42. Chapter 42
Mackenzie
W ith tears welling in my eyes, I throw myself on the bed.
Things have to get easier, right?
Two years should be enough time to get my shit together and get used to being the caretaker of two teenagers.
But I still feel like I’m drowning.
The chains of grief haven’t loosened at all, and at any moment, the shackles will tighten, and the weight of everything will drag me under completely.
The only reason I’ve stayed is because of the twins. They’ve already lost their parents, if I were to give in to the hopelessness, they’d be tossed around the system for the next five years, and I can’t do that to them.
As if she has a sixth sense for when everything’s too much and I need her, Lizzie texts me.
LIZZIE: I’m coming over with pizza and wine.
MACK: K. Door’s unlocked.
I wouldn’t survive without her—wouldn’t be here without her. Even in the midst of her busy schedule, she always makes time to check in. She never pushes me, never tries to get me to talk about more than I’m willing to. She’s been my rock through this transition.
I feel like a shitty friend in comparison.
Wiping the tears that have surely smeared my makeup, I splash my face with cold water before I head back upstairs to wait for Lizzie.
Kinsley and Harper are in their rooms, studying or something, I don’t know.
We’ve slowly made progress and started building a foundation of trust, but I know it’ll take time.
Our family therapist has been a godsend with helping us learn to communicate with each other in the midst of dealing with the grief of losing our parents.
I open mail while I wait for Lizzie. Seeing my parents' names on the envelopes makes my chest pinch with devastation. They should be here. They should be opening these. They should be the ones going to Harper’s doctors’ appointments because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
But they aren’t here.
And they won’t be coming back.
I wasn’t prepared to get misty-eyed today, but witnessing Hannah—looking absolutely stunning in a white mini dress embroidered with little golden butterflies—and Morgan tearing up while reading each other their vows?
Cue the fucking waterworks.
Hannah and Morgan’s three little girls are in matching pale blue dresses sitting on the laps of an older couple, who I assume are Morgan’s parents.
The oldest girl, who looks to be around ten, keeps wiping her eyes.
From what Tal told me, Morgan and Hannah both had rough relationships prior to meeting, and their story is full of ups and downs.
I’m happy they found each other.
Emma ended up next to me and is sniffling, too. Her fiancè pulls a pack of tissues from his pocket and passes them to her, and she passes one to me.
Vows are exchanged and the couple kisses, everyone claps and cheers, then they take their seats at the head of the table.
Tal squeezes my thigh under the table, and when I look up at him, his blue gaze is a little watery. “I want to do something like this. Something small and intimate with our closest friends,” he whispers.
“Me, too.”
Emma leans over and points a finger at Talmage. “If you don’t invite me to your vow renewal, I’m gonna be upset.”
Tal grins and shakes his head. “Don’t worry, you’re invited. As long as we’re invited to your wedding.”
“Duh.” Emma rolls her eyes.
“Have you set a date yet?” I ask as a server brings out the appetizers .
Emma shakes her head. “Not yet. Someone was impatient and proposed way earlier than I expected, so we haven’t discussed a date.”
“Don’t set it for next June,” Tal’s other cousin, Elli, chimes in with a big smile.
“Ah! Did you finally decide on yours?” Emma squeals.
Elli nods. “We’re sending out save the dates when we get back.”
“Aw, guys, we’re all going to be married. Look at us, being happy even though everyone said we wouldn't be.” Emma sighs. “Mackenzie, were you Mormon?” I nod, and Emma grins. “We’re happy you’re part of our black sheep crew, then. Ooo, we should make T-shirts!”
Tal snorts. “I’m sure that’ll go over well at the next Monson family reunion.”
Everyone laughs, then the conversation shifts.
Emma, Wes, and I trade tattoo stories, and Elli and Emma tell me how they met their fiancés. Wes and Ben are a bit more reserved, letting their fiancées chatter away and catch up with everyone, but the way they look at them, it’s clear they’re head over heels.
Talmage keeps his hand on me in some way—on my thigh, wrapped around my own, or on my back—and when our eyes meet, the heat in them makes my whole body light up.
After dinner, the restaurant staff clears the tables to form a makeshift dance floor. Morgan’s parents say goodbye so they can take their kids home for bedtime.
The songs playing are reminiscent of a high school dance, and when “Thinking Out Loud ” by Ed Sheeran starts playing, Tal pulls me in, wrapping his arms around my waist and side stepping while he sings along softly to the lyrics.
I didn’t realize how healing it would be, dancing with him like this, but I find myself blinking back tears.
Tal and I never got to go to a dance together other than the one time.
I could have asked him to a dance in high school, but I was scared of rejection.
Having his arms wrapped around my waist and my arms resting on his shoulders, it stitches together another piece of my frayed heart.
“What’s on your mind, Firefly?” Tal whispers against my hairline.
“How we didn’t get to dance like this in high school. I’m grateful we get to now.”
He squeezes my hip. “Me, too. If I could go back—”
I put a finger to his lips. “There’s no point in wishing we could go back and change the past. The important thing is we’re together now. Against all odds, we found our way back to each other.”
Tal smiles. “And I’m never letting you go.” He presses a quick kiss to my lips. “Have I told you how stunning you look in this dress?”
“Maybe once,” I tease, pressing myself against him, feeling the slight bulge of his erection against my belly.
Tal groans. “That’s my bad. I need to tell you a thousand more times how absolutely gorgeous you are. I’ve been half-hard all damn night thinking about all the things I want to do once we get home and I can peel you out of this dress.”
“Why wait?”
“What? ”
“Wanna be a little adventurous, Bear? Take me to the bathroom and show me how much you want me.” I graze a knuckle over his cock, and he shudders.
The song is about to end, and a quick glance around the room shows everyone is distracted.
Tal doesn’t say anything, just grabs my hand and quickly walks towards the sign pointing to the restroom.
I can’t help the giggle that breaks free when he opens the door to the family restroom and drags me in, locking the door and immediately pinning me against it.
“Is this okay?” he rasps, his lips a breath away from mine.
“Yeah, Bear. Show me how much you want me.”
Tal’s lips crash against mine desperately, like he’s been waiting all night to kiss me. I love how needy he can be, how unabashed he is with his desire. How wanted he makes me feel.
He trails kisses down my jaw and neck, running his nose along my jawline and inhaling. “Why do you always smell so good? I swear I could live off your scent alone,” he moans, nipping at the juncture where my neck meets my shoulder.
He doesn't let me answer, though. He kisses me again, invading my mouth with his tongue and rucking the skirt of my dress around my hips before cupping my pussy through my underwear. He pulls my panties to the side and runs one finger through my lips, teasing my clit with slow circles.
When he pulls away to watch where he’s touching me, I let out a soft moan. “Are you going to fuck me against the door, Tal? Can you be quiet while you fill me with your cock? We wouldn’t want anyone to hear us. ”
Tal whimpers as his fingers falter. “I need to taste you first.” He drops to his knees, helps me out of my panties, then shoves them in his pocket.
My head hits the bathroom door as his mouth latches onto my pussy, swirling his tongue through the wetness like he’s lapping up his favorite dessert. I thread my fingers through his hair, keeping his mouth where I need it. He groans against me when I tug gently on the silky strands.
“Yes, Tal, right there,” I moan as he suctions his lips around my clit and sucks gently as his fingers tease me. He breaches my entrance, shallowly thrusting his fingers. God, I want him to take his time, but I don’t want anyone to come looking for us.
I pull him off, and he looks up at me, groaning in protest. “I wasn’t done,” he whines.
“We need to be fast, Bear. Give me your cock now, and you can take your time later.”
Talmage sighs but rises from his knees and undoes the buckle on his belt, hastily shoving his pants and underwear down just enough to free his cock. Tal looks around, motioning towards the sink. “Bend over, Firefly, and hold on because this is going to be fast.”
I move to the sink and bend over. In my heels, I’m the perfect height. Tal runs the head of his cock through my wetness before thrusting into me in one go, jolting my body forward as we both moan.
Tal sets a steady, rough pace that has the head of him stroking my G-spot with every forceful thrust, quickly ramping up my orgasm. I shove one hand underneath my stomach to rub circles on my clit so I can get there faster, and the first pass of my fingers has my pussy clenching around him.
“ Shit, Mack, if you don’t come, I’ll make it up to you later, I swear. I’m so fucking close,” Tal grinds out.
“I’m close. Don’t stop.” I pick up my pace, matching the speed of Tal’s thrusts.
When he groans my name quietly, I feel the first pulse of his cock as he comes, my orgasm crashes through me.
Tal stays seated inside me while we catch our breath, and when he pulls out a rush of his cum trickles down my thigh. I glance back to see Tal’s gaze fixed on the pearly liquid.
“Am I supposed to like seeing myself drip out of you so much?” he whispers in awe. “Because I really like it.”
I can’t help but giggle. “I don’t know, but I like feeling it. I don’t want to be dripping while we talk to your family, though, so…”
“Right.” He grabs some paper towels and gingerly wipes the mess from between my thighs, then wipes his cock before tucking himself back into his pants. He helps me slip my panties back on with a pout on his face, like it kills him to cover me back up.
I place a gentle kiss on his lips before we peek out the bathroom door. There’s no one out there, so we walk down the hall. When we pass by what looks to be a storage closet, we hear whispered voices and what sounds like… kissing?
Looks like we weren’t the only ones who couldn’t keep their hands off each other.
Emma gives me a knowing smirk when I stand next to her. “You need to send me the lipstick you’re wearing. ”
Heat flushes my cheeks, but Tal rattles off the name of the brand and the shade. “It’s smudge-proof.” He grins proudly.
“I can tell,” Emma deadpans. The tips of Tal’s ears turn pink, but the small smile doesn’t move from his face.
“How do you know what brand and shade it is?” I whisper when the conversation moves on from my lipstick.
“I pay attention to all the products you use in case I need to pick something up. I have a running list in my notes app.”
My heart is going to burst right out of my chest. Marrying Talmage may have been out of desperation and buried feelings, but I lucked out with the best, kindest, most genuine man a girl could ask for.
And he chose me.
“You’re the best husband ever,” I whisper.
Tal smiles at me. “And you’re the best wife. I love you, Firefly.”
“I love you, too.”
Tal and I linger a little while longer, talking to Elli and Wes about our upcoming trip to San Antonio.
The twins are going to freak out over Wes Jones hanging out with us while we’re there.
We talk with Emma and Ben about a trip to San Diego.
Emma chatters on about all the things we need to do while we’re there and offers to hang out with the twins so Tal and I can have a romantic night out.
Hannah and Morgan give us an open invitation for dinner, saying they want to get to know me better, and my heart is full of gratitude and love for these near-strangers who have shown me such compassion and kindness after only knowing me a few hours.
After mending things with Talmage’s parents, knowing the twins have formed a connection with his siblings, and now meeting his cousins, my life is full of so many good connections. Connections I didn’t realize I was missing until now.
Life doesn’t seem so bleak anymore. Marrying Talmage was the best thing I’ve ever done, and I’ll never regret it.