14. Patience
Patience
I’m surrounded by gang members and hoodlums.
If I wasn’t pregnant I would be smoking cigarettes.
A little over four years ago my car wouldn’t start in the employee parking lot of West Kenton Memorial Hospital. I’d just worked an eighteen hour-shift, after working for an entire week straight.
Luckily, the pretty EMT I always stare at was leaving, too, and offered to jump my car. She surprised me then, having jumper cables and knowing what to do. I offered to take her to lunch on our next off day as a thank you. The rest is history.
Autumn comes off like a typical west coast girl. Understated designer clothes. Hair and nails are always done. She loves a good brunch, a fun night out. Wears biker shorts and UGGs so you don’t know if it’s hot or cold outside.
The Autumn that was on Wynter’s Live last night was someone I’d never met before.
Yeah, she’s close with the guys. But I always assumed it was because of her proximity to Royce. Like a Lady Turk-type thing. Far removed.
Like how I was.
But that fucking Live last night? Autumn had on her green. Her 4 nose ring. Throwing up the birch sign all on her story in a damn sheisty mask like she had a body count. And not the kind girls usually have!
She was in her element. I’d never seen her more comfortable than when she was sitting on Royce’s lap while he bopped his head to Wyn’s song and smoked.
For the first time, I saw it. I understood how perfect they fit together. How comfortable they are together.
And then I screamed into my fucking pillow.
I spent fifteen years running from gang members to fall in love with a damn YN couple.
I shake my head like that will get rid of that last thought and hug myself on the park bench. It’s early enough that only the older ladies are walking around the perimeter in the West Kenton park across the street from my job that I miss.
I knew after watching the Live I had to reach out to Cochise sooner than later. I didn’t expect him to demand to see me the morning after, though.
He has to be spending a fortune on gas.
Speaking of my baby brother, here he is strolling up to me with a hardened scowl on his face.
“I’m finna smoke your girlfriend and your baby daddy.” He towers over me at six-five, and with his hands in the pockets of his Nike tech, shoulders hunched, staring down at me, he looks even taller.
I wave him off and his scowl deepens.
“They pulled a gun on me, Fox. In front of everyone but Tripp. I gotta smoke him or Sheisty’s never gonna let me live it down.”
He almost sounds like he’s whining, like he’s back thirteen and asking me to tell them to stop picking on him, and it makes me smile.
I pull his hands out his pockets and swing his arms. “Oh no, widdo Cheese is worried about what the other boys will think,” I say in my baby voice.
He can’t get rid of his smirk but he does snatch his hands away from me. “You’re still an asshole.” He pulls me in for a hug, and I bask in it.
“I missed you so much, Cheese.” And of course, like the bloated incubator I am, I burst into tears.
Cochise takes it in stride, holding me tight before I let go.
“You gone be crying like this when you going to a double funeral.”
I let him go and sock his arm. “Stop. I’m sure you antagonized them first. And fuck ‘Sheisty.’ That fool’s name is Shakari, and the only thing sheisty about him is that he didn’t brush his teeth for a year straight when we were twelve.”
Cochise just stares at me. “I’ve never got why you’ve never been scared of them. I mean, Tripp I get, but Sheisty’s elevator don’t go up to the penthouse. And don’t get me started on PC’s silent assassin ass.”
I just shrug.
East Kenton saw them as the enforcers of the First Nations.
Leaders of the G$ Gangsta Crips, now famous on the internet as the Get Money Crew.
But they’ll always be Tripp, Shakari, and Piccolo to me.
We all would sit in the back of Sunday School together.
I tutored Tripp in algebra. Shakari, a grade ahead of us, was the typical nasty boy who hated water, loved dirt, and ate paste for fun.
And Piccolo was my godbrother. His birth was why my mother first came to East Kenton.
It’s not them I fear.
It’s who Cochise hasn’t mentioned.
“I guess it’s different because we’re all the same age. And I’m a girl, the princess. The sides I see of them are completely different.”
“Yeah, well, you finna see the side I see. Yo nigga Turk put everyone on notice about you… and I do mean everyone.”
I stagger back as my hands automatically go to my daughter. Even Cochise has the sense to have an inkling of fear.
“You couldn’t have told that nigga who Grimey is to you. I refuse to think he’s that bold.”
I plop down on the bench and put my head between my legs. Cochise sits next to me and starts rubbing my back awkwardly.
I try to chuckle, thinking about Royce, but it comes out choppy. “No. I haven’t told either of them about who I am, but trust me. Royce is that bold.”
“Well, the muthafucka called out your full government, and you know Grimey gets like a dog with a bone. First thing he asked was who the fuck Patience Fox is…”
Oh, Spirit. Who’s the bigger idiot, him or me?
“...and not to mention he was acting like he knew the nigga. I mean, I know he knows Nutty from juvie, but I never seen Turk before we pulled up at Autumn’s crib, and I know the others don’t know him either.”
I lift my head and smooth out my hair, remembering something I filed away before.
“He owns Paradise. Someone told me he went to Dad himself to buy it off him like a decade ago. Dad never mentioned anything like that to you? You would have been shadowing him by then.”
Cochise scratches his cheek before shaking his head. “Nah. I promise I never seen that nigga before, so if he did meet with Dad they met alone. But that still doesn’t explain why and how Grimey knows him. Grimey’s domain is enforcing only. He wouldn’t know shit about that.”
“Ugh this is so fucked up,” I groan. “I don’t even think Dad can help at this point.”
“How are you more afraid of Grimey, than Sheisty, who we have seen kill someone with his bare hands?”
I chuckle even though ain’t shit funny. “Trust me, Montavious Grimes is a fucking monster.”
“Well, Grimey is also smart as fuck, and got a hard on for ya mans. It’s only a matter of time before he figure out you’re alive, well, and pregnant in the city. And you’re right, I don’t think Dad can or will keep that nigga or the gang on a leash if it means you coming back home.”
I reach into my pocket and show Cochise the sonogram I’m giving him. “I think it’s a little too late for me to come home and honor our covenant, Cheese.”
My brother lights up, taking the sonogram from me. “It’s a Girl!” is printed on it, and just like that he’s my baby brother again. Too soft, too pure for the life he was born into.
“I’m having a niece! Too bad she’s half dumbass.”
I shove him, cackling. “Royce isn’t dumb, fool. Besides, your niece has three parents–I think?”
Cochise pockets the sonogram before cutting his eyes to me. “So are you fucking both of them then? Y’all on some sister wives shit?”
“I’m on some ‘mind your own business’ shit. I haven’t once questioned you about Wynter.”
Cochise tenses and sighs. “Man, sis. That’s a whole other fuckin’ story. I’m meeting her ass at the office now before I get up with Dad… I take it you’re not gonna swing through?”
“I think… the first thing I need to do is be honest with Autumn and Royce. After that I’ll figure out my next steps.”
We both stand up and close our eyes, feeling the sun on our face. I hold in a laugh at how it feels like no time at all has passed.
Cochise opens his eyes and gets serious.
“You’re not alone in this, Fox. Don’t leave me out the loop.
I don’t give a fuck about the covenant and traditions, I care about you and my niece’s happiness only.
And if you wanna be a sister wife in South Kenton, then the Council should make an exception.
And if not, I’ll marry Wyn, take over for Dad, and grant it myself. ”
I cackle then, not believing Cochise wants to get married for a millisecond. But it still feels good to know I at least have one ally still.
“You have my number now. We can text and call, and I won’t be a stranger… to you at least.”
“And PC. That nigga misses you, Foxy.”
Okay, two allies.
Cochise gathers me in his arms and this time I only tear up in his embrace.
“I love you, Foxy. Or is it Patience now?”
I tickle his sides and push him. “Shut up, Cheesy.”
“Cochise?”
Oh, fuck.
“It is you! Can you call Grimey for me? He’s not answering my calls.”
I don’t know who this could be, but I’m definitely surprised to turn around and see one of Royce’s sisters speed walking toward us.
Not one of the twins, either.
She looks a little haggard, in a worn dad hat, a trench coat and jeans. This isn’t the same Renelle I saw briefly at Dallas’s birthday party.
“If he not answering then you need to talk the hint, Nellie.”
Renelle and I both do a double take at how harsh Cochise sounds. Renelle flashes with embarrassment before recognition takes over as she looks me up and down. “Patience? What are you doing here?”
“You know her?”
“Yeah–”
“Yes. That’s Royce’s sister.” We both say at the same time. Renelle narrows her eyes as she looks between us.
“How do you know Cochise?”
“Don’t question her, the fuck? And since when do you have a brother?”
I turn to Cochise. “How long have you known her?”
“She’s been sucking Grimey’s dick behind her sisters since y’all were in high school.” He arches a brow, no doubt remembering when I fucked up her older sister behind Monty.
And now little sis is being fucked and ducked.
“Fuck you, Coach. Me and Grime have unfinished business. He doesn’t want to keep ignoring me.” Renelle rolls her neck before focusing on me. “And does Autumn know you’re out here hugged up on other men?”
I fold my arms and gather all the attitude I can muster but Cochise just moves in front of me.
“Ay, cuz. Don’t address her. Ever. Or Grimey ignoring yo ass will be the least of your worries.”
Renelle rolls her eyes but starts backing away toward the parking lot. “Yeah, just tell that nigga ignoring me isn’t in his best interest.”
When she’s gone, Cochise turns to me smirking. “I guess you’re gonna leave before I call him huh?”
I scrunch up my face and zip up my jacket. “You’re actually gonna tell him you saw her?”
Cochise shrugs and pulls out his phone. “I was already finna see where his big head ass is at. Surprised he ain’t hit me yet.”
“Stay out of trouble, Cheese. And don’t–”
“Don’t tell Grimey I seen you, yeah, yeah. Trust me, I’m denying I know anything.”
I give my baby brother one more hug and leave the park before I’m tempted to reinstate myself at work. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without working, and if I didn’t practice yoga and binge watch all the shows on my list, I would have died of boredom. Hell, I still am.
My talk with Cochise went better than I expected, but I know that’s only because he was distracted by what happened last night.
One day, I’ll have to tell him why I upped and left, but I don’t know if I’ll ever tell him the whole truth.
That would open a can of worms that may end in patricide, and no matter how disillusioned I am of our people, I won’t turn Cochise.
It’s his birthright to become the next Chief, and if anyone can restore honor to the First Nations, it’s him.
And if I have to bear this cross on my own for him to do it, I will.
But there’s one person I can’t keep hiding from.
When I pull into Turk’s garage, I turn off the engine and call the first number in my favorites list.
It rings twice before the line clicks over, and my heart skips two beats.
“Good morning, my love.”
Her voice is music to my ears as always, and my stomach knots even more.
“I, uh, have something I want to say.”
There’s some ruffling in the background. “Okay, I’m alone now. What’s up?”
I take a deep breath and exhale. I can do this.
“I haven’t been fair to you. I said some things to you when I first found out I was pregnant that were out of line.
If you knew me, really knew me, you’d understand why I’ve been out of my element, but that’s my fault, not yours.
I know you’re in clinicals right now, but when you’re done, I want to have a serious talk and lay everything out on the table, if you’ll let me.
I don’t want to lose you, Auty. You’re the love of my life, and the mother of my baby. ”
“You’re not the only one that’s in the wrong, Pay. There’s… there’s a lot you don’t know about me either. I’m open to talking more about this once I’m done with school, because we do have a lot to talk about.”
“Okay… are we, uh, still broken up?”
Autumn’s quiet for a beat. “Is that what you want?”
“No! No… it’s just… ugh, okay. So I kind of… uh, slept with someone else.”
“While pregnant?” There’s something in her voice I can’t catch over my nerves.
“Yeah. I had to tell you.”
“Who did you sleep with?”
I roll my eyes and wipe my forehead before it clicks. Humor. That’s what I hear.
I hate that they’re so fucking close. Of course he told her.
“Are you really going to make me say when it’s obvious his big mouth ass told you?”
She cackles before getting control of herself. “Yes. I need you to admit it for the record ma’am. Who did you have sex with?”
I hate her.
“Royce,” I mumble.
“Huh?”
“Royce,” I say louder.
“And who is he to you?”
I sigh. She’s so fucking childish.
“The demon father of my half-demon spawn.”
“Pay–”
“Okay! The father of my child. Our second child! I fucked him! And it was good! Yes! There! Ya happy?!”
“Oh, I’m ecstatic, my love,” she giggles. “And for your information, I guessed it when he was all of a sudden defending your ole mean ass yesterday. Turk is really good at keeping your confidence, but he’s also really bad at lying to me.”
That does make me feel better. “You’re not mad?”
“No, baby. Like I said, we’re gonna have a lot to talk about when I’m done with school. And you not correcting me on calling him that shows that you like his ass, too.”
“No, no–wait… too? He said he likes me?”
“Oh God, you both are like middle schoolers. Anyway, I just wanna let you know that Turk bossed up on all the Get Money niggas and told them to leave you alone. He also said something about going to Apache Beverly–”
“I’ll talk to him.” I rub my forehead back and forth like that’ll magically stop the stress headache forming.
Autumn just laughs some more. “Oh, my darling Paypay. That’s not gonna do anything… you’ll learn. Once Turk has his mind set on something, he’s not gonna stop. Not even for you.”