Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
ATTICUS
“I need a vampire hunter,” I declare.
“Sir, I firmly believe that hiring a vampire hunter only to retrieve your car might be slightly uncalled for,” Johnny says.
“Uncalled for? I’ve let him steal from me for years, but this time he took it too far. He took my precious car. Let us go. I will deal with him myself. Better yet, stay here and dig a grave.”
“You’re going to drive his body several hours back here to bury it? Why not dig a grave in his own backyard?”
“That is very true. Get the shovel. I doubt he has any useful tools,” I say before hurrying out to the car. When he also hurries out to the car without a shovel, I give him a look. He sighs quite loudly before heading off to find the shovel to help me deal with my extremely annoying problem.
I seethe the whole way to Yorick’s home. I very much would prefer to be reading my book instead of seething, but I find it tedious and uninteresting. “I fell for his tricks. I knew better and still, I fell for them.”
“He simply borrowed a car, sir.”
I huff because Johnny obviously doesn’t understand.
“You weren’t this mad after he ditched Harvard when you’d paid all that money to send him there.”
“It’s not the money, Johnny.”
“Of course not. Do you think you’re highly irritable at the moment for a different reason and are pretending that it has to do with Yorick?”
“If you say something like that again, I will make your contract ten times worse.”
“Understood, sir.”
He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get how Yorick is the only one who pushes my buttons and never learns. He fights me every step of the way and never stops.
When we pull up to Yorick’s little shitty shack, I get out and take one look at my precious car before declaring that Yorick’s head will be next. I rip his front door right off the hinges and let myself in, even though I could have wasted a moment to sense whether he was here well before doing so.
“He must be at Casimir’s,” I say as I get back in the car.
“Should I put the door back on?”
“Leave it off.”
“Yes, sir,” Johnny says, and off we go again.
At least Casimir is a man of fine taste. “Casimir really is the most useful of the ones I turned. Possibly the only one who is intelligent enough to be permitted in my life.”
“Yorick would certainly score higher than Casimir in any intellectual exams,” Johnny makes sure to inform me.
“Whose side are you on?”
“I’m on Johnny’s side,” Johnny says.
I glare at the back of his head as he sits smugly in the front seat. He always does get a bit cocky when I let him loose for some bloodshed.
When we reach Casimir’s house, I debate letting myself in, but Johnny knocks and Casimir almost immediately answers.
“He’s hiding upstairs and seems to believe you won’t be able to find him,” Casimir says.
“Oh, I will find him.”
I start toward the stairs, but before I can go up them, Casimir slides in front of me, blocking my path.
I hesitate at this blatant insubordination. “Are you testing me? I can only handle one irritant right now.”
“I want to know what’s going on.”
“With?”
Casimir stares at me while I question whether it’s worth telling him anything. Do I involve him in this? I already have an ace up my sleeve.
“Stay out of it. It has nothing to do with you.”
“It’s still involving me and, more importantly, Julian since you two are here,” Casimir says.
“I will solve that problem when I drag his ass out of this house,” I retort, pushing past him. I can tell it annoys him as he storms after me.
When I reach the second floor, I don’t even have to look too hard because Yorick is sitting on a decorative table that’s perched under the window at the end of the hall.
He turns to look at me and smiles. “You just can’t seem to get enough of me, Atticus. It’s almost like you’re in love with little ole handsome me. I’m blushing. Don’t look.”
“You crashed my car.”
“I merely tapped it into the side of my garage. Casimir, my brother, protect me.”
“I’m not your brother,” Casimir grumbles.
“No, you’re all so grumpy! You two are obviously the related ones. I’m the charismatic and amazingly handsome next-door neighbor. I’d better go next door, then.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” I growl as I stalk down the hallway. “You steal my car, you flee, and then you crash my car—”
“You forgot where I tricked you,” the irritant tosses out.
“I would never be tricked by you. I chose to let you do what you wished.”
“If you chose to let me take your car, why are you being so fussy? Was it a gift, then? Thank you for the gift. I will treat it semi well. You have always played favorites with me. What do you want to give Casimir? I bet he feels like the unwanted one since I get everything.”
“I don’t have to give Casimir anything because he’s a normal man who has accomplished great things on his own. What have you accomplished?”
Yorick’s lips turn to a thin line, and I’m surprised when there’s no comeback. I can’t fathom I’ve struck a nerve.
I walk up to him and hold my hand out. “Give me the keys.”
“You want the keys?” His eyes flick up to mine and steadily hold them. “Here’s your fucking keys.”
He flings the keys at me, kicks me in the chest, and dives through the open window. The problem is that he’s still not healed, and leaping from the second floor does him little good. I’m so much faster than him that I land well before he even rises up.
“What the fuck was this stunt?” I ask.
“I’m too pretty to die,” he whines, curling in on himself.
“You think pretty people don’t die? What nonsense is that?”
Yorick’s eyes are sharp as they turn on me, and I notice that his hair is a mess, no longer tied back but falling into his face. It oddly makes me want to push it out of those narrowed eyes, but I refrain.
“Find someone else!” he snaps.
“I found you. You agreed. We both know you’d be the best one to do this. Are you going back on your agreement now?” I hiss, pointing the keys he threw at me at his face so I don’t do something foolish like fix his hair.
He sneers at me. “Are you going to kill me if I don’t?”
“If you don’t, we’ll end up dead anyway. I won’t have to kill anyone.”
Julian walks out of the house to join us. “Wow, looks like you two are having fun out here.”
“We were just having a discussion,” I say.
“He was telling me how pretty I am,” Yorick adds.
“Was he? Then why is Casimir glowering from the second-floor window and our screen is in the bushes?” Julian asks.
Yorick shrugs. “He just couldn’t get enough of me.”
“You look like shit. You should be resting in bed.”
“I would love to tuck Yorick in,” I volunteer.
“Sounds horribly suspicious, so I will observe,” Julian says, following us into the house. He ushers Yorick over to a bed, and Yorick is all smiles as Julian pulls the blanket over him and asks if he needs anything else while picking leaves out of his hair.
“No, I’m good. Thank you, puppers.”
Then Julian stands by the door to observe our exchange. I don’t fail to notice that Casimir is in the hallway, out of sight, so he can listen in.
“We will discuss the specifics later. I never said you had to die over it,” I snap. “Why are you jumping to that conclusion?”
“You really think I’ll have any other choice?” Yorick grumbles. “Fine, I’ll do it. You’re right. I have nothing tying me here. I seem significantly better at making enemies than friends. But before I die, you will be my servant for one day.”
“No.” He’s been dramatic since the day I met him, so it’s really no surprise that he’s changed this to something so dramatic.
He gawks at me. “You want me to sacrifice my life, and you won’t even serve me?”
“You might be fine. Who knows?”
Yorick’s glaring daggers at me, and I find it rather pleasing. There’s something about that look that gives me peace.
“Are you pissed at me for having faith in you?” I ask.
“Faith? There’s no way you have faith in me.”
“I might.”
“I get one day to boss you around, starting now.”
“Fine. I will take pity on you.”
“I want another blanket to cover my toes.”
“You’re a vampire who doesn’t feel cold, so you don’t even need a blanket.”
“I was mauled because of you, and you have promised to serve me, so you shall service my toes.”
I scowl at that declaration. I even debate calling for Johnny to take over, but I’m well aware that I would have to hear Yorick yap up a storm if I did such a thing.
So I turn around, and since I don’t see a blanket, I pick up a rug and drape it over his feet.
The look he gives me could melt Antarctica.
“You are so fucking picky.”
“Does it look like my precious toes want a dirty old rug covering them?”
“Strangely enough, I don’t think they give a flying fuck what covers them. They’re attached to you, so their lives are already easy enough. Do you even have to move these toes to exist? Don’t you just kick back and spend my money with ease?”
Yorick gasps. “The audacity! You should know that I like to spend your money in stores, not only online, which requires me to move about on my precious toes. Now I’m parched. Get me a glass of blood.”
I can feel my eye twitch, but I head out the door and take my leisurely time getting him blood. It’s so leisurely that he begins to repeatedly call me, even though I refuse to answer.
“Johnny… where’d he get a new phone? I thought he didn’t have a phone after the dumbass twins destroyed his last one,” I say as I stare down at the phone ringing and ringing in my hand.
Johnny glances over at me. “I picked it up for him.”
“Do you remember me stating that we should remove him from our phone plan?”
“Yes, sir, but I also know that you get enjoyment out of texting him.”
How dare he? “I would never.”
“My apologies, then.”
I grumble at him before carrying the blood upstairs and holding out the glass to Yorick.
He takes one look at it before gazing up at me with an innocent expression. “Where’s the straw?”
I bite back the shocked look I want to give him. “What fucking straw?”
“I can’t drink from this cup. I need a straw.”
“There is absolutely no vampire alive who drinks blood with a straw.”
“We’re only on hour one of twenty-four and you’re already being so mean to me. I’m going to go cry to Julian,” he declares.
“Tell him to bring a tissue to mop up your tears.”
His bright eyes narrow. “Straw, please.”
I grit my teeth and walk down to the kitchen where Julian is grabbing a snack. “The parasite would like a straw.”
“And you’re getting it for him?” Casimir asks.
“Do not test me, Casimir,” I snarl.
Casimir looks at me like he’s confused about how he’s doing so as I yank the straw from Julian’s hand and stomp upstairs where I find Yorick finishing off the glass without a straw in sight.
“Oh, that’s okay, I don’t need the straw anymore.” And then he flashes me a huge smile.
“I’m going to shove this straw up your ass,” I threaten.
“Only if you kiss me first,” Yorick says, pursing his lips.
“Go to sleep, and please, I’m begging you, sleep for twenty-four hours,” I say as I snap the plastic straw in half. It gives me very little joy since it bounces back to life.
“I think I’d feel better if you read me a bedtime story.”
I turn around to leave, but his voice stops me.
“This might be our last day together, and you’re just going to walk out? I never knew you were so weak, Atticus.”
I scoff as I turn around and slam my ass down into a chair. I do it so hard that the chair legs shatter and I crash to the floor, which gives Yorick the biggest laugh of his life while I lie among the ruins of the chair.
“Oh. My. God. Why did you sit down with so much force? You deserved that,” Yorick decides as he pushes the blanket back. At first, I think it’s so he can help me up until I realize he’s just moving into a better position to snap a photo of me.
“I will haunt you until your dying day,” I warn him.
“Well, luckily for you, it won’t be long now,” Yorick says as he snaps another picture of me glaring at him.
I stand up, suppressing my desire to kick the remnants of the chair through the wall. Johnny rushes in and hurriedly clears the pieces away before putting a new chair in its place, all while Yorick grins at me.