17. Chapter 17
Talmage
I don’t know much about the technical terms of dance, but I know I’m mesmerized watching Mack spin and leap across the stage. The way her movements flow together?
Breathtaking.
She looks beautiful in her costume, and I can’t stop staring at her.
During her first group number, I tried to watch the other girls, but they never held my attention for more than a few seconds because Mack is the only one I can focus on.
I love her so much.
I’ve heard the song she’s dancing to before but not like this.
Did she think of me when she picked this song?
I hope so. Because I’ll be listening to it on repeat and thinking of her.
My teenage dream.
When the song ends and she walks off the stage, I crane my neck to get every last glimpse of her I can .
“Isn’t she incredible?” Her mom’s voice is filled with pride. Even the twins are watching their sister with rapt attention.
“Incredibly incredible,” I say, then cringe at how silly that sounds.
“She’s been working so hard. Dancing in the living room, downstairs in the family room, staying late at the studio. She said it needed to be perfect because it’s important to her.”
“Well, she nailed it. I would give her a twenty out of ten if I were judging.”
Angie and Lyle chuckle, and Lyle reaches past Angie to pat me on the shoulder. “You’re a good one, Talmage. Thanks for treating her so well.”
I’m getting married today.
To Mackenzie Thorpe.
My first kiss, my first love, and the girl of my dreams.
I just wish my parents could be here to see it—to support me.
My mom called me a week after our disagreement and asked if I had changed my mind about marrying “that Thorpe girl.”
I told her no, I’m confident in my decision, and I hoped they could come and be supportive. Be happy for me—for us .
She told me she was disappointed in me, and she hoped I got my head on straight soon and thought about the eternal repercussions. To think about what I want my forever to look like.
I told her I’ve never had a clearer head. I know what I want from my life, and I’m finally going after it. My life doesn’t revolve around the arbitrary rules of the church anymore.
She hung up after, but that’s okay. I still think she’ll come around after she has some time to process.
I can only imagine how hard it is when your oldest son leaves the only religion he’s ever known and marries a girl you’re not a fan of—which I don’t fully understand.
I don’t get why she’s still holding a grudge.
It’s just a shame she and my dad won’t be here for what’s sure to be the greatest day of my life.
Today, I get to marry the love of my life with my best friends and her sisters by our side. I reached out to Thomas and Lauren to see if they wanted to come, but they both said they weren’t sure if they wanted to deal with the blowback from Mom.
I expected it, but it still stung a little. I’d hoped they’d want to support me.
That’s okay, though. I’m sure things with them will calm down, too. As soon as Mom comes around, everything will go back to normal.
I’m standing in the lobby of the Utah County Passport and Marriage Office with Nathan and Enoch, and I’m wishing we planned for a different location. This doesn’t exactly scream “romantic” with the drab wood floor, gray walls, and fluorescent lighting.
Mack and I will have a bigger, better ceremony or party later on. I’m going to make sure of it.
The front doors open, and—like every time they’ve opened in the last few minutes—my eyes track to the entrance hoping to see Mack.
Only, it’s not Mack who enters. It’s her sisters, dressed in identical pale pink dresses with the hem falling to their knees in a flowy material and the sleeves cuffing at the wrists. They look cute, like they’re going to a school dance with their hair in braided crowns around their heads.
Lizzie walks in next in a simple black slip dress with a lace undershirt and hot pink cowgirl boots that match the shade of her lipstick and the pink of her hair.
“Dude. Who is that?” Enoch whispers, smacking me on the shoulder.
“Mack’s best friend, Lizzie.”
“She looks like she’d absolutely destroy my heart. I think I’m in love.”
“Please don’t. I don’t want to have to pick my wife over you if things go wrong. And they will. You two are total opposites.”
My best friend scoffs, running his hand through his shaggy brown hair, leaving it looking tousled in a way I know women go crazy for. “You’d pick your wife over me?”
“Any day of the week,” I trail off, because I see her. My wife.
Looking like a literal angel.
Her hair is in soft waves with half of it pulled back away from her face, and her make up is simple but elegant, the shimmery eyeshadow on her lids makes her eyes glimmer in the light.
But the dress…
The dress!
The bottom half of it looks like plain white satin flowing over her wide hips and down to her nude-colored flats, but the top…
The top.
It has long sleeves with white lace, floral beading accents on the cuffs, and beading over the bodice. The front dips down between her breasts in a way that makes me think she’s not wearing a bra.
Don’t think about that. This is a pure, happy, innocent moment. She doesn’t have to wear a bra if she doesn’t want to. Don’t be a creep.
I have to swallow the lump in my throat three times before I can finally speak, and when I finally do, it comes out hoarse. “Mack, you look…”
“It’s too much, isn’t it? I told them this was too much for a courthouse ceremony, but it was on sale and—”
I gently grab her hand, halting her rambling. “ No . No, you look… breathtaking, Mack. That’s not even a strong enough word for how incredible you look . ”
“Thank you,” she says breathily. “You look… really good, too.”
I’m wearing a simple black suit with a green tie that matches the shade of her ring. I look like I’m wearing casual clothes compared to her.
“EW. Can you two stop looking at each other like that?” Kinsley punctuates her question with a pretend gag.
Mack rolls her eyes .
“Get used to it, they’re going to be eye-fucking each other twenty-four-seven, kid.” Lizzie chuckles, nudging Kinsley with her elbow.
My face flames—both at the casual use of the curse word and the mental image it conjures.
Harper covers her mouth and giggles as Kinsley groans. Nathan’s face is as red as mine, and Enoch is staring at Lizzie with hearts in his brown eyes.
“Is the Monson-Thorpe party ready?” a woman at the front desk of the courthouse calls.
I offer my arm to Mack, and she places her hand on my bicep. We lead our little group towards them.
“We’re here,” I announce.
The woman glances up from her clipboard. “Great. Follow me.”
We follow her down a carpeted hallway to an open door. “Deputy Clerk Higgins will be performing your ceremony today. Who are your witnesses?”
Lizzie and Enoch step forward.
“Great, we’ll get your signatures after the ceremony.”
The room looks like your standard conference room with a big table and a few rolling chairs.
At the front of the room stands a tall, gangly man with dark rectangular glasses and a very pronounced widow’s peak.
He’s wearing a blue sweater over a white collared shirt and a pair of khakis.
Not exactly what I imagined our officiant to be wearing, but that’s okay.
All that matters is by the end of this, Mack will be my wife.
He gives a beaming smile when he sees us enter the room. “You must be the happy couple! Let’s get this going so you guys can get out of here and celebrate. If you’ll just give me your full names, I can jot them down in my little speech.”
“Talmage George Monson and Mackenzie Thorpe,” I answer.
“Great!” He scribbles our names on the little paper he’s holding. “Your party can take their seats in the vacant chairs, and I’ll have you two stand here, and here.” He points to either side of him, and we all take our spots.
Mr. Higgins clears his throat. “We’re here today to witness the union of Talmage George Monson and Mackenzie Thorpe in marriage.
Today, you begin a new life together, founded in love, laughter, honesty, respect, and friendship.
The promises you make to each other today should not be taken lightly.
A marriage is more than a ceremony or a piece of paper—it’s a lasting and lifelong commitment. ”
My stomach drops. This marriage technically isn’t one founded in love and honesty. Mack’s lips turn down, and I know she’s thinking the same thing.
Our officiant continues, unaware of our thoughts, “The future promises many happy days ahead, filled with adventures and challenges. Through trust, love, and unwavering support for each other, you will be able to weather the inevitable ups and downs to come.
“Do you, Talmage George Monson, take Mackenzie Thorpe to be your spouse and to live as one team, to treat her with love and respect, and build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as the years pass?”
Why do I want to cry right now?
“Absolutely, without a doubt, yes,” I croak out, hoping tears don’t fall from my eyes .
He turns to Mack. “Do you, Mackenzie Thorpe, take Talmage George Monson to be your spouse and to live as one team, to treat him with love and respect, and build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as the years pass?”
“Yes, I do,” Mack whispers, staring me directly in the eyes. Her own are wide and vulnerable, and I wish right now I could read what’s going on in her head. Is she regretting this? Surely not, since she said yes. Right?
“If you have rings, please take them out now.”
Lizzie stands and hands Mack a ring, and Enoch hands me the band I bought for Mack.
“These rings represent the promises and potential of marriage. It has no beginning and no end, just like the love and commitment you have pledged. As you wear your rings, let them remind you of the love you feel for one another. Mackenzie, please place the ring on Talmage’s finger, and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion.
As we join our lives together, today, tomorrow, and for as long as our love will last.”
Mack’s shaking hands slip the gold ring on my finger as she repeats the promises, and my heart swells to the point of pain. When she removes her fingers from the ring, I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack because it’s not just a plain gold band.
There’s a small sliver of moss agate in the middle of the band—an exact match to the gem in her ring.
I look between my ring and her, and she gives me a small shrug as if to say “no big deal.” But it is a big deal.
Hope floats around in my chest and inflates my lungs. She could have picked a generic ring, but she picked one that matches hers and has meaning. You don’t do that for a marriage you don’t want to last.
Maybe there’s a real chance for us after all.
“Talmage, please place your ring on Mackenzie’s finger and repeat the same vows.”
I slide the gold band on her finger, and it sits perfectly on top of her other one, just like I knew it would. I say the same words Mack said to me, my voice cracking from the sheer amount of emotion I feel.
“True marriage is more than a piece of paper. It is a lasting bond joining two lives—two hearts—forever. May you always find strength in each other, laugh with each other, and find safety, comfort, joy, and love in each other’s company.
Celebrate the highs and support each other when things are difficult. Continue to grow closer with each year.
“By the authority vested in me by the State of Utah, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss! Congratulations.”
As soon as the word “kiss” is said, I practically lunge for Mack.
She doesn’t hesitate at all as our lips meet in a kiss that feels like sealing a promise. Her lips are soft against mine as I cup her face and pour every emotion I’m feeling into the kiss.
I hope she can feel the love I have for her, the silent vow I’m making to never give up on us. I meant every word that came out of my mouth. This isn’t a deal born of convenience, but something I’ve been searching for my whole life.
“All right, you two. This is a public building. I don’t think Deputy Clerk Higgins wants to arrest you for public indecency.” Lizzie breaks the haze of our kiss, and I force myself to pull away from Mack.
Even though my face is flushed with embarrassment at getting carried away, I still shrug with as much nonchalance as I can. “What can I say? I can’t get enough of my wife.”