Oh! The Drama
Jordan stared up at the ceiling. There was a tornado swirling in her head, spinning with such speed, she couldn’t really focus on anything.
She’d taken a sick day on Friday and had been on a drinking binge ever since.
The only thing she’d ingested over the last three days was an exorbitant amount of alcohol with the occasional mouthful of nachos.
It was a bad idea and she knew that when she threw up later, it was going to be… interesting.
So Tyler Evans had been using her to get his ex-girlfriend back.
She’d done what he’d asked. She’d thought about everything that happened in the last six months and now she actually felt worse. She didn’t know which parts of their relationship were real and which parts were just pretend.
If that stupid plan had worked, he would have gone back to Trisha.
Their entire relationship never would have happened.
Jordan hadn’t heard their entire conversation.
She’d been walking Roscoe when she spotted them arguing.
Staying hidden behind that big tree, she’d dropped in on the conversation at the point when he told Trisha that her leaving had got him so twisted.
There’d been so much anger in his voice, the quiet calm when he was raging inside.
It was clear that he wasn’t over her. When Trisha asked him if their relationship was fake, he completely sidestepped the question.
He didn’t even have the balls to defend what they had, which meant they had nothing.
And yet even after hearing that he was just using her, even after her heart plummeted when she saw them leave together, Jordan couldn’t bring herself to believe it.
After all that had happened between them, she couldn’t believe that it was all just pretend.
So she’d given him the benefit of the doubt, gave him a chance to explain himself.
She’d asked him where he’d been, hoping he’d tell her everything, and then he lied to her again. Twice.
“I think you should give him another chance,” Gemma said, pulling her out of her depressed stupor. “I think he made a stupid mistake, but he’s a great guy, Jordan, and he genuinely cares about you.”
“I think your opinion should be struck from the record,” Neil countered. “It’s biased and should not be taken into consideration. You’re sleeping with the enemy. My guess is that it was Matt’s plan to begin with.”
Gemma sneered. “Put a cock in it, Neil!”
Jordan’s lips tilted up lazily. This was why she loved them.
She was depressed and she wanted to get drunk and they’d been sitting with her for three days doing just that.
They let her cry. They made her laugh. They were comfort personified.
She couldn’t ask for better friends. It had been a three-day pajama party.
None of them had showered in that time. Disgusting and nasty.
That was the kind of depression she was up against. And even though now the whole place smelled of liquor and nachos with a slight hint of ass, they hadn’t left her side once.
They just wallowed in depression with her.
“I can’t believe he’d do that to us.” Neil swallowed another shot of tequila. “We were really falling for him.”
“Jordan, he asked you for time,” Gemma argued. “He wouldn’t have done that if he was using you. He needed to make a decision and he ended up choosing you.”
Jordan gave a tired snort and stuffed a few nachos in her mouth.
“That’s not why he asked for time. It was a stalling tactic.
He was waiting for Trisha to come back and when she didn’t, I was there.
The funny, silly, delusional woman of convenience.
” She sat up lethargically and knocked back another shot.
“I kept pushing. I asked him to go to Montana with me. I was in his face all the time. And I guess…that’s the problem when you pretend to date someone.
At some point…you forget it’s just pretend.
He did it for so long it became real.” Alcohol made her sloppy and emotional.
Now her voice was whiny and tears were running down her cheeks.
“But it was real for me the whole time.”
“You’re so ugly when you cry,” Neil said unsteadily as tears filled his own eyes. “You look like a troll…who got hit in the face with a spade.” He rubbed his wet nose on the sleeve of his sweater. It was possible that he was taking this worse than she was. “So fucking ugly.”
“I know!” she choked out. “Fuck Tyler Evans!”
“Are you giving me permission? Because you know I won’t say no.” Neil shook his head and wiped his eyes. “God, what has this man done to us? Even after he’s broken your heart, I’m still willing to do the nasty with him.” He drank his next shot straight from the bottle. “I feel so cheap.”
“That’s because you are cheap,” Gemma quipped, throwing her arm over Jordan’s shoulder. “You know what we should do? We should make some popcorn and watch corny movies all night…starting with Dirty Dancing.”
“Fair warning,” Neil said with a nod of agreement. “I don’t care if you guys are on the same couch as me, I’m gonna masturbate to Patrick Swayze. I’m that depressed right now.”
“Actually,” Jordan said, “I have a better idea.”
* * * * *
Tyler fell backwards onto his bed and clasped his hands behind his head.
He hadn’t spoken to Jordan in three days.
She called in sick on Friday and he took that as a sign that she wanted some time alone.
He hurt her. He’d done the one thing he had so carefully tried to avoid.
He’d gone through months of frustration because he didn’t want to lead her on.
He’d pulled back because he hadn’t been emotionally ready for another relationship.
He’d tip-toed around everything because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her and that’s exactly what happened.
He could understand her reasons for ending it, but the fact that he lost Jordan over something so stupid was just mind-boggling.
So here he was depressed and lonely, thinking of a way to make things right.
She needed time and he would give it to her.
At this moment she was doubting everything he’d said and done.
He’d given her reason to. But this wasn’t irreversible and he was going to do whatever it took to make it right.
His phone beeped on the nightstand and he reached over to get it. It was a voice note from Jordan and even though he smiled when he saw her name pop up on his screen, he knew this wasn’t going to be pretty.
“Alright, Roman,” he said with a heavy sigh, “let’s hear what you have to say.”
He pressed play and from the first slurred words, he knew she was wasted.
Jordan: Good evening, Tyler Evans. I am sending you this very drunk voice note *hic* to tell you that I am no longer fond of you.
Neil: We all hate you! You’re a heartbreaker.
Jordan: I have found your behavior to be quite displeasing, so we wrote you a song. It goes like this: (pauses and clears her throat) You suck! You suck!
Gemma: More than Neil on a good day.
Jordan: You suck! *hic* You suck!
Neil: Like an industrial sized vacuum cleaner.
Jordan: You suck! You suck! Like a two-bit hooker with no teeth—Wait. That last bit doesn’t rhyme.
Neil: The whole thing doesn’t rhyme.
Gemma: We’re really bad at this.
Jordan: I can’t believe you were using me to get *hic* Trisha back. That’s such a sucky thing to do to someone.
Neil: Would it have been less painful if he wasn’t good in bed?
Jordan: No! Maybe…I-I don’t know. He’s so great in bed. A fucking sex God! Can you say multiple *hic* orgasms, Neil?
Gemma: Guys, we’re gonna send this to him. Let’s keep it hateful.
Up until this point, Tyler was more than amused, but then this happened and he crumbled.
Jordan: There’s a part of me that wishes I was the rebound girl.
The rebound girl is used to get over the ex, but to be used to get the ex back…
Fuck! I would even be happy if I found out I was a bet…
(crying) because that’s the lowest I ever expected of you.
You were such a *hic* nice guy, I didn’t even see it coming.
Gemma: Jordan, press send!
Jordan: (whispers) I hate what you do to me. I hate that even though you hurt me, I’m still taking the time to send you a drunk voice note *hic*. I hate knowing that when I was up all night thinking about you (more crying), you were thinking about using me in the next step of your plan.
Neil: What are you doing?! You’re fucking up the drunk voice note!
Jordan: I hate that even though my heart feels so heavy, I’m still dying to see you.
Gemma: Fuck, Neil! Save her from herself.
Jordan: I miss you.
Neil: No, Jordan! (Shuffling and then she was rugby tackled to the floor) Don’t press—
Tyler groaned and dropped his head into his hands. This was much worse than he’d expected. He’d hurt her much more than she’d let on.
Okay, Tyler. You’ve got your work cut out for you.
He replayed the part of the message that gave him hope that this was still fixable.
“I miss you.” Rewind. “I miss you.” Rewind. “I miss you.” Rewind. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Jordan.”