pointed to the tax-forms. “I still have to do things legally. You said you wanted to be here this summer and beyond, well, this is how you can do that.”
Grinning, I inquired, “So does this mean I’m fucking my boss?”
She laughed. “Until you finish those forms, you’re technically not employed. So finish those forms and then you can fuck your boss.”
I finished those forms in record time and then proceeded to pin Charlotte against a door.
Respectfully, of course.
That was last week. It took a few days to get me on the employee rotation. But I’m working in the bookstore. I’m spending an entire summer surrounded by books and away from teens. It’s a dream come true.
Charlotte is meeting with Mayor Harrington to iron out some details about the Summerfest this weekend. Although I get the feeling there might also be some last-minute discussion about the Douglass County Open Comment meeting tonight.
Anxiety has been running high through the town today.
Charlotte and I did not sleep well last night, and neither of us were in the mood to distract ourselves with reading or some sex.
Nicole knocked over a full carafe of coffee this morning when I went to grab lattes at Triple C.
The Lisas were in a corner booth at the café, stress knitting.
I spied Johnny pacing in his pizzeria while Georgie talked animatedly to him.
“If only I could be like you,” I mutter to Lloyd, who is lounging in the window, curled up on Thelma’s bed.
The ancient cat is reclined on the counter, her fluffy tail swaying back and forth as she studies me with her fierce green eyes.
“Or like you,” I say as I scratch the top of her head.
She closes her eyes and leans into my touch, purring.
The bell above the door twinkles, and I look up to see my father walking in. He’s dressed impeccably in his typical day-to-day uniform, a navy-blue suit with his hair slicked back. He’s carrying two coffee cups.
Lloyd eyes my father and bounces down from the window, investigating his pant legs. Thelma rises with a great arch in her back and lets out a loud meow. Although I can’t tell if she’s welcoming him or warning me.
“Uh, hi, Dan,” I say with a dry throat. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
He strides over to the counter and sets the coffee cups down. He kneels and holds out his hand for my dog to sniff. “Hey buddy,” he murmurs, and part of me is surprised by his gentleness. I never had dogs growing up. Dan and Mags were always too busy and didn’t want to “complicate our lives”.
“Lloyd likes being picked up. Although this one,” I say while running a hand over Thelma’s back, “will get jealous and insist that you pick up her too.”
“Luckily they are both small,” Dan remarks, scooping up my dog, who licks at his chin. Thelma sneezes once and lets out another meow.
I appease her by scratching her at the base of her tail. “I wasn’t expecting you. Everything ok?”
“I wanted to wish you well on your first day here. Your mother told me that you’re starting today.” He nods to the cups. “I figured it wouldn’t hurt to bring you a maple cinnamon latte, although I see you’re already covered in the caffeine department.”
I scoff. “I never turn down coffee. Remember, I inherited your addiction to caffeine along with your eyes and bone structure.” I pick up the latte, and the corner of my mouth turns up.
Did Xander talk to him about increasing friendship points like in Stardew Valley?
“Thanks, I need this. I didn’t sleep well last night. ”
“Nervous about starting here and all?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s a lot of work keeping these two in line.” I gesture toward the two fluffy animals. Thelma has moved on from my attention and is now curled up on another bed on the counter. “Plus, there’s a bookstore ghost to deal with.”
Dan’s brows knit. “Uh, a bookstore ghost?”
I nod. “Charlotte calls him Jimmy. She thinks he’s the ghost of her father coming back to hang out in the bookstore.
It only showed up after he died. He’s very fond of flinging books at people.
We call them Jimmy’s Recommendations. Last week he threw Love is a War Song by Danica Nava at me.
” I watch him to see if he’s annoyed or tired of my talking.
Something tingles in my spine. I don’t exactly know why I’m talking so much.
Maybe it’s because I’m nervous. Dan is here, I have to make an important speech tonight, and today is my first day at a new job.
“It was so good that I read it in one day.”
Dan nods, a weak smile spreading across his face.
“I guess Jimmy has some good recommendations.” He eyes a nearby display of the picks by the ghosts.
“So, uh, I didn’t wish you well on your first day of teaching all those years ago.
Or every year after that,” he remarks, his face transitions to a grimace.
“I’m sorry about that, and for all the times I criticized you for not following in my footsteps. ”
Something inside of my chest cracks. He’s apologized before, but this one is hitting differently. My eyes water and I wipe them, still feeling a little anxious that he might find fault in me crying. “I appreciate that. You can always wish me well in the next school year.”
A corner of his mouth turns upward. “That is true. I’m sure I could think of several ways to make up for it.”
I lift the paper cup. “Bringing me coffee sure helps!”
“Is that so?” Dan eyes me. “Seems too easy.”
I shrug. “It worked with Charlotte. Except with tea. I brought her tea.”
The slight smile widens. He gestures in a way that refers to Charlotte and me.
“Are you two “together” or is it “dating”?” He lets out a breath.
“I don’t know these new-fangled relationship terms. Last winter, I asked my paralegal about his new girlfriend, since he brought her to the firm’s Christmas party.
I was just trying to be polite. He lectured me about situationships and sneaky links.
” He shakes his head. “I still don’t understand it. ”
I chuckle. “Charlotte is my girlfriend,” I say in the most even toned voice I possibly can. It’s still hard for me to say my girlfriend without giggling with glee. “I don’t understand the new dating terms either.”
“I’m happy for you,” Dan says. “She seems very nice.” He nods absentmindedly, and we fall into an uncomfortable silence.
I drop my head and press my lips together. “Sorry, I’m not used to this, this whole being friendly thing.” I take a shaky breath into my lungs.
A corner of his mouth upturns and a little huff escapes through his nose. “Neither am I, but I think we’ve been doing okay these last few weeks.”
I nod, my head bobbing multiple times. “Yeah, we have. Thank you again for looking into that conflict-of-interest thing. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that, but I sleep better at night knowing that we at least did the right thing.”
The huff evolves into a chuckle. “I was more than happy to help. I’d do anything for you, Aidan.” I wonder if he wants to say more, but he doesn’t add anything more.
“Can you help me commit tax evasion?” I ask with a smirk.
He jabs a finger at me. “Except that.” His forlorn face melts into a smile.
“But there’s pretty much nothing else that I won’t do for you.
” He sucks in air through his teeth. “Maybe not murder, or another violent crime, or really any crime. But there’s a lot I would do for you.
” He lets air out of his mouth in a sigh.
“I know it took thirty-two years to tell you that, and you might not trust it. If it’s ok with you, I’d like to continue meeting up.
For coffee, or more than coffee. Maybe we could try that bar across the way. ”
I run a hand through my hair. My mind goes back to Charlotte. To her kind and open smile. To how she’s pushed me to expand out of my comfort zone, while simultaneously becoming a new comfort zone.
“I’d like that too,” I finally say. “Maybe I could invite Charlotte to our family dinners?”
He nods and the slight smile broadens. “That would be great.” He presses his lips together into a smile.
“Can I ask one thing?” I say, my chest tightens with anxiety.
I smother it. “Why were you always so critical of me? Why was it that I could never please you?”
He shoves his hands in his pockets and lowers his gaze to his feet.
After a few seconds, he shrugs. “That’s something that I’ve been talking about with my therapist, and I’m still figuring it out.
It’s what your grandfather did to me, and I think I started because I felt like it was expected of me.
I thought that was what it took to be a father.
” He lifts his head and meets my stare. “Maybe it was because I’ve felt like a failure much of my life, and I didn’t want you to fail. ”
I peer at him. “How long have you been in therapy? Because this sounds like you’ve been in sessions a lot longer than a few months.”
Dan blows air through his slightly parted mouth in a throaty sigh. “A little over a year. Stella broke up with me a long time ago. Longer than I let on.”
“Why didn’t you say anything at our family dinners?” I ask him incredulously.
“Because I wanted to work on myself before I approached you about fixing our relationship.” He shakes his head and a lock of hair falls over his forehead.
I wonder if my hair does the same. He pushes it back with his hand.
“My therapist said that if there was any hope of us repairing our relationship, I needed to fix myself first.”
“Hey, mine said the same thing,” I reply with a chuckle.
We stand there and smile at each other. I don’t know what else to say, and something tells me that Dan is feeling the same.
Finally, his gaze travels to the bookcase. “Mind if I buy a book?” he asks, and I grin.
We spend about ten minutes talking about the different books I’ve read and what he’s read and what he’s interested in reading. He purchases James by Everett Percival. We share a short, awkward, but solid hug, probably one of the first I’ve experienced from him in a long time.
As Dan places his hand on the door to leave, I impulsively blurt out, “Do you want to come to the Open Comment meeting tonight?”
“I don’t have any plans.” He turns to face me.
I nod, resolve flooding my chest. “It’ll be a bunch of boring local government stuff.” I let out a low laugh. “What am I saying? You’ll love that shit.”
“I will. Are you sure you want me there?”
I repress the urge to bring up those memories. “I’d love it if you came. I know Charlotte and the rest of the committee would appreciate it. Who knows, maybe one of the council members will recognize you from your government days and be swayed by your support.”
“I doubt it. I’ve been out of the game for a while.” Dan’s face turns contemplative. “But I’ll come.”
The bell above the door twinkles as my father leaves, and my chest feels a whole lot lighter.