21. Patience
Patience
I don’t even know how I made it to Monty’s house through my tears, running lights, and screaming at the top of my lungs.
But I did.
I barely remember to throw my car in park before hopping out and running up the stairs. I bypass his staff, avoiding the sitting room I know his grandmother is in, and go up the sweeping staircase. Down the hall. I hear distinct sounds that turn my heart to stone so fast it cracks.
Fuck. I didn’t want it to be real. Why me? Why did I love someone incapable of loving me back?
I push his room door back into the wall, making it shake.
There he is. Montavious Grimes. The love of my life.
Holding a crying baby.
His head snaps to me, and fear, guilt, and anguish color his handsome butterscotch face. His braids are fuzzy. He’s in sweats and holding and rocking the babe to no avail.
He’s broken my heart for the last time.
“It’s true then,” I breathe.
“Fox, I can–”
“You broke Covenant. You’ve broken me.” I sob as I slip his grandmother’s ring off my ringer and launch it at him, hitting the wall next to him.
“I HATE YOU!” I shriek like a banshee before turning on the balls of my feet and rushing toward the stairs.
I don’t make it five steps before a hand wraps around my arm and yanks me into a guest room. He slams the door shut and pushes me into it, caging me in his arms.
“Let me fucking explain, Fox! It’s not–”
“It’s exactly what it looks like! It’s bad enough you stick your dick in any woman who looks your way, but fucking raw, Monty?! Having a baby?! How-how–”
He crashes his lips to mine but I slap him away from me. “Don’t you fucking touch me! You’re disgusting.” I push him away and he lets me, giving me space.
“You’re pathetic, Monty. You will kill any man who looks my way but give yourself to any and every ho walking.
Giving away what’s supposed to be mine! Making my friends lie to me, act like you love me when you really only love yourself.
Making me question what I’m not doing right, why you refuse to be faithful to me.
“And still I stayed. Because I love you. Because I wanted to believe you’d grow out of this, and grow up, and we’d get our happily ever after. And then you give away another piece of yourself. Your firstborn. Your child. And once again I’m a fool. But no more.”
I turn around to open the door but he closes it and pins me with his body. “You can’t leave me, Fox. I can’t live without you; you can’t leave… I… I… I didn’t fuck no bitch raw, Fox. I wouldn’t do that to you. The condom broke, baby, I swear. She wouldn’t get an abortion–”
“That doesn’t make it right!” I cry out. “You shouldn’t have done it! You have a problem, Monty! It’s not like we don’t have sex! Any time you want it, I give it to you, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t do this–”
“Baby, you can’t go,” he sobs. Tears actually dampen my shoulder.
He’s never cried before. But then again, he knows the ramifications of this.
He broke Covenant. In the eyes of our Council, our engagement is void because he had a child outside of wedlock, outside of me.
The First Nations frown upon bastard children; it’s why my sisters have no station, and many elders don’t recognize Cochise as my father’s heir.
The only reason they uphold it is because they don’t want Grimey over both the Beverly and Geronimo seats.
“I refuse to hold an innocent baby accountable for how deeply you’ve hurt me, and that's all I would do, Monty. You did this to us. You’ve invited so many women into our bond, and now, one is here permanently. I won’t ask you to choose between me and the family you’ve made behind my back.”
He flips me so my back is on the door. “No bitch can hold a candle to you, Fox. I’d never put no bitch above you. You’re my chieftainess. That bitch is taken care of.”
The finality in his words makes me pause. Because what?
I stare into his dark brown eyes, pools of depth I used to get lost in, back when our love was innocent and untainted.
And I push him again. “What the fuck did you do, Monty?”
He wipes his face and shrugs. “I took care of the problem, Fox. A bitch can’t possibly believe she can trap me and still be in the land of the living.”
My eyes damn near pop out and roll to the floor.
The way he’s so casual about it… like we’re talking about the weather.
“Monty… that was a mother! The mother of your child!”
“No, beautiful. You’re the mother of my child. Your period’s a couple weeks late, too. We’ll just have two under two.” He has the nerve to smile like he’s imagining a perfect family.
I steel my spine. “My father–”
“Your father is the one who told me what to do, Fox. Wake up… why do you think Cochise’s mom isn’t around?”
I fall into the door. It’s one thing to speculate, but Monty admitting to it, admitting my father killed Cochise’s mother, and did the same with his own child’s mother…
I’d never been afraid of my friends. I know they’re heavy into the streets, but they've always been Piccolo, Shakari, Tripp, and Monty to me.
For the first time, I’m seeing Grimey. And for the first time, I’m terrified for my fate if I ever cross him.
I clear my throat and reach behind me to open the door. “I… I have to get home. I’ll call you tomorrow, Monty.”
His face falls, but he nods. “I know you need time Fox, but I swear I’m done with these bitches. I can’t keep hurting us like this, and my son… Montrell deserves the two-parent household we didn’t get.”
A son… I conceal the fresh pain that reverberates through my body, and just nod.
When I go back into the hallway, Montrell’s cries are louder. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other until I’m back in my car, and speed to my father’s office closer to downtown.
Thank the spirits and heavens he’s not in a meeting. I breeze by his receptionist and close and lock the door behind me.
“Foxtail, what–”
“I need to leave the city. Now.”
Present
It’s weird being back at home after so many years away. Daddy hasn’t upgraded anything, so it’s almost like I’m nineteen again, turning my nose up at the old money decor my grandparents picked out.
We’re Black and Native, not European.
This wallpaper is ugly.
“You have your prenatal appointment, right?” Daddy asks over breakfast.
I nod, stuffing toast in my mouth. “Yup. Tripp is taking me.” Only because Pic insists I make up with him.
I’d rather go alone.
“Do you know what you’re having?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to broadcast it; a little girl. One that’ll probably have my dimples, but Royce’s smile. A beautiful mahogany coloring for skin. And an air of mischief about her.
But I just shake my head. I want to keep something for myself, and these people are all about heirs and whether a muthafucka has the right tools to lead, literally.
“Shame. I want to know how to instruct the staff to decorate the nursery.”
“I’m not staying here, Daddy. I have a home, that has a nursery where my nugget will be with me and my–”
“Boyfriend? Or girlfriend?” Cochise snickers.
I roll my eyes and butter another piece of toast. “Speaking of girlfriend, where’s yours? Wyn hasn’t been to the estate once since you nearly croaked.”
Cochise deflates a little and damn, now I feel bad.
“Me and Wyn aren’t together anymore.”
“Her loss, son. Now we can start finding you a suitable wife. Print some sonograms for me, Fox.” Daddy gets up and walks out, leaving us.
“I’m sorry–”
“Don’t be. You didn't know. And it's not like I’m not used to the women in my life abandoning a nigga in his time of need.”
Okay. Now I really want to go jump off the building.
I get up and wrap my arms around my brother’s beck. “You’ve gotta know me leaving had nothing to do with you, Cheese. I wanted out of the Covenant, and I had to break ties with everyone.”
“Yeah, I know,” he says, but it doesn’t feel believable, especially when he gets out of his seat.
“Just know you were missed around here, and if you miraculously get to break Covenant, don’t forget about us again.
” He leans down to kiss the top of my head before ambling out the dining room, and boy, what a way to start an already shitty day.
The day keeps getting worse.
Because leaning next to a nice ass Durango is none other than Monty. Braids fresh. In a beige jacket and light washed jeans that would have had butterflies swarming my middle if I was still eighteen.
Now I’m sure it’s just gas.
When I get to the passenger seat, I let one out when he tries to hug me. I cackle when his face screws up, and open the door myself, which makes him scowl harder.
“Act like you a fucking chieftan–”
“Don’t fucking call me that.” He backs up in a mock surrender and I slam the door shut.
I wish I had my car.
Monty tries to make conversation with me, but I turn up his music to drown him out.
I should have seen this coming a mile away; Tripp can’t sit still enough to sit through a prenatal appointment, not alone anyway.
I curse him and Pic out so thoroughly in a text message I’m sure their future children will feel it.
Even with Monty speeding, I’m barely on time to my appointment. But when he takes his seatbelt off, too, I lose it.
“You are NOT coming in there with me like you’re my baby’s daddy!” I screech.
“Fox–”
I hold up my hand. “No. You have ruined me enough. You will not get to be a part of this for me. You will not taint this for me, Monty. You do not get to threaten to s-stomp out my baby and come see about them.”
We hold each other’s glare until he sees I’m not backing down, and then sits back.
“Aight man. I’ll wait in the lobby.”
“In the fucking car, Monty.”
“Aight, fuck,” he sighs. “Ay, I’m–”
I open the door to drown out whatever bullshit apology he was going to give me and slam his door. Nigga was damn near salivating at the thought of wiping the people I love off the map and think a little sorry is going to make us up?
Yeah, he’s sorry all right.
I physically shake my head to get all bad thoughts out and greet the receptionist with a smile. The lobby’s pretty full, so I’m surprised when a nurse comes to take my vitals immediately, but fuck it.