11. Knox
KNOX
I’m falling for you.
No other words have ever managed to stir as much conflict inside me as those four. Scarlet is fast asleep now, her head resting on my chest, while I stare up at the ceiling, still trying to process what she said exactly three hours ago.
I’m falling for you.
The words echo in my head, circling like they’re looking for a place to settle.
Feelings have never been something I welcomed into my life.
They were messy, unpredictable, and often led to nothing but distraction.
I’ve always believed that emotions, especially the romantic kind, only slowed me down and pulled me away from the things I could control.
It’s been that way since college.
Her face flashes across my mind before I can stop it.
The one woman I promised myself I’d never think about again—long red hair, green, sharp eyes, and lips that told nothing but lies.
We had been together for three years, and I thought she was my future.
I even had the ring in my pocket the night it all fell apart.
The pain that followed was unbearable at first, but over time, it became something useful. Pain hardened me and shaped me into the person I am today. It became the foundation of everything I’ve built since then.
My eyes drift to Scarlet, sleeping soundly.
Her vintage glasses rest on the nightstand, and without them, her face looks softer and younger somehow.
Freckles scatter across her nose and cheeks, and her lashes brush lightly against her skin with every breath she takes.
Her hair is spread around her face, wild and beautiful, and her body is tucked close against mine, fitting there like she was always meant to.
If things had been different, and if I hadn’t been through so much pain, she’s the kind of woman I could have imagined myself falling for.
Funny and quick-witted. A ray of sunshine in the cloudy sky I’ve been living under for far too long.
The very thing I had been trying so hard to avoid has happened. I see it clearly now, even if I wanted to deny it for as long as I could. This has gone far beyond any arrangement. I’m falling for her, too.
I told myself it would never happen again. I promised I would never make that mistake. I thought I could keep control of everything and have what I wanted without giving too much of myself, but life doesn’t work like that. I’ve been foolish to think I could be the exception.
The moment I accept what’s happening, panic starts to rise inside me. It comes fast and sharp, spreading through me until it’s all I can feel. For once, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Every option feels wrong. Every thought pulls me in two directions at once.
So I do the only thing I know how to do.
I pull away.
And I retreat to protect myself.
The rest of the weekend passes in a kind of blur. I make sure we are rarely alone, trying to keep a safe distance from what I’m starting to feel. I book her a few hours at the thermal spa near the hotel, and later I take her out to dinner.
That night, when we return to the room, I tell her that I’m not feeling well.
It’s not entirely untrue. There’s a tightness in my chest that won’t go away.
We lie in bed with only a few inches between us, but those inches might as well be miles.
Still, I tell myself this distance is for the best for both of us.
On Sunday, I repeat the motion, keeping that wall between us that keeps us from falling harder.
In the evening, when she finally leaves, I see the disappointment written on her face.
I watch her walk away, knowing I caused it, yet unable to stop myself.
The moment the door closes behind her, I do what I’ve always done when things start to feel too heavy. I bury myself in work.
Adeline has left me a list of tasks to handle before Monday morning, so I decide to get started right away. Tim and Boa settle at my feet, loyal and calm as always. In the far corner, Milly is curled into a tight little ball.
She’s asleep. That’s a good sign, even if she still refuses to come any closer. It means she feels safe enough to rest. I want to take a picture of her and send it to Scarlet, to show her that Milly is starting to settle in, but I stop myself before I reach for my phone.
Instead, I turn back to the laptop in front of me.
My inbox is filled with unread messages, and near the top sits a new email from Mr. Clarkson.
He claims to have found another property that he’s certain I’ll be interested in.
I almost laugh at the thought. Working with him once was already more than enough.
The last thing I need is another drawn-out project that tests my patience.
I take a slow breath, rubbing my temple. That’s when my phone vibrates on the desk. The name that flashes on the screen makes my stomach twist.
My father.
It takes me a moment to react. When was the last time we spoke? A few months ago, maybe longer. I’ve done my best to avoid him, and he’s never been one to reach out unless he has a reason. If he’s calling now, it’s because he wants something.
I might as well get it over with. I’m already in a foul mood.
“Hello,” I say as I pick the damn phone up.
“Knox, son, it’s good to hear your voice again,” comes his reply.
I’m not sure I’d call it good. Our relationship has been strained for years, ever since my mother died.
Or more accurately, since the day I saw him in public with another woman just six weeks after her funeral. That woman is now his fiancée.
“Right. What do you need?”
He laughs softly on the other end. “Straight to the point, as always. I just wanted to check in and see how you’ve been.”
“Well enough,” I say. I don’t bother asking how he’s doing. I already know it would lead to another long speech about his life that I don’t want to hear. “Why are you calling?”
“I have good news for you. I’ve spoken to Senator Gale …
you remember him, right? I’ve mentioned him before.
We golf together.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from sighing.
I don’t care. “Anyway,” he continues, “we had dinner yesterday, and he told me his daughter is coming to town. She’s a bright young woman studying law at Harvard. Lovely, too. I’m sure you’d like her.”
Every muscle in my body tightens. I can already see where this is going, and my irritation grows heavier with every word that leaves his mouth.
“So,” he says, sounding far too pleased with himself, “I’ve gone ahead and arranged a lunch for you two next Sunday. Two p.m. I’ll handle the reservation; you just need to show up. With connections like this, Knox, you could have a who—”
“Stop,” I cut in sharply.
“Knox, don’t be childish. Yes, the hotels are doing well, but—”
“Stop!” I snap, my voice rising before I can control it. My fist hits the desk, hard enough to make everything on it rattle.
The sound wakes Milly. She lifts her head and looks at me with wide, uncertain eyes, still pressed against the corner of the room. The guilt hits immediately—first for scaring her, then for letting my father get under my skin at all.
“You’ve been out of my life for years,” I say quietly.
“Don’t try to force your way back into it by setting me up with strangers.
I’m not interested in dating, and I’m definitely not interested in marrying anyone.
So do us both a favor and stop trying.” There’s silence on the other end of the line, but I don’t wait for him to answer.
“Frankly,” I add, my voice low, “you can go to hell.” I hang up before he can say anything else.
For a long moment, I sit there, my pulse still pounding in my ears. The anger doesn’t fade right away; it burns, sharp and bitter, until I finally understand what’s really behind it.
For the first time in a very long while, I’ve lied to him. It’s not that I don’t want to date. It’s that I don’t want anyone but Scarlet. I’m already in too deep, and I have no idea how to pull myself out.