Chapter 17 #2
As with every holiday, I went all out, planning, preparing, baking, and cooking and then regretted it halfway through.
I remembered thinking the same thing last Thanksgiving and again last Christmas before I was even halfway through cooking the feast I’d planned.
I wondered why in the hell I never said, ‘Fuck it!’ and insisted we eat out.
By the time my kitchen was clean, I’d be exhausted and promise myself that was the plan for the next holiday, but I never followed through with it.
I loved having my kids together around the table, listening to their bickering and laughter, and this year there would be more people than usual.
I loved that too. Jaimee’s mom, Jodie, and I had become fast friends.
She was eager to help me cook and managed to make quick work of the tasks I gave her, even as the three young women did more talking than working, sneaking bites of things when they thought I wasn’t looking.
“If you drag your dirty finger through that whipped cream, you’re gonna end up wearing that pie, Brinn!”
“What if I use a spoon?” Brinn asked sassily.
“There’s a bowl of fresh whipped topping in the refrigerator. Take three spoons and that bowl, and you and your minions leave the kitchen before you make me come unhinged and go on a killing spree.”
“We’ll set the table first. Do you want to use your new dishes?”
“Yes! I’ve finally got the entire set, and I can’t wait to show them off!”
“If you bought the rest of the set for yourself, then what are we supposed to get you now?” Brinn asked in exasperation.
“The serving bowls, the measuring bowls, and you can always add to my collection of coffee mugs.”
“But you don’t even use them!” Brinn argued.
“I use them for formal occasions and special guests.”
Jodie glanced at the cup I’d served her coffee in that said, “Be careful what you say to the writer, or she’ll put you in a book and kill you.” and then smiled before she said, “I guess I’m not special.”
I laughed before I explained, “You’re special because you’re family, but that means you don’t get the fancy dishes.”
“I’ve enjoyed hanging out with all of you so much that I wouldn’t mind drinking from the water hose and eating off of paper plates at this point.”
“We won’t go that far. I’ll at least give you a plastic cup.”
Jodie laughed as she scraped the onion she’d chopped off of the cutting board into the bowl with the celery and carrots she’d already diced and then turned to watch the girls devour the whipped cream without even thinking to offer us a bite.
“God, I wish I could still eat like that,” Jodie murmured.
“Well, at least food eaten on Thanksgiving or the three days after don’t count as gluttony.”
“Is that right?” Jodie asked with a slow smile.
I nodded as I explained, “Same goes for Christmas, but it also includes all of the candy prep. Since Christmas is a magical season, there’s no such thing as calories."
“I like your thought process.”
“Speaking of which, would you and Jaimee like to join us for Christmas?”
“I’d hate to . . .”
“If you say anything other than yes or that you already have plans with Jason Statham, I will be sorely offended.”
“Jason and I just weren’t a good fit,” Jodie said sadly. “He couldn’t keep up with me in the bedroom, so we had to go our separate ways.”
Jamiee gasped in embarrassment and then said, “Mom! Seriously?”
“What? I might be old, but I’m not dead!”
We laughed as the girls muttered about how inappropriate we were for our age as they got back to work. With Jodie’s help in the kitchen, the prep took half as long as it would have, and we had a good, very enlightening conversation while we worked.
I was shocked to find out she had also spent time in prison. When she told me it was for killing her husband, I burst out laughing and asked, “Do you know how many women have fantasized about doing that?”
“Did you ever think about killing your ex?”
“Every single time he came home smelling like another woman’s perfume.”
Jodie scowled before she said, “That son of a bitch!”
“Yes. He is.”
“Have you been divorced long enough to pretend you like each other again?”
“God, no! He’s still pissed that he didn’t make me homeless and destitute in the divorce. Luckily, I don’t have to deal with him very often - just once a quarter when we meet with the accountant to go over the numbers for the company, which will be happening in two weeks.”
“Ew. Way to fuck up the holiday spirit, huh?”
“He’s still bitter. I’m not sure whether it’s because he didn’t win or because I’m thriving and happy without him. I don’t really care either way.”
“I bet that makes the business meetings really fun,” Jodie said sarcastically.
“Probably about as much fun as Chewie’s having outside with my sons right now.”
Jodie giggled before she said, “I have a feeling Chewie can hold his own, Taya. They’ll all scratch and grunt about manly shit and work it out amongst themselves.”
“I just don’t want them to say something that’s going to make him doubt what we’ve got together.” I barked out a laugh that sounded a little unhinged before I said, “Listen to me talking like we’re three steps from the church when we’ve only known each other for about five minutes.”
“I’ve lived in good times and bad. I’ve been through some things that people only think happens in the movies or television dramas. Do you want to know what I’ve learned from all of that?”
“What?”
“Life is short, and most people suck, so when you find one who understands your particular brand of crazy and doesn’t seem to mind it, you should hold on tight and make sure they never get away.”
“I think that’s called kidnapping with a dash of Stockholm Syndrome, Jodie.”
“Call it what you like, but they way Chewie looks at you makes me want to hate you out of sheer jealousy, but you’re so fucking nice it’s almost impossible. It’s a conundrum, but I’m working my way through it.”
I barked out a laugh and reached out to rest my hand on Jodie’s arm before I said, “I like you, too, my friend.”
“What’s not to like? I’m fantastic!” Jodie winked at me before she said, “You might be a little fantastic too.”
“Are you two gonna make out soon? I’m getting bored.”
I looked over and saw Donner leaning against the doorframe watching us and asked, “Did you come to tell me my boys tried to tie up Chewie and he killed them?”
“If that had happened, you would never know because I’d be hiding the bodies.”
I felt my eyes go wide with shock, but Jodie just laughed before she asked, “What do you want, Donner?”
“I was sent as an emissary to tell you that we put the chicken coop where you said you wanted it, and that’s where it’s gonna fucking stay.” Jodie and I started laughing, but Donner didn’t even crack a smile. “I’m serious.”
“I’m the one cooking dinner, Donner. If I want it moved, it will get moved, or no one gets to eat.”
Donner sniffed the air and then frowned before he said, “That’s playing dirty.”
“That’s how you win!”