CHAPTER 38
THE A’KORI PALACE
Present Day
Gasping for air, hands shaking, I drag myself from the thick sludge of oblivion. My heart races as I claw my way to the surface, sure that if I falter it will pull me into its depths and I will sink down, never to reemerge.
Safe. You’re safe.
At last, my demon came to claim its portion from my dreams. My hand glides across my throat, soothing the tender muscles. My eyes fly open, a deep panic welling within me when I recall where I am.
I clutch the empty sheets beside me, sighing my relief when I find that the general is absent his usual place on the bed. The sky is tinged a dark shade of grey, only the faintest of proclamations that the sun is set to rise, and there are still hours before dawn.
My senses still dull from the clouded visions of my nightmares, it takes me entirely too long to notice the murmur of muffled voices beyond the doors of the war room. If not for the time of day I wouldn’t think much of it. The room is, after all, well trafficked by those he trusts.
I can’t help but wonder if the Vatruke have been sighted and find it difficult to conjure little else that would rouse the male from my side in the small hours of morning.
Pitching the sheets from my body, I cinch a thin dressing gown around my waist, curiosity pulling me toward the flickering light spilling from beneath the doors.
I raise my hand to the lever, my body stilling when Nurai’s voice comes from the other side.
“What you are asking is impossible, Xeyvian. There is not a feyn alive that still has the power to unbind her.”
“There is someone,” he growls angrily, “Or she would not be as she is.”
“The Vatruke?” Riesh offers.
“Muri was the only one left with that kind of power after the sundering,” Xeyvian says.
A thoughtful silence falls over the room before Nurai offers an inconceivable option. “Take her back to La’tari. Surely if that is where she is from, that is where you will find the answers you seek.”
“It’s a good plan, Xey,” Riesh says, “And it will get her out of Vos’s reach.”
“Vos cannot easily reach her behind these walls,” the general argues.
“You underestimate her if you think that’s true,” Nurai says flatly, confirming all my fears about the female that hunts me.
A hush falls over them, the general considering all they have said.
“I will accompany you,” Awri offers, “A glamour to hide what you are, and you will be free to move about the southern continent unhindered.”
The general’s voice is full of far too much hesitation when he answers, “All right. We will take her to La’tari. Riesh, you will come with us.”
“I will join you as well,” Nurai says, and I really wish she hadn’t.
“I will alert Toren,” Xeyvian says, “Awri, tell Caden that he will be joining our party and send Riah to my chambers. Have a ship prepared for the crossing and well stocked with supplies for our landing. We leave tomorrow, on the earliest possible tide.”
There is a moment I am a coward. A moment I tell myself maybe there is a life to be had in the midst of this lie. I can leave with the male, put myself far from any harm I could cause his king. Savor whatever time it allows us to share.
But it wouldn’t be real. Not any of it. Not until he truly knows what I am.
It is Riesh who first exits the war room into the general’s chamber.
I don’t try to pretend I haven’t overheard them.
The pause the male gives me when he meets my eyes only speaks of the relief he feels in that knowledge.
With a shallow nod he leaves to see to the general’s orders.
Awri follows shortly after, a relieved smile adorning her face as well when she rushes out to see to her task.
“Take the glier if you must but leave the others,” Nurai says, and I bristle at the demand in her tone. “A small party will be far easier to conceal.”
“If that were not the case,” the general responds, his voice low in warning, “I would have Toren beside me as well, a fleet of ships sailing south, and a legion aboard them. Trust me when I say that this is the least I will allow to accompany us, and far from my comfort. Where she is concerned, I have not found my limit, and I would give everything to see her safely through this.”
“Careful, Xeyvian,” she says simply, “The fates may choose to test that declaration.”
She smiles at me when she leaves the room and I’m not sure why it feels like a taunt. I tell myself that it is only that I do not like the female and push every thought of her from my mind.
The general is the last to join me in the main room, cloaked in gloom.
It’s clear by the look on his face, he is not at all surprised to find me awake.
I, on the other hand, am unaccustomed to seeing him with dark circles beneath his eyes.
As the others had, he offers me a smile but only looks worn out as he pulls me against his chest, resting his chin on my head.
“Did you sleep?” I ask, knowing that nothing as simple as a night awake would be enough to wear on him like this.
“A little,” he says, dropping a kiss on my head before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, pulling me between his legs.
“So, mi’ajna, will you travel to La’tari?” he asks without pretense.
“Do I have a choice?” I ask.
It’s a fair question. After all, he made his plans without consulting me, and all the arrangements are well on their way to being complete.
“I will never take your choice from you, mi’dair’a.” His brow dips as if he can hardly believe he has to explain it to me, and maybe I shouldn’t make him. “If you want to stay, then we will stay, and find another way.”
Another way to what? To unbind her. To unbind me.
I remind myself that he promised to help me undo the bargains I hold with the fea, but I don’t ask him what Nurai meant when she said it, afraid of what his answer might be.
Today is for us, tonight for the revealing of myself, and tomorrow, a new beginning, no matter which threads of my life the fates choose to pull upon.
“You’ve only just asked me to remain in A’kori,” I tease, a small deflection.
He pins me with a hard stare and says, “Allow me to make my intentions clearer. It would please me to have you by my side, always. A’kori, Brax, continents unknown to the feyn.
Let your home be here.” He grasps my wrist, placing my hand over his pounding heart and I want to choke on every lie I have let the male believe.
“Your heart is my home. Every piece of what you are decorates the halls of my life in a vivid splendor I never dreamed to possess.” He cups my jaw.
“You are so much more than I ever hoped for.”
I hide my sorrow in a kiss, savoring the taste of him as my throat burns and my chest aches.
“If you still feel that way tomorrow,” I say, “ask me again.”
A frown flickers across his face, but he nods slowly in agreement.
“I have a gift for you,” he says, producing a small box from within his pocket, carved from knotted wood.
“I have wanted to give you this since the night you fell in the river. There was a time, as you slept, that I was sure you would never rise.” His brow creases as he recalls it. “To have found you, only to lose you…”
He shakes off the memory, unable to speak life into all that he feared that night. More than ever, I wish we lived in a world where I could reassure him that he would never lose me. But I won’t lie to him. Not anymore.
He composes himself and with the swipe of his thumb unlatches the box, settling it into the palm of my hand.
“I think I know you well enough by now to know that you prefer the blades I gifted you, but you can’t take them everywhere,” he says.
I raise an eyebrow at the male, but I don’t argue. It’s true that the flimsy dresses of court would do little to conceal them, but I’m sure if I put my mind to it, I could manage.
He chuckles. “Well, for my sake then, consider wearing it.”
Holding back the lid he reveals a feynstone ring, simple and lovely, nestled in a thick clutch of black velvet.
Just as my blades do, the stone has an odd way of pulling at the light as if it might gather up every flame, snuffing us into darkness.
The kite shaped stone is set in a thin band of delicate gold and, though the jewel wasn’t crafted to be a weapon, the pointed shape of its tip begs to be used in such a way.
I can’t help the smile that breaks upon my face, a pleased grin forming on his own as he plucks it from the box and places it on my finger.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, never having thought I would ever honor a jewel with such words.
“It is nothing compared to you,” he replies, and for the life of me I can’t understand why, but I know he means it.
He rises from the bed reluctantly, the exhaustion he feels lingering upon his face when he says, “I need to speak with Toren and help him fortify the grounds before the guests arrive.”
I nod. “I will come with you.”
“You will stay here,” he says. And when he sees I’m about to protest, he adds a simple, “Please.”
He’s lucky when a knock at the door grabs my attention. Luckier still that it is Riah on the other side. If the male won’t let me join him, at least the female he’s leaving me with is likely to offer some form of entertainment I can truly enjoy.
The general plants a kiss on top of my head, his fingers twisting the ring on my hand affectionately, before he leaves.
A pang of sorrow resounds in my chest when he walks out.
I should have been more diligent in capturing the last moments I was assured with him.
I should have left him with words he could remember as he had done for me so many times.
The fates promise no tomorrows, and I’d been careless with precious moments that could easily be our last.
Riah eyes the ring, a broader smile than usual taking over her features. “That is quite a gift. I don’t suppose you will tell me how you got it.”