Chapter 7 #2
I broke the hug, telling him, “I’m so proud of you.”
He blushed.
“Really, really proud.”
“Thanks, Akira. Please don’t tell anyone else yet. I’m not ready.”
I would never. “This is yours to share, not mine. You do what you have to do. It’s your life, your terms.”
He hugged me again right as a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in,” I called.
G entered with a plastic blue tray, with two steaming bowls of food and a couple bottles of water on top of it.
Shame they weren’t two cold beers.
My stomach rumbled in response, though. Ready for grub now.
“Everything okay?” G asked.
Zach gave him a nod and left us to it, closing the door gently behind him.
The moment that door clicked shut, my mood took a sideways lurch into the realm of discombobulated.
“Dammit.” I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“What’s wrong?”
I told him about the voice.
G put the tray down on the bed, taking me by the shoulders. “I’m here.”
Cue a lovely cuddle, his big hands stroking my spine.
“This shit is exhausting,” I complained.
“It’s okay.”
As much as I loved being comforted by this stud muffin of the highest caliber, it didn’t help my frustration. The walls seemed to slide in closer, my chest far too tight, and my anger in need of escape.
This Aki required blood and steel and some backflipping kick-arsey to make things better, to show the enemy it wouldn’t be stopping me.
I sighed, breaking free of the cuddle.
He cupped my face with both hands. “Aki…”
I nuzzled against his touch. “Thanks for always being you.”
“Forever.”
“You’re the best, multiplied by infinity.”
“And I came bearing mac ‘n’ cheese.”
Whoa, that perked me up. The man made the most elite mac ‘n’ cheese in the universe.
“It’s a ready meal,” he added.
My perkiness tempered. “Cool.”
“I emptied them into bowls for presentation.”
Cute. “Awesome.”
“Not awesome, but better than nothing.” He pecked me on the lips. “When this is over, I’ll make you a fresh one.”
“Promise?”
“Always.” He noticed the candle and holy book. He did his thing, also having forgotten about it, then directed me to the bed and the grub.
The cheesy pasta gooiness wasn’t too bad really. A few slices of garlic bread would’ve elevated the shit out of it, but at least it wasn’t cold gruel and misery in a bowl.
We sat side by side, eating, enjoying some quiet time.
“I thought we could talk about our honeymoon,” he said after he finished another bite.
I swallowed a cheesy lump. “Oh, yeah?”
The missing piece of our wedding puzzle—something we didn’t want to rush. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, since both of us were hesitant to travel.
“Tell me if you think this is rubbish,” he added.
I giggled. He’d replaced trash with rubbish recently, picking up the British idiom from me and from living in the UK for so long.
“Go on,” I pressed.
“Why don’t we do a camp out at home? Get some tents, fairy lights, even a sand box. Turn it into our own special resort. We’ll have cocktails, music, and never have to get dressed if we don’t want to.” He winked.
I tingled all over, my honey bunny knowing all the right happy buttons to push.
“Mr. Dawson, you are defo barking up the right tree.” Man, the way my lips spread into a grin was almost painful.
“I love it. Sign me up.” I leaned over to kiss him.
“But only if you’re sure.” A slight twinge of unease tempered the joy. “I don’t want to hold you back.”
He ran a hand over his short, dark buzzcut. “From what?”
“Seeing the world.”
His forehead creased. “The outside world is overrated.”
Sweet. “If you want to hit a beach, I’ll go. Don’t do this because of me.”
He cocked his head. “Did I ever give you that impression?”
Shit. Had I annoyed him?
I shook my head.
“As long as I’m with you, Aki, I don’t need to be anywhere else.” He took my hand, brushing his lips across my knuckles. “I love you so much. I just want you to be happy.”
Tears burned in my ducts, my anguish hot coals pressed against my core. “Oh, man.”
“What’s wrong?”
It came spilling out of me, the dam collapsed. “I’m gonna lose you. I can’t… I can’t…” I took some frantic breaths, getting to my feet. My food crashed to the floor, my heart jackhammering.
“Aki?”
Pacing, I wrung my hands together. “Nothing lasts forever. You’re going… I can’t stop time from…from… Please… I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna lose you.”
The panic attack hit me hard, forcing me to my knees with tears cascading down my face.
“Aki.” G came down with me, cradling my face. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Tell that to the splinters in my head. “I can’t… I can’t…”
A bitter wind blew through the room, snapping me out of my spiral. “What the—”
“A choice will present itself to…”
A burst of pink behind my eyes, flashes of the Cherry Moon at its reddest, a swirl of Sakura. Icy air attacked me, stealing my breath.
“Shit…”
“Love is ripe,” a voice said. Not the one from before, but a colder one.
So much colder.
Pain seared through my forehead, my heartrate tripling.
“A choice will present itself to you…”
“Bollocks.” I stumbled back, bumping the bed. I went down, my vision blurred with pink, pink and bleeding red.
“It is coming, Akira.” The warm voice this time.
Grabbing my head, I yelled, “Bloody hell!”
I felt G’s presence, looked up to see a smudge where his face should be. The rest of him melted, drowning in pink, fringed by the tiniest of Sakura.
Cold, so cold. The room was plunged into darkness. Every shadow thick with sorrow, their unseen tendrils sliding across my heart, all sticky and vile. Drawing more tears from my eyes and a whimper from my lips. Suffocating me, a hundred pythons coiled around me, crushing life and joy and love away.
Hands on me. Falling away. Leaving me alone down in the dark.
Down in the dark.
Down in the dark.
Down…
…in the dark.