Chapter 47
DELANEY
I’m a firm believer in only using sick days when you’re really ill, but for the last two days, I’ve used mine without being curled in front of a toilet bowl. I’ve called in to work because I’ve needed to think, and I can’t do that clearly with Abbie sitting in front of me.
My grandma’s letter is on my lap. I’ve read it twenty times, and each time makes me cry harder, her words stabbing deeper into my chest as they sink in.
It’s like I can hear her voice as I read the words, and I could really, really use her right now.
She’d know exactly what to say after what happened.
If her letter is anything to go off, she’d throw me in my car and drag me to Darren’s house herself.
The old woman always was a romantic. Her romance books remain untouched in the spare room, beckoning me to sort through them nearly every day.
I’ve been dusting them for her, as if she’ll come back and haunt me for letting them get dirty.
I glance across the living room at the armchair and the letterman jacket thrown over the back of it. Groaning, I reach for where I chucked my phone when Poppy called. Her voicemail joined the other unanswered ones that I haven’t had it in me to listen to yet .
I’m hiding, and everyone can see it. My only saving grace is that unless Darren shared it with the town, nobody knows but us and Sasha. I’m just hoping that he at least warned her off from doing that.
That woman . . . she drives me crazy. First, it was her trying to make herself Darren’s partner in every high school class we all shared, then her obnoxious cheering on the sidelines at his games, and for the big hitter, getting pregnant with his baby and getting to call herself his wife.
Sasha’s always wanted Darren, but I never considered her a threat. No woman was. Not really. My unwavering belief in a future with him kept me na?ve to the people who were judging from the outside. One minute, I was in love, and the next, I was having that love thrown back in my face.
It would be easier to just let this go and call it quits now.
Abbie wouldn’t be affected in the ways Sasha was right to question, and I can finally use this as motivation to finish with Grandma’s house and move on.
I could start over somewhere nobody knows me.
Maybe in Vancouver or out East. My parents would travel to visit me anywhere just as frequently as they do Cherry Peak, and my friends . . . they’d understand.
I push my hair back behind my shoulders, frustrated when I give myself a mental shove. I’m not leaving. If I was going to, I would have after Grandma’s funeral. Maybe I’d managed to convince myself that this house was the only reason I hadn’t run off, but that was a lie.
The real reason I came home and why I stayed through every pitiful stare on the street and nervous trip to the grocery store was because I was waiting for this. For him to find his way back to me.
Maybe a part of me always recognized that he wasn’t ever hers. One mistake kept us apart, but one decision is all it would take to bring us back together, and this time, the decision hasn’t been taken from me.
I get to make it .
I’ve just got to decide now if I’m prepared for what a life with Darren would look like now.
It will never be the life we would have had before.
Abbie’s involved now, and so is Sasha. Running won’t be an option if we go ahead with this, and there isn’t another do-over waiting. This is our one and only second chance.
Without thinking twice, I play the first of the voicemails that have collected.
“Elle, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I’m going to keep calling until you do. Not chasing after you has been one of the biggest regrets in my life, so just keep that in mind. We aren’t done yet.”
I swallow and play the next.
“I drove by your house and saw your car, so I know you got back okay. There’s a locksmith on their way over right now, and he’s replacing all of my locks.
This won’t happen again. Have you eaten yet?
I know you don’t like to eat when you’re upset, but you need to. Don’t make me send my sister over.”
Scrolling through more, I choose one from yesterday.
“Good morning, beautiful. I’m not sure if you’ve listened to a single one of these, but just in case you’re listening to them as they come in just to delete them, I’m calling to remind you that I’m still here, and I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to give me two minutes to talk through this. Have a good day. I miss you.”
My heart pinches. I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling before playing the most recent voicemail.
“Hey, Elle. It’s me again. Are you sick of hearing my phone voice?
If you are, I’ll be at home all day, and I’ve put in an order from the diner just in case you show up.
It’ll be here at six, and I’ve made sure to order all of your favourites.
No pressure, though. I’ll bring it by and drop it on your porch tonight if you choose not to come.
Also, your back gate wasn’t closing properly, so I fixed it last night.
The last thing you need is a coyote disturbing your morning coffee.
Okay, well, I hope you’re okay . . . I miss you. Bye, baby.”
With a glance at the time, I curse. It’s quarter after six, and I’m in the same sweatpants I’ve worn for the last two days, and my hair is a total disaster.
Surely, I can’t show up like this? Or maybe I can.
This is Darren. And if I go to him right now, I may as well be signing off on a companion burial plot.
Fuck it. I’m so done with sitting at home alone, wishing that things could have been different. There’s no changing what happened. It’s time to create a future out of all the broken pieces of our past.
I stare down at the time on my dash before getting out of the car and gawking at the unfamiliar van parked in front of me. The voices escaping through Darren’s screen door are deep and masculine, ramping up my curiosity.
“Thank you for coming, Jer. If you just send the photos through to my email, I’ll take a look at them tonight,” Darren says, his voice growing in volume.
“You’ve got it. We’ll touch base tomorrow before the listing goes up.”
The door opens, and a guy steps outside, his black suit pressed and shoes so shiny the sun reflects off them.
He gives a thumbs-up to the van, and then another man is stepping onto the sidewalk.
The bulkier of the two gives me a curious up-and-down look before smiling and pulling a big white sign out of the back seat.
I rest a hand against the side of my car and watch him carry the For Sale sign over to Darren’s front yard. The mallet in his other hand is huge as he swings it onto the sign, sending the post deep into the ground.
“Delaney? ”
Blinking slowly, I move from my spot and onto the grass. “What’s going on?”
“I’m selling the house,” Darren announces, as calm as if he’d just said the sky is blue or the sun is hot.
I stare at him as he hops off the porch and starts toward me. He slaps the bigger guy on the shoulder as he passes him, and then the men are getting back into the van.
“Why? This is your house. Where are you going? Are you moving? Is this because I wasn’t here at six?” I’m going to be sick. Heat rises to my cheeks. “If I’d known you were going to leave, I’d have decided quicker. I would have been here yesterday.”
He ignores my rambling. His eyes are latched onto my upper body, a soul-deep bewilderment glimmering inside of them. “What are you wearing, Elle?”
“Answer me first.”
“I can’t even think right now with you wearing that.”
“Well, try! I’m freaking out right now,” I snap.
The sound of his laugh isn’t what I was expecting. “You’re incredible.”
“You won’t think that when I kick you in the crotch, Darren. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I thought that jacket was gone. Assumed you used it for a fire starter or just ran your car over it and left it on some back road,” he says, reaching forward to take both sides of it into his hands.
“You can thank my grandmother. She refused to listen to me when I told her to do all of those things. I’m considering trying again right now, though.”
His grin is bright, making him appear younger. “How many times did I beg you to wear this jacket at my games?”
“Every time, Darren. You tried every time.”
“And you rarely gave in. You chose a jersey instead.”
“This jacket is heavy. And it smells like BO. ”
He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, letting his touch linger. “I never even wore it.”
“Then whoever made it did before they gave it to you, because even now, it still stinks,” I grumble.
“Yet, here you are. It looks good on you. Like it was made for you to wear.”
My chest pangs as I say, “Tell me why you’re selling your house, Darren.”
“It’s not the right one anymore. I’m not sure it ever was.”
“What do you mean? You designed this place.”
He nods, eyes holding mine. “Can I take you somewhere? I’ll answer all of your questions when we get there.”
“All of them, Darren. I mean it.”
“Anything you want, Elle.”
I let him lead us to his car and keep all of my questions to myself on the drive. He doesn’t push, and I don’t mind the silence because I’m not alone. We’re together.
The drive is longer than I was expecting, though. Once we pass the Cherry Peak sign, I have to bite down on my lip to keep from asking him where we’re going. The drive-in grounds come and go before he turns down a dirt road. A moment later, he pulls over beside the ditch.
We’re in front of an open field with nothing to see beyond besides the sharp tips of the mountains and a few glowing lights from the town of Oak Point.
If I were to turn around, I’d see the drive-in and the wooden structure that’s starting to be built to replace the original and, just to the left, the football field would be hovering far into the distance, the goalpost creating a shadow over the freshly worked land.
It’s the plot of land. Ours from all those years ago.
Stepping outside, I take in a deep breath. “Why are we here?”
“Follow me.”
He rounds the hood and takes my hand. We head into the field, and I eye the No Trespassing sign hung on the wire fence. The opening in the fence kind of ruins the whole privacy thing, but I keep my mouth shut about that.
“I’m afraid to tell you that if you bought me a horse, I’m going to ask you to return it.”
Chuckling, he moves around the field as if he’s been here a few times and knows where all of the wrong places to step are. I follow him carefully until he stops, turning to face me.
“Why are we here, Darren? Why are you selling your house? Your home ?” I ask.
“That house has never been a home to me. I tried to make it one, especially for Abbie, but something was always missing.”
“Stop being cryptic,” I demand, my breath turning shallow.
Taking my other hand into his, he holds them both firmly.
“I tried to fit you into that house, Elle. I bought your tiles, and I designed my entire bathroom around them because I thought that if I’d just nail those tiles, there would be that piece of you in the foundation of my house that couldn’t be scrubbed away.
The built-ins in the living room and the panelling in the master bedroom were more failed attempts to build you into my life when you were no longer there.
It didn’t matter how many things I did to that place because it was never right.
It never was going to be right because you weren’t actually there.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long that everything I did had a little piece of you in it.
A memory or a drifting thought. And now .
. . Now, I’m done with trying to make a piece of you work.
I want all of you, Delaney. I want your laugh and your touch because it’s the only one that can make me feel every emotion under the fucking sun.
I want to see you in our room every morning and watch as you unpack your things beside mine.
And I want to see you with my daughter. I want you to spend hours making bracelets together and giggling about the things I’ve done that day that the two of you can’t believe.
I’m not okay with anything less than that anymore.
So, I bought this land, and I’ve spent the last two days doing this. ”
He lets go of my hand and reaches into the back pocket of his jeans. A thick piece of folded parchment settles between us, and then he starts to peel it open. God, he’s even left the bracelet I made him on his wrist.
“It’s not finished yet. I just wanted something to show you that this land is going to be something. A place for us and our future. It’s time, Delaney. We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
I bite down on my lip and focus on the charcoal sketches on the paper. The two-storey house with the wraparound porch and garden. Four bedrooms, a large dining room, and fireplace in the living room. He’s even drawn a pool in the yard beneath a rough sketch of a sun wearing a pair of sunglasses.
“You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of you saying that to me,” I whisper.
He moves in close, the strong wall of his body shielding me from the wind as it rips by, the air turning crisp. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“We needed to wait. It wasn’t the right time.”
“I love you,” he declares, the certainty in his voice echoing what I feel.
“Give me my ring back, Darren.”
Without a second of hesitation, he reaches up beneath his hoodie and rips the chain clean off. I extend my hand and wait for him to drop the ring into his and then glide it back into place onto my finger.
“Should I take that as an I love you too?” he teases softly, twisting the ring.
I roll my eyes and yank him into me by the pocket of his hoodie. “Take that as an obviously. I’m choosing you, Darren. I’m choosing forever with you because of how much I love you.”
The first snowflake of the year hits my nose, and then he’s kissing me, cementing my belief that this is where we’ve always supposed to have wound up. Together, right now, right here.