5. Chapter 5
Mackenzie
T he breeze blows my hair across my face, and I use my free hand to tuck it behind my ear. Tal is walking me to the tracks halfway to my house, telling me all about the latest fantasy book he’s reading.
I prefer a mystery or romance, but listening to Tal talk about the creatures and their powers is exciting.
Maybe it’s because it’s him, though.
He pauses to dig through his backpack and produces a lined piece of paper with doodles on it. The biggest sketch is of a dragon’s body with three heads—a horse, a cow, and a pig.
A giggle bursts out of my throat. “What inspired this?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know, I just wondered what a dragon with the heads of different animals would look like, so I drew it myself.”
“You’re really talented, Tal. This is a bit creepy, though.”
His cheeks turn red. “I didn’t think it’d look as weird as it does. Do you hate it? ”
“Not at all. It’s just a little… off-putting. But you know I like your art. Do you have anything else?”
Tal pulls out another paper, this one depicting some type of princess. The girl looks familiar, and—
My eyes shoot up to his. “Is this me? ”
Tal nods, scratching the back of his neck. “I got a little distracted during science. They had us watch a movie since there was a substitute, my pencil kind of took on a mind of its own…”
Something soft and gooey flows through me at his admission. He’s always doing simple, sweet stuff like this, stealing another piece of my heart every time.
I hold the paper to my chest. “Can I keep it?”
He gives me a dimpled grin. “Really?” I nod. “Of course, Firefly.”
Talmage and I have existed in the same city for who knows how long, and I hadn’t run into him once until my accident three weeks ago. But now? It seems to be a weekly occurrence for us.
First the car accident, then the burger place last week, and this week it’s the grocery store.
I don’t like talking to people in the store, so I wear headphones and go early on Sunday mornings to avoid the crowds. I’ve shopped at the same time every Sunday for over a year, and I’ve never seen the fire department here at the same time .
But there they are, dressed in their uniforms, with three freaking grocery carts full of food. I’m trying to avoid them, but they apparently like to divide and conquer, so every fucking aisle I go down, I find a firefighter, and my heart skips a beat every time wondering if it’s him.
None of them have tried to talk to me, so I figured Talmage isn’t part of the group.
I’m reaching for a box of cereal, and of course they moved it to the very top shelf. I’m only five-foot-five, so it’s not like I can reach. I’m also not a small girl, so climbing on the shelves isn’t a good idea.
I’m looking around for an associate or a tall person when a familiar blonde turns into the aisle with one of his buddies. I look away immediately but not before seeing Talmage’s mouth twist into a grin.
Do I just leave the cereal and face the wrath of the twins?
Before I can answer my own question, there’s a gentle tap on my shoulder.
I reluctantly take my headphones off and turn towards the two men.
“Hey, Mack. Fancy seeing you here. Do you need help with something?” Talmage asks.
I shake my head.
“You sure, doll? You looked like you were trying to get something on the top shelf. I’m happy to help you out,” his buddy offers with a flirtatious smirk.
Now, I’m not immune to a man in uniform, and Talmage’s friend isn’t terrible looking with his slightly shaggy brown hair, light brown eyes, and clean-shaven face, but he’s not my type .
Apparently, I only have it bad for blonde guys with mustaches and clear blue eyes.
“Enoch, stop flirting with Mack.” Talmage smacks him on the shoulder.
“I was just offering her some help! Can’t help I’m a natural flirt when it comes to pretty women.” Enoch throws a wink my way, and to my absolute horror, my cheeks flush.
“Good grief.” Talmage pinches the bridge of his nose. “Mack, is there something you need from the top shelf I can help you reach?”
I guess now I don’t have to find a store associate. “Um. That cereal, please.” I point to the box I want, and Talmage reaches up and grabs it with ease. His extra six inches makes all the difference, apparently.
“Thanks,” I say, tossing the box in my basket. “Uh, happy shopping. See you around.”
I start to push my cart towards the opposite end of the aisle when I hear Talmage call, “Mack, wait up!”
Heaving a sigh, I reluctantly stop and turn around.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner sometime.”
Ummmm. What?
“Why?”
He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks pinkening. “Well, we haven’t seen each other since graduation, and I think it’d be nice to catch up. Reminisce about high school.”
I would rather saw off my big toe with a rusty kitchen knife than reminisce about high school.
“Uh, sure. I mean, my schedule is pretty busy, though, so it might be a while before I can find some free time. ”
Talmage’s smile widens. “That’s totally fine. Can I get your number so we can plan a time that works with both our schedules?” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me.
I blink at it like I’ve never seen a cell phone in my life.
What is happening right now?
First, he follows me on Instagram—I don’t even want to think about why I accepted his request—and now he wants my number? I feel like I’ve entered some alternate timeline.
I put my contact information in his phone and hand it back to him.
“Thanks, Mack. I’m really excited. I’ll text you soon, and we can make a plan. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.”
Then, he moves like he’s going in for a hug but decides he shouldn’t, so he kind of hovers in the air with his arms out before he brings them down and holds his hand out for a fist bump.
I bump my fist with his, he turns back to his friend, and I return to my grocery shopping.
I’m not expecting him to text me. He’s probably just being friendly.
That is, until I check my phone when I get in the car, and I have a message.
Unknown: Hey Mack! smile emoji This is Talmage. I just wanted you to have my number in case you need anything. I’ll text you about dinner soon. Have a wonderful Sunday! sun emoji smile emoji
It’s been four days since the run-in with Talmage, and he’s texted me every day since. Sometimes, it’s just a simple hope you’re having a good day! Other days, he asks how I’m doing.
I don’t know what to make of it, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
It’s almost 7 p.m., and I haven’t heard from him at all. I feel like a fucking teenager again, checking my phone to see if he’s texted me. Half hoping he hasn’t so I can get my head on straight and half hoping he has because I like his attention more than I care to admit.
I don’t think Talmage has a mean bone in his body, so I don’t think he’s playing mind games, but I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what the hell his motivations are.
Why is he so insistent now when there’s been radio silence since we graduated?
He barely acknowledged my existence before that .
The girls and I have already had dinner, and I’m settled in the bath with my Kindle and a mug of chamomile tea when my phone rings.
I’m expecting it to be Lizzie since she’s the only one who ever calls me, so I don’t look at the caller ID before I answer. “Hey, hot stuff, how’s it going?”
There’s a pause, and then the sound of someone clearing their throat.
Oh, no. No. No. No.
“Uhh hi, Mack,” Talmage says with an awkward chuckle. “Expecting your boyfriend to call?”
I mentally slap my forehead. “No, I was expecting Lizzie to call. I’m so sorry.”
“You and Lizzie are dating?”
Jesus Christ.
“Uhhhh no. We just answer the phone like that sometimes.”
“Oh. I’m glad to see you two are still so close.”
Lizzie and I have been best friends since our sophomore year of high school. Sometimes I forget she and Talmage know each other since we were all in choir and theatre together.
“Yeah, she’s been a lifesaver.” Literally.
“That’s good. I was just calling to see if you were available Saturday night. I’m not working and was hoping we could get dinner.”
“I’m actually working Saturday night.”
“Oh? Where do you work?”
“Well, I have two jobs.” Why am I telling him this? “I work as a bid desk specialist for a tech company during the week and then pick up shifts as a bartender at Great and Spacious. ”
“Oh.” I don’t like that I can’t read his tone. Most Mormons get judgy when they hear I’m a bartender. Alcohol being against the rules and all that. “That’s cool. What time does your shift start?”
“Uh, six?” I don’t know why I pose it as a question. I know my own damn schedule.
“Well, what about lunch, then? Or breakfast? I’m free any time on Saturday.” Why does he sound so eager? Why is he so hellbent on going out with me? What does he want?
Why is the universe being such a bitch? Haven’t I been through enough? Can’t I just… forget about my teenage love and move on?
Apparently not. And apparently, I’m a masochist.
“Lunch works, but I probably only have an hour or so. How about one?” That should give me enough time to have lunch, freak out about having lunch with him, then get ready for work while I dissect every single thing that happens at lunch.
“Sounds great! Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?”
My budget wants me to stay in and eat ramen. I can probably splurge a little on lunch.
“I’m not picky,” I say instead of burdening him with my financial crisis.
“How does Valley Baker sound?”
“That sounds great.” And cheap.
“Amazing. I’m looking forward to it. I’ll let you get on with your night. Sweet dreams, Mack.”
“Yeah, thanks. You, too, Talmage.”
I hang up before he can say anything else, smacking my head lightly with my phone .
I chug the rest of the chamomile, hoping it will knock me out so I won’t have dreams about the fireman with the shiny blue eyes and the brightest smile I’ve ever seen.
I know it won’t work though. Even when I was taking sleep medication that was basically a tranquilizer, I couldn’t escape the dreams.
Except, this isn’t a dream. This is—somehow—my reality.
What does Talmage want from me anyway? Is this some kind of pity thing? I’m sure he’s heard about my parents by now. It’s been five years, though, so why would he be trying to get in contact now?
The sharp sting of grief hits me right in the chest like it always does when I think of my parents.
Of how alone I felt when they died. How confused I was dealing with the funeral arrangements and stepping into a guardian role for the twins.
How a small part of me wished Talmage would have reached out then, to offer his big bear hugs that always seemed to calm me when we were friends.
It’s been thirteen years, Mack. You can’t keep holding on to the past.
But how am I supposed to let go when the past has come back to haunt me?