Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Davis arches his back and stretches in my arms, and I’m pretty sure my ovaries just jumped.
As a doctor, I know that’s not feasible, but as a woman, I feel like it’s entirely possible. Walker and Vivian’s twins, Henry and Davis, are five weeks old, and while I’ve been around babies, I’ve never been around babies of people I had personal relationships with.
I’ve never held a baby who is the nephew of the man I’m falling—have fallen—in love with.
All kinds of firsts this morning.
I would have loved to meet the twins earlier, but between the regular work demands and the additional work of stepping in as lead for our team, I have been spending an insane amount of hours at the office.
It doesn’t help that whenever I’m finally able to leave after a long day, I make the hour drive west to Forrest Falls, so when I pass out from exhaustion, I can do so in Ryan’s arms and in his bed.
He’s offered to drive to my condo more than once, but I like being with him in his home. There’s a serenity about turning off the main road and up the winding driveway with his farmhouse peeking through the trees like a beacon of … home.
And if I’m not completely exhausted, he does more than his fair share of contributing to ensure I get a good night’s sleep—and am completely satisfied when I do drift off to dream land.
But after I ran away from Ryan last week, only to have Walker watch me get into Ryan’s SUV when it was all said and done, there’s one last conversation I’ve been putting off.
So, sue me for using a baby as emotional support while I rip the Band-Aid off.
Savannah, her daughters, and I are all visiting Vivian, and it’s the first time I’ve been to Walker and Viv’s new home, too.
I’ve been so busy with work, I haven’t even found time to read … well, at least not very much. I still find some time but never enough, let alone time to see my friends in person.
My friendship with Aisha is different because we became close friends after we no longer lived in the same city, so I once again find myself feeling unfamiliar emotions as I miss friends that I’m used to seeing regularly.
If I believed in astrology, I might think it was some kind of year of the horse or whatever it is that represents transformation.
There is so much new, but also so much joy.
My life has completely transformed since that night in Savannah’s kitchen last fall, and I didn’t know I could be this happy, or enjoy someone else’s company this much either, both Ryan and his family.
“So, there’s something I wanted to talk to you two about,” I begin as Vivian and Savannah share a silent sister conversation, ending with both of them giggling. Their daughters are upstairs playing Barbies, so we can now have an adult conversation.
One that’s kicked off with giggles.
“Huh, I wonder whatever it is that our dear Harlow has to tell us, Sav.” Vivian taps her chin with a mock confused look as she over pronounces every word.
“I do not know, dear sister, but whatever it is, I am sure it will be brand-new information,” Savannah deadpans as we all start laughing.
“Oh, so you already know everything? Great, we can just skip this convo then.” I look down to Davis who’s snoozing in my arms as Savannah waves her free hand in the air, while not disturbing her sleeping nephew Henry snug in her arms.
“No, no, no, ma’am. You do not get off that easily. Please, enlighten us, Harlow.”
Vivian grins. “Yes, please, what is it you wanted to talk to us about? Just remember, we don’t want certain details if it has to do with anything beyond PG with our brother.”
Savannah nods in agreement.
I roll my eyes, giving up any sliver of hope of getting out of this conversation. “Okay, so, … as you are both aware, your brother and I have been spending time together, and it’s … evolved.”
“I do love evolution and personal growth,” Savannah says with a grin that looks oddly mischievous like her brother Finn’s.
“Same, for sure,” Vivian adds.
“And we are now a couple, so I hope that does not affect our personal relationships or my place in the book club,” I admit, but I’m not entirely joking either. I’ve never dated my friend’s brother—hell, I’ve never dated. Not really, anyway.
Vivian rears back. “What? Are you serious right now? This is not something that needs to change things, if anything, this is great news that will just mean we get to see even more of you.”
Savannah tilts her head and pauses, taking me in, seeing too much. “How did you think we would react to you officially telling us something we’ve known unofficially for months now, Harlow?”
“Maybe that you didn’t like the idea of me with your brother,” they both audibly gasp in unison, “or my job, or I don’t know. Just have reservations about us.” I shrug as I’m trying to downplay the fact that I just admitted something exceptionally vulnerable.
I don’t want to lose either of them. Their friendships in the last year have become incredibly special to me, and while my feelings for Ryan are deep and very real, there was still a significant potential risk in this conversation.
“Harlow, honey, no. Look at me.” Vivian sits on the coffee table in front of me so she can face me sitting on her couch.
“Your job is amazing, you are amazing—and not because of your job—those two things are just both true. You are our friend, and if our brother, Ryan, right? It is Ryan?” She grins.
I nod. “Yes, I’m talking about Ryan.”
“Just checking.” She winks. “If you and Ryan are in a relationship, then that’s great. Two people I love spending time together? Sounds like a win to me. What do you think, Sav?”
Savannah stands and reluctantly hands Henry to his mama as he starts to fuss to be fed. “I think knowing what we know about your history, it makes sense that you were worried about … rocking the apple cart, so to say.”
I nod at that accurate statement.
I have been worried about how my relationship with their brother would impact the friendships I’ve discovered with not only Vivian and Savannah, but also the rest of the book club.
Savannah’s next-door neighbor, Stacy, may be invasive and opinionated, but she’s the mother-figure I’ve never had and always wanted.
Vivian’s besties, Lauren and Willa, are queens of gifs, and they both keep me laughing throughout the week, even with non-book related conversations.
Getting to not only know but become friends with women like Pippa and Sophia has been incredible, to say the least.
I didn’t want to lose that.
I didn’t want to lose them.
“I wanted to still have my place in your lives as just Harlow, and not only because I was with Ryan, because if I’m only there as Ryan’s girlfriend, then…” I trail off and shake my head as understanding dawns between the sisters.
“Then if you two were to break up, you would lose your spot in not only that relationship but all of the other ones that crossover with Ryan’s life.” For some reason, Savannah’s wise assessment is bringing tears to my eyes, and I don’t trust my voice, so I just nod.
“Well, then you clearly didn’t hear one of the main rules of The Brigade,” Vivian adds.
The Callahan siblings are known as The Cavalry, and The Brigade is the expanded group of the siblings, plus significant others like their husbands, Walker and Theo, and Jack’s girlfriend, Tinsley Sinclair.
“We play for keeps. And if you’re a part of our lives, and we claim you, you’re ours.
” She shrugs like she didn’t just pour soothing balm on my deep relational insecurities.
“Sure, so long as I’m in a relationship with Ryan. But I’m also not part of The Brigade, at least not yet.”
Savannah and Vivian both shake their heads.
“Nope, if we say you’re one of ours, then that’s the end of the story.
Are you new here? I’m quite persistent and stubborn when I make my mind up.
” Savannah winks, and she’s only kidding so much—she actually means it.
“I know Jack thinks he is the one who runs our sibling group, but that’s just because we let him think that.
” Vivian nods in agreement as her sister continues, “I know your experience has included a lot of shitty people that let you down, but that’s not how we roll.
We don’t want you around because you’re super smart, or whatever award you recently won, we want you around because of who you are. ”
“If we’ve learned anything in the last few years, it’s that life is unpredictable. I mean, look at the last week—Tinsley could have died. No, no, if we find good people, we claim them as ours.”
“And Ryan?” I say, not exactly sure what I’m asking the sisters.
Savannah reaches over and squeezes my knee. “Oh, he definitely is playing for keeps, girl.”
I hope so.