6. Esme
Six
Esme
I don’t get anything done the rest of the day. I go back to the kids’ wing after the most amazing twenty minutes of make-out session/torture in history, sit at my desk, stare at a stack of summer reading forms, and don’t process a single word on it, because my mouth still tastes like him…
Honey, dark chocolate, and something burnt and sweet under. Something I’ve never had and can’t even name. And it’s gone now, but my tongue keeps reaching for it. I have to press my thighs together under the desk and breathe deep.
Sven Greymark kissed me, then walked me back to the library, and said, “See you, Esme,” in his flat work voice like nothing fucking happened. And I’ve been a useless mess ever since.
I get through the rest of the day on autopilot. When I get home, I don’t eat. I lie on my bed with my shoes still on and replay everything. His hand, on my face. Big, rough, strong, warm. The scent of him, all around me. The sounds he made when I pulled him down,the growl I felt through my chest...
I last about an hour before my hand’s down my pants.
And today I don’t even fight it. I get my jeans off and lie back, already soaked.
I close my eyes and I’m back in that alley, with Sven’s mouth on mine, his taste flooding me, his hand clamped on me.
I rub my clit in tight, fast circles, thrusting two fingers deep inside my pussy, arch up off the bed, and come fast, hard, fucking yelling his name.
But it’s not enough. My orgasm takes the edge off for about five minutes before I’m right back there, craving him, fucking aching.
Fuck, I got one taste of the real thing and now I need it all.
I lie in the dark, frustrated and half out of my mind, thinking: This alpha is going to fucking ruin my damn life.
I make myself come again before I fall asleep. Doesn’t help.
* * *
When I wake up the next day, I’m fucking done with this shit.
Enough. I’m a grown woman. I have two degrees, a career, a whole damn life I built by myself, and I am not getting jerked around by a male.
Alpha, orc, boss, or whatever the fuck. Who kisses someone like that, then says “see you,” and fucking takes off? !
So I’m gonna get answers. Today. I’mma walk into this stupid giant’s office and ask, very calm and professional: what is this?
What the hell are you doing? What the fuck do you want from me?
And he’s going to give me a straight answer because I deserve one.
You don’t kiss somebody like the world’s ending and then act like nothing. Nope.
I rehearse my speech in the elevator, then walk to his office door with my chin up and the whole thing locked and loaded. But of course asshole’s not there when I finally peek inside after several knocks. Ugh!
I take my sorry ass to the children’s section, grumbling under my breath, and try to focus on work.
But around ten, I know there’s no way that’s gonna happen.
Not after spending the last couple of hours watching the entrance like a hawk through the tall library windows.
I power-walk to the break room, determined to grill whoever I find there about Sven’s whereabouts.
And bingo, Janey is at the counter, making herself coffee.
“Hey Janey,” I greet her, schooling my features into a friendly smile. It’s not her fault I’m having murderous thoughts…
“Hey girl!” she replies with a big grin.
“Where’s everyone? It’s quiet this morning,” I try for casual…
“Some town meeting,” she responds. “There’s a big budget thing at City Hall. Sven and the admin folks are out all day. Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” I lie with the lamest smile I can manage.
All day. He’s gone all freaking day! All my pissed-off-ness is sitting in my chest with nowhere to fucking go.
Fine. Whatever. I’ll see him tomorrow.
Except it’s not whatever, because by noon I’ve gone from pissed to boiling.
Cause, really? He kisses me stupid in an alley and then disappears for a whole day.
Doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t text. Asshole.
Kiss me like that and then go to a budget meeting.
I don’t even have his number, which is its own insane thing: I let this alpha put his freaking delicious tongue in my mouth and I don’t even have his number… Do better, Esme!
In the afternoon, I monitor the teen gaming club and spend ninety minutes stewing in the back of the media room while the group of teenagers exterminate zombies and win championships on the screen.
But after, when I return to my desk, there’s a steaming cup of coffee sitting there. Vanilla latte. Extra shot. From the good coffee shop… And under it, a yellow sticky note, in a small, blocky handwriting:
Dinner tonight. I’ll get you at 7. Wear something warm.
No question mark. No, can I take you to dinner, not are you free? Just: dinner, seven, dress warm.
I stand there, holding the note.
“Oh, Sven dropped that on your desk,” my colleague, Mikey, smirks.
My eyes widen. “W… when?”
“While you were with the gaming kids.” His smirk gets worse. “Coffee and a note, uh?”
I don’t answer. I can’t. What would I even say? I don’t know what this darn aloha is up to! So I take my latte, my post-it, and go back to pretending to work… and completely failing at it.
And when I get home, I lose my entire damn mind. Because this is so much worse than him just leaving me hanging after that amazing kiss, then disappearing the whole day. I have HOURS to get ready and freaking overthink my entire goddamn life!
I shower, do my hair. Then I undo my hair…
I try on everything I own. The first dress is too much; the second not enough.
Jeans say I don’t care, and I care so much it’s embarrassing.
Wear something warm… what the hell does that even mean?
! Where is he taking me? Why didn’t he say?
! I’m going to look like a whole damn snack and then kill this guy. Period.
I text Janey, because she’s my office sis and she knows this fool:
So… Sven is taking me to dinner… What does a male mean by “wear something warm.” Are we eating outside? In a barn??
girl he’s a freaking GREYMARK he’s not taking you to a barn!!
that doesn’t tell me what to WEAR…
A dress. With your knee-high boots. Trust me.
I put on my green wrap dress, knee-high boots, and look in the mirror. I look… okay; I look good. Nothing like a woman who is unraveling over an alpha who left her a coffee and post-it note.
But, of course, I change my earrings twice, redo my lipstick.
Then I sit on the edge of my bed at 6:52 with my hands pressed between my knees so I’ll stop fidgeting, telling myself to be cool, be normal, get a straight answer tonight, don’t let him kiss you stupid again before he gives you one… And then the doorbell rings.