35. Chapter 35
Mackenzie
I ’m sitting in the back row of the crowded chapel, the cold metal of the folding chairs against my thighs grounding me in my anxiety.
Lizzie couldn’t come with me today since she’s working, but I needed to be here. Needed to see him one last time before whatever ties we have are well and truly severed.
I was supposed to be leaving for college next month, starting my new adult life, but after everything happened, I can’t move yet.
I glance around and see some familiar faces—former castmates and choir members, mostly. I know many of the guys have already left on their missions, but the few who haven’t are sitting up front.
No one’s talked to me, which is fine. I chopped my hair, dyed it purple, pierced my septum, and I’m wearing more makeup than I usually do. Maybe I’m too unrecognizable.
I don’t look like I belong here and anyone else would agree .
I haven’t stepped foot in a church in almost two years. My parents were disappointed at first, but I couldn't handle the pressure put on me by the young women leaders to lose weight or stay pure when I knew I was already tainted and tarnished.
The sacrament portion is done, and I know from the program currently crumpled in my lap Talmage is speaking first.
After the bishop announces the speakers, Talmage stands at the pulpit and begins talking about the importance of staying on the path of righteousness. How Satan will throw temptations in our path to make us stray but to focus on God because He knows all.
Tears burn behind my eyes, but I hold them back. His voice, so familiar, used to be a comfort. Now, it’s reiterating the fact I was nothing more than a trial on his way to salvation.
When he’s done talking, I get up and quietly leave the church building.
As soon as I’m in my car, the tears stream steadily down my face.
This was a good thing.
Now I can finally let Talmage Monson go.
This is the best night of my life .
After pining for Talmage for years and spending the last month wishing I could have him like this, it’s better than any of my fantasies.
Sex has always been transactional in the past. Yes, I’ve enjoyed it and have had a few good experiences with past hookups, but nothing compares to the connection Tal and I are forging right now.
It has nothing to do with him being a virgin or the fact I’ve been pretty much celibate for the past five years.
Even if he had more experience or I’d been having sex in the recently, being together for the first time like this would be life-altering and soul-changing.
The connection we share, the invisible string tying us together even when we were apart is too strong to ever fully break, and it heightens everything.
Every kiss, every touch of his tentative fingers, every swipe of his eager tongue is amplified because this has been fourteen years in the making, and the fire is burning brighter than ever now that we’ve acknowledged the flames.
His lips keep tipping up in the corners as his tongue traces the curves of my breasts and the silver balls on the ends of my nipple rings.
I don’t think he realizes his hips are slowly thrusting, the head of his cock nudging my pussy with each pass, and I know if he just pushed a tiny bit harder, he’d slip right inside.
The sounds of pure bliss coming from his mouth make me wetter than I’ve ever been. Watching him— tasting him —fall apart in my mouth was the hottest experience of my life. I can’t wait to watch him fall apart while inside me.
“I want to taste you, Mack. Can I taste you again? I’m thirsty for it. Let me feel you come on my tongue again. ”
God, he’s so eager, and I hate to deny him, but if I don’t have him inside me soon, I just might perish.
“I need to feel you inside me, Tal. I feel so empty without you.”
He swallows harshly as his eyes track to his cock and how close to my pussy it is. “Co-condoms. Do we have any?”
“Yes. But I-I can’t have kids. Um, and I haven’t touched anyone in five years. I know you haven’t either, so I was hoping…” I trail off, hoping he doesn’t ask for any clarification.
A half whimper, half moan rumbles in his chest. “No barrier. Okay. Not that I know the difference, but I’ve heard it feels even better. If you’re sure…”
“I want to feel you, all of you, Talmage. Make love to me,” I whisper the last part, cupping his cheek and pulling his face down to kiss me.
I snake one hand between us and grip the base of his cock, guiding it to my entrance until the head notches at my opening.
“Ooooh gosh, Mack. You’re so wet. So warm. Shit. ”
“Take it as slow as you need to, Tal,” I coo, rubbing my hands up and down the straining muscles on his back.
His eyes pinch shut as he thrusts forward just the tiniest bit. The head of his cock stretches me the perfect amount, and I moan softly. “I want you to feel good, too,” he grits out.
“Anything you do will make me feel good, Talmage. Don’t worry about me, okay? This is about you right now.”
His eyes pop open, glassy and alight with so many emotions it forms a knot in my throat. He hangs his head, watching where we’re connected and in one smooth glide, thrusts all the way inside me until his pubic hair tickles my clit. I moan again, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
It’s cheesy and cliché to think, but I swear, Talmage Monson was made for me, and I was made for him. He fills me perfectly, I already know nothing and no one will ever compare to this.
“Oh-sh-fu- damn it, Mack. You feel incredible—ah!” I clench around him, and he whimpers. “D-don’t do that again or else I’ll come.”
“Come inside me, Tal. You’ve already left your mark on my heart, now claim me as yours by filling me with your cum.”
“You have a dirty mouth,” he gasps, pulling back and thrusting in again.
“Does it bother you?” I moan when his head drags across my G-spot.
“No— oh shit —I love it.” Talmage glances up so he’s looking me in the eye. “I love you , Mackenzie Thorpe.”
Tears burn behind my eyelids as the weight of what this means settles inside of me. There’s no going back now. We’re together, for real, for however long we live. “I love you, too, Talmage Monson. I never stopped.”
He turns his face and kisses my palm. “I’m going to start moving faster now, is that okay?”
“Do whatever feels best, Bear.”
He takes a deep breath, pulling out and thrusting into me, gradually increasing his pace, chasing his orgasm. It’s a little uncoordinated and a bit choppy, but I’ve never experienced greater pleasure than Talmage Monson losing himself in sex .
I use two fingers to circle my clit, giving myself the extra friction I need as our moans fill the room, and our desire becomes one.
“I’m going to come, Mack.”
“Give it to me, Tal. Give me your cum,” I moan, increasing the speed of my fingers so I can finish with him.
He chants my name as sweat beads on his forehead, and when his motions become jerky and uneven, I tip right over the edge with him, feeling him spill everything he has inside of me.
I expect him to collapse on top of me from the exertion, but instead, he stays seated inside me and crashes his mouth against mine, twisting our tongues together in a sloppy tango.
“Can I taste you now?” he whispers against my lips.
“But you just—”
“I need to know what we taste like together.”
I’ve never been with a man who wants to taste his own cum, let alone one who sounds so eager to do it, so I just nod.
Tal pulls out, and I feel the rush of cum leak from me. I thought since he already came—twice—he’d be spent, but I was wrong.
He kisses down my body, flicking my nipple rings again—I can already tell it’s going to be a common occurrence—before he settles between my thighs.
God, the mere sight of him between them has me aching to come again. I’m afraid now that we’ve crossed this line, we’re never going to be able to keep our hands off each other.
I can’t wait .
Tal’s thumb swipes through the cum leaking out of me before pushing it back inside. He looks like he’s in a trance, mesmerized by the way it looks to be full of him.
I wish I could see it. I have half a mind to ask him to take a picture so I can keep it as a memento of our first time.
Without any warning, Talmage swipes his tongue up my slit, moaning as our combined flavor hits his tongue. “So good,” he groans before doing it again, this time taking the time to swirl his tongue around my clit.
“Oh, fuck, Tal. Feels so good.” I reach down and grab at his hair, needing to feel him in every way possible.
I’m greedy now that I’ve had him. I’ll never get enough.
He looks up from between my legs. “Do you want to know what we taste like together?”
I nod rapidly. I’ve never been one to crave the taste of cum—I actually think it’s kind of gross—but swallowing Tal’s? It was euphoric. I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I can only imagine how perfect we’ll taste mixed together.
Tal puts two fingers inside me, caressing my walls and making me whimper before pulling them out and putting them to my lips.
I don’t waste any time sucking them into my mouth. I moan when the flavor hits my taste buds. Tal was right, we taste good together. Perfect.
“I need to make you come, Mack. Can I?”
I sit up to reassure him I don’t need to come again, and that’s when I see it.
He’s hard again.
Still ?
“Tal, you’re still hard?”
The tips of his ears turn pink, and he looks at me with a sheepish expression. “Well, can you blame me when you look like that and we taste so good together? How can I not be ready to go again?”
I shake my head and giggle. How someone can be so sexy and so sweet at the same time, I’ll never know.
“Can I show you my favorite position?” I ask, and he nods. I flip over so I’m on all fours, glancing back at him over my shoulder.
“Uh, Mack? I may not be super experienced, but I don’t think I can just… stick it in this hole. Won’t that hurt?”
“What? Oh! No, Tal. I mean, we can try anal another time if you want, but you can reach my pussy from back there. Just trust me.”
“If you say so.”
“Just kneel, scoot a little closer—there you go, now grab the base of that glorious cock and find the— yessss. That’s so good, Tal. You fill me so perfectly.” He presses in slowly, tentatively, and at this angle, he hits that perfect spot head on.
“You feel even tighter like this, Firefly. How is that even possible?” he grits out, clearly trying to keep it together. I’m hoping since he already came twice, he can last just a bit longer so I can come on his cock again.
“I know you wanted to make love, Tal, but I need you to fuck me hard in this position, okay?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t, I promise. It’ll make us both feel good. ”
He pulls out, leaving just the tip in before slamming back into me, and the pleasure fizzing through my veins is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
“ Yes. Fuck, yes. Right there, don’t stop.”
“Couldn’t if I tried. You feel too good. So right. So perfect. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Bear. Please. ” I don’t know what I’m begging for, but Tal must understand because he keeps a steady pace as he thrusts inside me. My ass bounces off of his abs, and my nipples chafe deliciously against the blanket, adding to the sensation.
Tal’s hands grip my hips, and I know he’ll feel bad if he leaves marks, but I want them. I want proof of our first—well, second—time together etched in my skin.
“Tal, I’m right there. Please don’t stop.”
“Give it to me, Firefly. You said I marked you as mine, but I’ve been yours all along.
I’ve got your name tattooed on me forever, and it’s still not enough.
I need your pleasure, too. I love you so damn much it hurts sometimes.
You’re so perfect. So beautiful. Being with you in this way is the holiest experience I’ve ever had, and not a day will go by that I won’t want to worship you the way you deserve. ”
His heartfelt words are what send me spiraling off the cliff and have tears slipping down my cheeks. My orgasm feels like being baptized—all the hurt I’ve been carrying is washed away, leaving me open to receive the love Talmage is willing to give me.