8. Patience
Patience
“So what exactly am I supposed to tell them when they ask where I’ve been?”
I can’t even look at the demon in his face.
Between my pregnancy hormones, Autumn officially ignoring me, and seeing Cochise, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
I’m liable to burst into tears, dry hump Royce, or shit, maybe actually hump him.
Even in my dreams, I’m either being killed by my monster, or ravaged by my demon.
So I keep my eyes out the window. My fingers fisted, arms folded. My mind blank.
“Tell them the truth. You been going through it and I’m taking care of you.”
Royce always sounds so sure of himself. Everything is a statement, never a question.
It’s almost too easy to get sucked into the allure of him, that deep timbre of his voice, that always has a hint of playfulness.
That infuriating smirk I know is on his full lips right now.
When I dared to peek at him, he had his locs pulled on top of his head into a bun.
He needs a retwist, but for some reason, his new growth doesn’t look bad on him. Maybe it’s the fresh taper.
Maybe I’m finally losing my fucking mind.
“Is that what you’re doing? Taking care of me?”
“I mean, you sleeping in my bed, wearing my tees, eating the food I cook. That’s a start, but not nearly everything I could be doing.”
He’s closer now. I feel the heat coming off his body on my back.
I feel his breath on the back of my neck.
There’s a pull now, that we have. Or maybe it was always there, and being around him every day makes me more aware of it.
Either way, I have to physically restrain myself from taking a half step back and melting into that hard chest of his.
Royce has a body on him. Smooth, milk chocolate skin, covering a body honed in the gym and from being outside.
A six pack I wouldn’t mind exploring with my tongue.
Don’t get me started on the intricate tattoos.
His entire left arm is blue roses. A birch tree covers his back, with W4RRIORS across his stomach.
His right arm has a portrait of Deuce when he was a baby.
A portrait of who I think is his mother graces his right pec.
Deuce on his pinky, that matches the Deuce on Autumn’s pinky.
Those are just my favorites.
Besides the fading Autumn in cursive over his eyebrow.
“Royce, please.”
I mean to have some admonishment in my tone, but I sound like a bitch in heat. I haven’t gone this long without sex since I got with Autumn. Royce walking around with no shirt on doesn't make it any better.
“Don’t beg yet, princess. I haven’t even started yet.”
I hear him shift to come closer but I turn out of his reach, just as Deuce bounds into the kitchen.
“Mama Pay!”
I bend down to catch my munchkin as he throws his arms around my neck. Watching Deucey grow up has been one of the highlights of my life. I kiss him all over his cheeks, making him giggle.
“You be good for your daddy at the museum okay?”
“I will.”
He gives me my kiss on the cheek before I stand up. There Royce is again, except now there’s a black tee stretching over his torso, covering some of his tattoos. He smirks at me, openly checking me out.
I could melt right here.
“Take the Bentley.”
I nod once, and the look he gives me has me wanting to purr and keen. They aren’t even out the door before I’m rushing upstairs to wear my vibrator out. Again.
Flicking my bean fifty-eleven times knocks me out, and by the time I get myself together, I know Dal and Brina are at the restaurant.
But I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to put on real clothes, so I did.
Royce’s white button down goes to my mid thigh, so I put that on, with my cropped black argyle sweater vest, some black tights, and my Louis Vuitton black desert boots.
I washed and straightened and trimmed my hair back into the shoulder-length bob it usually stays in.
With a natural beat and nude lip, I actually look like something again.
I know I made the right decision when I get to the brunch spot and see my girls.
Brina’s in a black polo dress with mary janes.
She cut off her blonde hair, and now cute black curls bring out her bone structure.
Dal is wearing a lilac halter top short set that I know Nutty didn’t see her in.
Her knotless braids are piled high on her head.
Brina sees me first since she’s facing me, and slides out her seat to meet me before I get to their table.
I hug her tight despite our bellies. “I missed you, girlie.”
“Ugh, same!”
“Okay, okay! I need some love, too!”
I giggle and let go of Brina before being swept up in Dallas. My heart is full instantly; I needed this.
We settle back into our seats and I notice the fourth seat is taken, too.
“Hey, zorrita.” Rico smiles at me, dimples on display. He’s called me little fox since he met me.
“Hey, Rico.” I want to ask him about Autumn, but I bite my tongue instead. Not in front of everyone else.
“Rico’s babysitting us, and you two whores wanna be pregnant at the same time, so I’m drinking for four.” Dal grins as she flags down the waiter.
“You can always just get pregnant right now,” Brina cheeses. She rubs her belly to make the offer more enticing, making me giggle and Rico smirk.
“Yeah, I’ll have a cadillac marg. Make it a double. They’ll have orange juice. And we’ll take two chicken and waffles, a French toast platter, and–”
“An acai bowl,” Rico interrupts, rubbing his tongue ring across his top lip. The waiter nods and scurries off, leaving Dal to scowl at Brina.
“Every day I have to deal with Denver, who has somehow found parkour videos and wants to try that at home; Anais, who is a stage three clinger, and her father, who is stage five. The last thing I need is another baby, when I got three. Besides, you getting a two-for-one.”
“She’s right–”
“Unt, unt, slow ya roll, sexy mama.” Dal dramatically turns toward me, pointing a stiletto nail, her already squeaky voice getting squeakier. “Where have yo antennas been?! Patrick said Turk kidnapped you.”
“Mhmm. Gone tell me your location is classified. Spill, bitch.”
Brina and Dal fold their arms in sync like this was a planned interrogation instead of our bimonthly girls’ brunch.
I run my fingers through my hair before glancing at Rico, but he just shrugs. “Inquiring minds want to know.”
“And how do I know everything I say here won’t make it into that group chat I know you all have? Or worse, to your precious Haze?”
Of all the guys of Foe Dub, Autumn and Rico are the closest. When he was still in the Marines, he’d stay with her whenever he was home, and when he got out, he lived with us for a month before he got his own place.
There’s a picture of her with him and his deceased twin Fredo in our family room.
He’s always around, when he’s not doing whatever he does, and so we’ve grown a friendship of our own, but I know his loyalty is to her.
“I’ve only gotten in Haze and Turk’s business one time, and I learned then that’s nowhere you wanna be. Trust me, whatever you say will stay at this table, unless my lil homie Deucey is involved.” Rico winks at me and takes a sip of his water, keeping his eyes on me.
“Rico! I told you about unleashing that sex appeal on everyone,” Brina hisses. When I feel her fingers on my chin, lifting it, I realize my jaw dropped.
I shake my head. “Sorry. No one tells you you become feral during your second trimester.”
“So you haven’t been fucked? Interesting.” Rico pulls at a brown curl on his head. “You got the floor, zorrita.”
Our food and drinks come and we dig in, but I know I’m not off the hook, especially when I look up after devouring a chicken leg and see three sets of eyes on me.
My old life is just that; my old life. If you’re not from East Kenton, you only hear about the First Nations.
Across the fifteen freeway after the Regent Avenue exit is a whole different story.
Set and everyone else have built Foe Dub from the ground up in such a short time, and I applaud them, truly.
But the First Nations is a hundred years of alliances, systems, and loyalty.
A whole army ready and willing, that I know is coming for me.
I shouldn’t even be out here with them.
“I, uh, haven’t been feeling well. I had to take a leave of absence since blood started making me vomit. So when Royce offered to let me stay with him while Autumn’s in Geyser City, I accepted.”
“Stay? As in at Turk’s house?” Brina drops her waffle-filled fork.
“He has a house?” Dal chimes in.
“Yeah, it’s nice, too.”
“Okay, but why not just move in with you? Why all the secretiveness? And why we ain’t know this nigga gotta actual crib?”
“I know everyone has their own shit going on, and me and Autumn aren’t really together right now–”
“Let me stop you right there.” Brina polishes off the chicken thigh on her plate and wipes her fingers.
“I know I met you through Autumn, but you and I are girls, Pay. That shit isn’t contingent on whether or not you and Autumn are together.
Autumn would never ask us to choose, and even if she did, that’s not how I rock.
If you and Autumn don’t figure it out, don’t think that means you gotta stop fucking with me. We locked in for life, baby mama.”
“Yeah, Pay. If we gotta make a separate group chat, then we will. Don’t piss us off disappearing on us. And that includes Patrick, too. You’ll get an earful at Set’s birthday dinner, I’m sure.” Dal rolls her eyes but she beams at me, making my eyes burn.
I look across from me to Rico, who shrugs. “Haze be tripping. I’m not abandoning my zorrita because she’s being bullheaded. You could have always stayed with me.”
“No one knows where you live either,” Brina grumbles, making us girls laugh.
Rico just winks at her and plays with his tongue ring. “I live in your heart, mamita.”
“Ugh, one day Set is gonna blow your brains out.”
Rico swings his head to Dal and bites his lip. “Don’t be jealous, it’s enough Rico to go around.”