Chapter Seven
Holly
“I’m pretty sure I’m the world’s biggest idiot.” I set Kade down in front of the reindeer barn as Evie and I crunch through the snow beside him.
It’s a gorgeous day for tree hunting. I’m trying to absorb every moment and memory as Kade runs his hand along the fence posts and points at Rudolf, but I’m still stuck on Grayson.
Why am I still stuck on Grayson? I can’t be stuck on some random man. I’ve got so many other things to worry about. I mean, I barely slept a wink last night. I need sleep. There’s too much going on not to get sleep!
“Girl, it sounds like he’s a nice guy. I mean, he fixed your water heater, he scared off your ex, placed your biggest order yet for bread, and made you come.
I’d have cuffed him to my bed!” Evie snorts as Kade throws himself into a pile of snow, smashing his little fists together.
“I get it. You want to put Kade first, and you should… but he’s never going to be happy unless you are.
This guy sounds like he’s got it together. ”
I stare toward my friend, my stomach churning at the thought of how idiotic I sounded last night. “I have no idea when I put up all these walls.”
“Umm… maybe when your heart got broken. Maybe when you thought you had a family and the jerk you thought you had it with cheated? I’m pretty sure that’ll do it.
” Her cheeks turn red as the cold whips around in front of us.
“You’re just going to have to take a leap again. If he hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.”
“The man is a giant.”
“Don’t care. I’ll climb on boxes, and I’ll whoop his ass!
” She grins wide as she speaks then raises her brows quickly as though she’s remembered something.
“Since your book thing didn’t work out, I came up with another plan to save the bookstore.
It’s not fool proof, but I’m thinking we do a Santa auction. ”
“Santa auction, what’s that?”
“Like we get a bunch of hot Santas, and we auction them off to all the single women in town.”
“Why do I love this idea?”
“Because I thought of it.” She laughs and flips her hair back playfully as her satisfied breath puffs into the air. “I already put out an ad for eligible Santas in the Rugged Mountain Gazette. We’ll see what comes of it.”
I glance at Kade, who’s now trying to bury his gloves in the snow. “This is the exact kind of festive desperation we need. You’re a genius.”
She smiles wide and scrubs her hand between Prancer’s ears. “Thank you but I prefer the term holiday visionary. Speaking of, I’ve got to get over to the bookstore. You two going to be okay here or do you want a ride home?”
“Thanks, but we’ll be okay. I think I’m going to let Kade play for a while. We’ll pick out our tree and call for a ride share.” I lean into my friend for a hug. “I love you and thanks again for watching Kade last night.”
“You can thank me by calling the giant man back.” She shrugs as she turns down the path toward her car. “Either that or let him know I’m running a bachelor auction for Santas.”
For a moment, I let my mind reel with the thought of someone else touching him, someone else whispering in his ear, his thick fingers sliding inside of them. I hate it! “You did that on purpose.”
“I did.” She grins. “Give Kade a kiss for me. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Shaking my head at her, I take Kade by the hand and wander toward the tree barn at the other side of the lot.
Nothing about this place has changed since I was little and I’m loving the little hit of nostalgia.
The air still smells like pine, the rows of evergreens still dusted in snow, white lights still strung above the lot with a bright red hand painted sign, a path still marked with candy canes.
It’s like the entire farm has stood untouched by time. It’s perfect.
In the center of it all stands the barn.
It’s a big red structure with white trim and a massive wreath hanging over the double doors.
Inside, strings of lights cast a soft glow over the bales of hay covered with plaid blankets.
In the back corner, there’s a stand for hot cider or cocoa, and beyond that are rows of precut trees.
Kade tugs at my hand, eyes wide as he spots a wooden sleigh parked beside a stack of bundled trees.
I let him pull me forward, trying to shake the image of Grayson from my mind, but it lingers, and for a second, I wonder what it would be like to have him here with us.
I wonder what he’d say, how he’d act, what Kade would think of him.
I shouldn’t let myself go down this road, but my brain is like a spinning top going round and round.
Where would we live? Would we get a little cabin up in the woods? Would we have more kids? Would he show Kade all the things his uncle showed him? Would a man like Grayson be good for us? I know he’d be good for me.
What am I thinking? I barely know him.
I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly as I wander toward the aisle of discount trees. Kade toddles close behind, his eyes looking heavy from all the fresh air and snow play.
“Which one are you thinking this year? We can choose any tree from this row.”
I cross my fingers that he picks from the end of the line where a two-footer stands for fifteen dollars.
Kade rubs his eyes with his gloves and stares down the row like he’s on a mission. I brace myself, already calculating how to gently redirect him if he falls in love with the six-foot noble fir that doesn’t look like it belongs on the discounted aisle.
He toddles past the tall ones, past the lopsided ones, past the one with a bald patch in the middle. My heart lifts with cautious hope. Then he stops, right in front of the two-footer. “This one,” he says, pointing with a sleepy grin. “It’s little, like me.”
I crouch beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
“This one is perfect,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to the top of his hat as my phone begins to vibrate in my pocket.
I reach for it, figuring it’s the ride share app letting me know our car is here, except it’s not. It’s Grayson, and my heart stalls.
Grayson: Heading over to your place now. I’ve got some news I think you’re going to want to hear in person.
I can’t imagine what he’d have to tell me, but apparently, my heart doesn’t care. I’m just happy to hear from him.
Me: Okay. We should be back soon.
I hold the phone in my palm for another minute, waiting to see if he responds, but my ride share comes first, and suddenly I’m in a hurry to get home.