Chapter 17
Chloe humshappily as the waitress sets the bowl of guacamole on the table in front of her. For the umpteenth time, she’s so grateful her morning sickness has mostly passed. It still comes in waves, but largely she’s just gained an appetite. A huge one.
She takes a tortilla chip and scoops up a hearty amount of guac, sighing contentedly as she eats. She eats another, and another, and then pauses.
‘Uh, sorry,’ she says sheepishly, glancing up at Luke. He’s just watching her, an amused smirk on his lips. ‘You want some?’
He snorts. ‘I can order another if you don’t want to share.’
Chloe’s cheeks heat. She shakes her head, pushing the guacamole towards him. ‘I am capable of sharing. Go on.’
And if Chloe watches a little too closely as Luke scoops his chip and eats it, well, neither of them comment on it. They also don’t comment on how Luke slides the bowl of guac back toward her, claiming the complimentary salsa instead.
‘You know,’ Luke says after a moment. He clears his throat, looking almost nervous. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said before, when we were at the pier.’
Chloe tilts her head, trying to remember. ‘Which thing?’ she asks.
‘About…’ Luke shifts in his seat. Chloe’s eyebrows knit together, actually feeling worried because he looks so hesitant to tell her. But she doesn’t push; she just gives him a moment to spit it out. ‘About you helping me get my GED.’
‘Oh,’ Chloe breathes. She brightens at the suggestion. ‘You want to do it?’
He nods. ‘I think it’d be good to get it. I always hated that I had to drop out of school for the band, but I just couldn’t keep up with it on the road. I just—I don’t know. I’m afraid it’s going to be difficult and I’ll fail at it.’ Luke sighs at his admission.
‘You won’t,’ Chloe says fiercely, her heart aching. Luke has such a talent of projecting confidence on stage, but really he doubts himself so much. Chloe wishes there was a way she could show him how smart and capable he really is. Maybe, this could be the first step. ‘You’re gonna do great at this, I just know it.’
Luke doesn’t look quite like he believes her, but smiles anyway. ‘And you’re okay helping me?’
Chloe nods. ‘Of course! I’ll have to look into what exactly you’ll need to do for the test, but we can get started soon if you want. I haven’t done any studying since I graduated college; it’ll be fun!’
Luke’s smile grows. ‘You are such a nerd,’ he says affectionately. Chloe rolls her eyes, ignoring how his tone warms her.
‘Yeah, shut up,’ she mutters, grabbing another tortilla chip. She frowns when her chip scrapes the bottom of the bowl; there’s hardly any guacamole left. God, tears actually well up in her eyes at the pitiful amount of guac on her chip. Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.
‘We’ll order more with our food,’ Luke says before she can say anything. He waves their waitress down, ordering quickly for the two of them before Chloe can start actually crying in this restaurant.
But Luke doesn’t bring any attention to it, instead asking Chloe where she wants to go shopping after they finish eating. She sniffs, eating the pathetically-filled chip, and allows him to distract her.
He really shouldn’t be allowed to be so sweet and thoughtful, she thinks. How could she not have fallen for him? She never had a chance.
During the next week, Luke and Chloe go out almost daily to buy stuff for the nursery. At Home Depot, they choose a pastel green color for the walls. At Target, they find wall decals and framed photos to decorate with. Chloe even spots a little star-themed mobile that she falls in love with.
‘So, this is getting pretty serious, huh?’ Elena asks on the phone one evening. She and Chloe have been talking most nights, staying on the phone until it gets too late in Nashville and Elena has to go to bed. It’s half because Chloe misses her and home so much, and half because Luke is gone again.
Reckless 3 has jumped straight from their tour to working on their next album, and so late-night songwriting sessions have become more common over the past week or so. Chloe understands, but prefers to have Elena on the phone with her while she’s alone.
This house is so big and lonely, she doesn’t know how Luke takes it.
It doesn’t help that Devin doesn’t pick up her phone half the time. Chloe thought that Devin came along to LA for her, but she disappeared pretty much the minute they said goodbye at the airport, and it’s been hard to even get a text back, much less answer the phone. Chloe’s been trying to not let it bother her. Devin’s life doesn’t revolve around her, after all.
Chloe curls up against the decorative pillows on the couch. ‘It’s always been serious, El. We’re having a baby,’ she says, as if Elena needs the reminder.
‘Okay, smartass,’ Elena shoots back. ‘I just mean…this is it, it’s gonna be you, Luke, and the baby out there in LA. Your own little family. It’s weird to think about.’
Chloe frowns. She and Luke still haven’t really discussed logistics. Chloe’s whole life is in Nashville—her friends, her family. And Luke’s life is here. She knows she needs to address it, but honestly she doesn’t want to. It’s a nice fantasy, the three of them together as a family.
She isn’t ready for that fantasy to fizzle out.
Chloe keeps all this to herself, though. Elena will just lecture her about it, about how communication is key and you need to be on the same page, and Chloe doesn’t want to admit that she’s right.
‘I don’t know,’ she says instead. ‘I don’t think being a family is in the cards for us.’
‘What does that mean?’
Chloe sighs, sinking lower into Luke’s plush couch. ‘It’s just…there’s all this pressure on a family, you know? Having a kid is hard enough, but there’s so much more than just that. And Luke and I aren’t in love; we’re not even a couple. I don’t think we could withstand that kind of pressure.’
Elena’s quiet a moment, a sign that she’s really thinking about what she’s going to say next. ‘Not every family is like yours, Chlo.’
Okay, ouch. ‘I know that, but that doesn’t mean those kinds don’t happen. And anyway,’ Chloe huffs, ‘Luke’s family isn’t much better. He doesn’t talk about them, really, besides little comments here and there. They don’t get along. They aren’t even close! I don’t think either of us know what a good family looks like. So how can we give our baby one, then?’
Her last words are a whisper, and Elena matches her when she responds. ‘That doesn’t mean the two of you can’t figure it out together.’
Luke returns home around the time Elena has to go to bed. It’s two hours later in Nashville, after all.
He looks a little surprised to see Chloe still up and in the living room. ‘You’re not in bed yet?’
‘Hello to you, too,’ Chloe replies with a quirk of her eyebrow.
‘Shut up. Hello. I just figured you’d be asleep by now,’ Luke says, coming around the couch to plop down beside her. His knees brushes her own. She pretends she doesn’t notice.
Chloe glances at the clock. ‘It’s only nine o’clock.’
‘The past few days, you’ve been knocked out before I got home. I feel bad sometimes; I should be spending more time with you.’ He pauses, and then adds, ‘I don’t want you to feel like I’m not here for you, you know?’
‘I know you’re here for me,’ Chloe tells him gently. ‘I get it. Really.’
‘We usually have a break between touring and starting the next album,’ he tells her, ‘but I want to get this all done before the baby comes. So I can be here, with both of you.’
‘Here,’ Chloe echoes softly. ‘Here…in LA.’
‘Hm?’
‘Uh, nothing,’ Chloe says, waving off his question. ‘Do you want to study now? I went to the library earlier and checked out pretty much everything they had on the GED. There were some good test prep books that I think will be helpful.’ She nods to the thick stack of books on the coffee table.
Luke winces. ‘Those are…pretty big.’
‘They look worse than they are,’ Chloe assures him. She can’t help but giggle; he does not look like he believes her. So she jumps up and scoops the books into her arms, so high she can hardly see over the top. It’s a good thing her bookstore experience has made her an expert in carrying precarious stacks of books. ‘You’ll see. Wanna work in the kitchen or your office?’
‘Kitchen. Do you need a hand?’ Chloe can’t see Luke, but she’s sure he’s two seconds from swiping all the books from her. She steps back, assuredly out of his reach, and waves him off.
‘I got it!’
Luke looks intimated as he takes a seat at the kitchen table, Chloe’s stack of books looming ominously over him. She pulls Cracking the GED from the top and opens it to one of the tabbed pages she marked earlier.
‘Let’s see how much you can do,’ she tells him, handing him a notebook to work in.
‘But I haven’t studied anything yet!’ Luke protests. Chloe pulls the chair next to him out and sits.
‘That’s the point,’ she explains. ‘This’ll show us what you remember and what you don’t, so we know where to focus. We’ll go over everything anyway. Just try it,’ she adds when he still looks unconvinced.
Even though it’s late, they work for hours, the two of them hunched over the test books.
Luke remembers more from high school than he thought. He’s impressive as a student, really. Chloe mentally rolls her eyes when she thinks of all the times he’s insinuated that he isn’t smart or talented simply because he dropped out of school.
‘That’s it,’ she exclaims, slapping him on the back. She pushes his pencil away from the page before he can change his answer. ‘Don’t second-guess yourself.’
Luke shakes his head and pushes his hair out of his eyes. ‘But?—’
‘No,’ Chloe cuts him off. ‘The only time you should second-guess your answer is if you completely guessed the first time, and only if you can use logic to find the right answer. Now, try this one.’
She taps her finger on an intimidating algebra problem.
‘I don’t know it,’ he says immediately. Chloe takes a breath to keep her cool.
‘Just try. Please?’
He takes one look at her and folds. ‘Fine. If I completely suck, you’re not allowed to make fun of me.’
‘I would never,’ Chloe says firmly. Her hand finds his knee, squeezing slightly until he meets her eyes. She can see the insecurity in his gaze, and can only hope he can see the sincerity in hers. ‘Luke, you should never be embarrassed to not know something; it doesn’t make you dumb. And I will never make a joke out of your mistakes. I’ll just show you how to do it correctly.’
Luke swallows. ‘Okay.’
There’s so much more behind those words, so much Chloe isn’t ready to face. She pats his knees once and lets go.
‘Just try it.’
Chloe stays quiet while he works, sitting back so he doesn’t feel like she’s peering over his shoulder. Instead, she pulls out her phone and pretends to scroll through it while stealing glances at him while he puzzles out the problem.
His tongue proves to be very distracting, poking out the tiniest bit between his lips. Just enough to hold her attention, and to allow her mind to wander.
And boy, does it wander. All the way back to that fateful night, months ago, when he held her close and kissed her so deep her head swam. He certainly knew how to use that tongue and Chloe can’t help but imagine what else he could do with it…
‘Is that right?’
Chloe blinks, the room almost fuzzy as Luke’s words bring her out of her fantasies and back down to Earth.
Luke’s looking at her, his eyebrows furrowed, and for one horrible moment she thinks he somehow knows what she was just thinking about.
‘What?’ Her voice comes out squeaky, and she can feel the blood rush to her cheeks.
Luke pushes his notebook towards her again. ‘Did I get it right?’
Silently cursing herself and her overactive imagination, Chloe takes the notebook from him. Mercifully, he doesn’t call her out on how weird she’s being.
It takes a moment or two for the math to process in Chloe’s brain. ‘Your math is correct, but you made one error…here, see? So the answer’s wrong.’
‘Fuck,’ Luke mutters with a heavy sigh. ‘I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t?—’
‘Hey, don’t you ever say that!’ Chloe’s voice comes out sharper than intended, but she can’t help it. Luke’s eyes widen; he’s never heard her speak like this before. ‘You, Luke Michael Waters, are not stupid and you are not allowed to call yourself that ever. You made one mistake, so what? We’re gonna fix it and then you’ll try again. This is why we practice. Okay?’
‘You know my middle name?’ Chloe rolls her eyes. Of course that’s the thing he gets hung up on.
‘Okay?’
He smiles, small but genuine. ‘Okay. What should I have done here?’
Chloe shakes her head and scoots closer so they can both see the notebook at the same time. She resolutely ignores how her leg presses against Luke’s or how he wraps his arm around the back of her chair so she can lean in closer.
It’s been a while since she’s done algebra, but thankfully it’s easy to recall everything she learned in school and explain to Luke where he went wrong. She sees the moment it clicks in his brain; his eyes brighten and his smile widens, and he grabs his pencil to start correcting himself.
‘That’s it!’ Chloe practically jumps out of her chair when Luke circles the correct answer. ‘You got it!’
Luke lets out a laugh of disbelief, and the next thing Chloe knows, he’s scooping her up into a hug. His laughter and pure relief makes his whole chest shake. Chloe squeals when he lifts her off the ground, kicking her feet behind her until he sets her back down gently.
He pulls back without letting her go, just enough for them to be face-to-face, their noses inches apart. Chloe’s breath catches in her throat, and Luke’s laughter dies down.
For a moment, the world goes perfectly still around them. For all she knows, there might not be anything else on the planet—just her and Luke, here in this kitchen with just one light illuminating them.
He moves closer, so their noses just barely brush, then stops. Waits for her to move, to be the one to take the final step. Chloe’s eyes flutter, wanting to fall shut and slot her mouth against his with ease.
Chloe turns her head instead.
Luke clears his throat, dropping his arms and immediately running a hand through his hair. The moment sufficiently ruined, Chloe grabs the prep book and flips the page.
‘We should keep going,’ she says, staring resolutely at the next practice problem in front of her. ‘You’re doing really well.’ Luke remains silent beside her, and she dares to sneak a glance at him from the corner of her eye.
Emotions swarm inside her chest, swirling around each other like an ugly ball where her heart should be. She pretends she can’t see the grimace on his face or the way his shoulders slump in a silent sigh, instead reminding herself why it would be a terrible idea to just grab him by the shirt and kiss him senseless.
Every day it becomes harder to stay away from him, and care about the why.
Luke sits back down next to her, and Chloe doesn’t comment on how he scoots his chair away. Pretends it doesn’t hurt that he puts a good six inches between them.
When they finish up studying, the night is late and Chloe can’t stop yawning. Thankfully, the tension between them slowly dissipates as the minutes ticks by. She shuts the book, adding it back to her stack so they can continue tomorrow.
‘You’re a really good teacher, you know,’ Luke says quietly. His eyes say something else, but Chloe just smiles and ignores it.
‘Thanks,’ she says. ‘I liked that a lot more than I thought I would. Maybe you’re just a really good student,’ she jokes.
‘No, you’re just really good at explaining everything,’ Luke insists. ‘And I don’t feel dumb when I have to ask for help. That’s huge for me.’
‘Nobody should ever feel dumb asking for help,’ Chloe says firmly. The thought that he’s been made to feel dumb for it makes her heart sink. ‘It’s the only way to better yourself, right?’
Luke smiles fondly, stretching out his long legs in front of him, his shirt riding up just the tiniest bit. Chloe firmly keeps her eyes on his face.
‘You know, you remind me of my third grade English teacher,’ he says, making Chloe giggle. ‘She was warm and understanding, and just great at figuring out what her students needed. Just like you.’
Chloe’s breath hitches at his words. They hit something deep inside her, resonating hard. Maybe it’s the late hour or the fact that Chloe still wants to kiss him (she always wants to kiss him) or something else altogether. But she can’t help but think Luke might have a point. This…this could be it for her. Maybe, just maybe, she is good at teaching.
‘What’s going on in that head of yours?’ Luke asks, poking her side lightly. She shakes her head to bring herself back to Earth, and to Luke.
‘Just…that teaching might not be a bad career path.’
‘Yeah?’ he says, a slow grin on his face. His eyes practically sparkle with excitement—excitement for her.
Maybe this path could actually be the right one.