Chapter 36 Kaye
KAYE
I’m not supposed to leave the cathedral, but New Malcolm calls to me and I am helpless against it.
Not when every moment, awake or asleep, triggers some new, half-formed scene in my mind.
I know now that they are memories. Pieces fall into place every day, but for every connection that is forged, two more form in its place.
How many pieces of myself will it take before I become a whole person again?
I may never know. The serum Cooper gave me has filled my cells with a power so strong it is almost explosive.
It hums along my veins, heightening my senses and expanding my ability, but it will still take time for my mind to fully heal. Patience is a virtue I never possessed.
The rungs of the ladder freeze my hands as I climb.
I should have brought gloves, but a touch of my power drawn to my palms is enough to ward off any damage, and each new grasp is followed by a small puff of steam.
The first snowfall of the year dusts the air around me, coating my shoulders and hair.
I release a little laugh, my eyes widening, as I take the first step onto the roof and really take in the view for the first time.
The skyline is decorated in light-drowned stars, and clouds that swirl around the waning crescent moon. It’s so beautiful. It’s the people—the soul of this place—that makes it so unique. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
“Kaye?”
My heart skitters at the sound of that voice, my body growing hot and tense. I am thankful for the grayscale filter the shadows and moonlight provide as I turn to face him.
Charade—Zane—sits about twenty feet away, his back against the glass, one leg tucked into his chest. His hair is ruffled. Shadows line his features like a broken man.
He climbs to his feet and I instantly step away.
“Don’t go,” he says, his hand held up between us in a silent plea.
“That’s close enough, Charade.” My hand grasps the metal rung on the ladder, anchoring me. “Not another step.”
“Okay.” Both hands raise now, his shoulders rolling as his back presses into the wall behind him. “Please stay. This roof is big enough for both of us. You call the shots.”
Whether it’s the exhaustion written in his expression or the desperation ringing in his voice, something that has nothing to do with superpowers compels me to stay.
I pick my way carefully across the roof, never turning my back on him.
I hate leaving the safety of the ladder behind, but I couldn’t stay in the same place either.
I came up here looking for something I can’t even name.
As perverse as it is, it feels closer with him near.
“How’s Apollo?” he finally asks. “I miss that fuzzy little asshole.”
I smile despite myself, and the image of his fuzzy gray face shredding a vibrant purple sheet hits me. I stagger.
“Kaye?” He’s on his feet again, having taken more than a few steps closer to my perch.
It’s my turn to throw up a hand. “I’m okay. I didn’t realize that you… that I…”
My head spins as my axis rights itself.
“They come when I least expect them,” I explain. “I’m never prepared for the power of it.”
He nods, his gaze dropping to our feet. The feeling clears as I train my eyes on the skyline again.
“I came to the cathedral,” he says. “Did they tell you?”
“No,” I sigh, but it doesn’t surprise me.
The Angelis team takes protection to a whole other level, especially Fulton.
She is like a storm blowing in on a summer night, intense, beautiful, and dangerous.
The kind of woman who will do anything for the ones she loves.
The kind of woman you can’t help but love back.
“I wanted to apologize. Kaye, there are no words for what I did. It was unspeakable, and I am so sorry—fuck. I know I’m fucking this up. That no apology I could make could ever—but if you let me, I will spend every moment of every day fighting to make this up to you. I will never hurt you again.”
Something touches my back and my power rises instinctively.
Every hair raises across my skin, a humming building within my body that I have just barely begun to understand.
The forcefield covers me, head to toe, lights me up from within.
An electric crack fills the air as Zane is thrown backward and he smashes through the window to the office within.
An alarm blares somewhere below us, but I don’t care.
I stand over him, and I know what he sees. My eyes flash yellow as I let the hum rise to the surface, the same glow that seeps from my pores and forms a wall of energy around me.
“Kaye,” he chokes out. His hand presses into his side where he hit the ground, knocking the air out of his lungs.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Charade,” I hiss.
“Our work is far from done. Someone has to make sure that all traces of Rose or other serums that might be connected to it and any bits of research left are destroyed. Someone needs to dismantle the CCP and make New Malcolm’s Supers safe again.
I may need your help to do it, and I’ll fight by your side if I have to, but you will never touch me again. Do you understand?”
He flinches. “I love you, Kaye.”
I shake my head. “The person you loved doesn’t exist anymore. You made sure of that. And I might find her again someday, when I get back all the pieces you stole from me. Only then will I know if I can forgive you or not, but until then you will keep your distance.”
He rises, his eyes burning, almost as bright as mine. “I’ll never give up on you, Kaye. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you, but I will never stop coming for you. If it takes me the rest of my life, I will earn your love again.”
“I loved you once,” I whisper. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
“We’ll see.”
I shake my head. He’s welcome to try. I don’t know what will happen when I am whole again. I have only snippets of what we meant to each other. But they are the most visceral and real moments I have reclaimed. These scars are written in my soul, etched into the core of my being.
Not so long ago we were mortal enemies, and he saved my life. I loved him, and he shattered me.
There is more than one way to shatter.
He climbs to his feet again as the alarm cuts out, finally able to hear the echo of many pairs of feet running our way. His eyes linger on mine, his expression full of unspoken desire and danger.
We turn to the guards, each sporting the green uniform and logo of the CCP. There’s no saying what the future will bring, but tonight we fight as one.