Chapter 25
VIVIENNE
Pain twists low in my abdomen, tugging me awake. My eyes open only to find my cheek resting on Auren’s chest, his heart beating a strong and steady rhythm beneath my ear.
Another cramp, this one stronger than the last, aches deep within. I shift slightly and the sensation worsens. Dread fills me as I feel the unmistakable warmth between my thighs.
Oh no. No, no, no.
Humiliation heats my face before I even lift my head. Gods, I don’t want him to see me like this. And I really don’t want to have this conversation, but I know the instant I move, it will only get worse.
Of all the moments, of all the places. Here, in the wilderness… in a tent.
I press my lips together, attempting to regain my composure, reminding myself that this is a natural thing.
I have endured this every month since I was twelve…
but never like this. Never without fresh linens prepared, the discreet help of a healer brewing teas and tonics to help with the pain, and never without my privacy.
Pain blooms across my abdomen and curls up my lower back as another cramp tightens and releases, then tightens harder. I close my eyes, trying to breathe through it. I need water and cloth. We have spare tunics, but I’m not sure we have enough to waste.
I glance up at Auren. He’s still asleep. His face is turned slightly toward me, his dark hair fallen loose across his brow. I clench my jaw. I need his help; I cannot handle this alone in the forest.
"Auren," I whisper, embarrassment tight in my throat.
His eyes snap open, and his entire body goes rigid as his nostrils flare. His gaze sweeps to mine, his expression full of panic. “Vivienne, I smell blood. Where are you hurt?"
“I—”
“Tell me,” he demands, frantically moving his hands over my body, searching for any signs of injury. “Where are you bleeding?”
“It’s my courses,” I whisper.
He goes still and then pulls me into his arms, pressing his nose to my hair as he breathes out a sigh of relief. “Thank the gods you’re alright,” he murmurs. “I thought you were hurt. You should have woken me sooner, me’lira.”
“I—” I hesitate, his concern catching me off guard. “It’s bloody and messy, and… I thought you might be disgusted,” I admit, wincing as warmth pools beneath me on the bedding.
“Never.” He cups my chin and tenderly brushes his thumb across my cheek. "I'm a warrior, Vivienne. Blood doesn’t bother me."
I’m stunned. Even my own father and brother never spoke openly with me about my monthly courses. My father would simply send for the healer to tend me when I was in such pain it was difficult to leave my chambers.
I shift slightly on the blankets, uncomfortable and desperate for a warm bath and a change of clothes. “I need to clean up, Auren.”
“Of course,” he replies as he reaches for his cloak, draping it around my shoulders. The heavy fabric is warm and comforting against my skin. “Can you stand?”
I nod, though the cramping has begun to worsen.
He rises first and offers his hand. When I take it, his grip is firm and steady.
We step outside into the pale gray of approaching dawn. The forest is quiet, mist hanging low among the trees. With his hand still in mine, he positions himself slightly ahead of me, scanning the woods for any signs of danger.
When we reach the edge of the riverbank, I study the water warily. "Are you certain there are no Kelpies here?” Now that I know such monsters exist, I’m hesitant to simply walk in. “Won't the blood attract them?"
He whistles, and Vaelen emerges from the shadows. "Dire wolves have highly attuned senses. Vaelen would sense such a predator if one were nearby," Auren reassures me.
The wolf nudges me as if in agreement.
“I’ll remain here, but I’ll stand with my back to you to give you some privacy,” Auren says. “Alright?”
I nod, and he turns away from me. Hesitantly, I remove his cloak and step into the cool, clear stream, water swirling around my legs. Embarrassment is still hot beneath my skin, but the water feels lovely.
When I’m finished, he makes sure to avert his gaze as he wraps me carefully in a thick fur blanket, helping me dry off before he guides me back to our camp.
Without a word, he takes one of his tunics and begins to tear it into strips. “You can use these for the bleeding,” he murmurs.
My heart squeezes at the quiet practicality of his actions, his gaze focused entirely on his work. No one has ever taken care of me like this.
Auren stokes the fire, and the heat chases away some of the night chill as I curl into myself, discomfort blooming again as my cramps return with a vengeance. He kneels before me, his expression soft as he gently tucks a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. "I’ll make you some tea.”
When the tea is ready, he presses the cup into my hands. I sip slowly, warmth spreading through my body, easing some of the ache. He hands me a pair of his pants. They are far too large, so he tears them at the ankles to shorten them and then gives me one of his tunics and a belt.
After I’m finished changing, he instructs Vaelen to remain at my side before he turns back to me. “I’m going to the river to wash your clothing and the bedding. I’ll return shortly.”
Embarrassment scorches through me. “You—you don’t have to do that. I can—”
“I am your husband.” He cups my cheek as his blue eyes stare deep into mine. “Allow me to take care of you.”
My heart squeezes in my chest as I give him a slight nod.
While he’s gone, I curl into a ball beside the fire as the pain tugs sharply at my abdomen. Although the cramps have improved, they’re still agonizing.
Auren kneels beside when he returns. His touch is achingly tender as he brushes the hair back from my face. "I may be able to ease your pain with my magic, if you’ll allow me.”
I nod weakly, desperate for relief. His palm settles on my abdomen. Warmth radiates from his fingers, easing the sharpest edges of the pain.
“Is that better?”
“Yes,” I breathe out a small sigh as some of the ache subsides.
“When we reach my home, I’ll have the royal healer assess you… see what she can do about lessening the pain you experience with your courses. Perhaps she knows of an herb or some sort of potion that might help for next time.”
I frown. “The royal healer treats others besides the king and his family?”
“Yes. She is the most skilled in all the kingdom. The king gave her a place in the castle so she could be available to tend to any who come to her, including the families of those who serve the crown.”
“That’s very kind of him to share his personal healer,” I muse. Back home, the royal healer would tend only to my father, my brother, and me.
Another cramp knots my lower abdomen, and I grit my teeth against the pain. “How far must we go today?”
“That depends.” Auren eyes me in concern. “Do you think you can travel?"
It’s tempting to say no because all I want to do is curl up on the bedroll, drink tea, and try my best to sleep through the worst of the cramping.
That’s what I normally do at home. But as I gaze at the forest, I don’t think that’d be wise.
“Isn’t it safer for us to keep moving? Won’t there be…
creatures that might be attracted to the smell of blood? ” I shiver at the mere thought.
His blue eyes meet mine evenly. “If you need to rest, Vivienne, we can stay. I will protect you,” he adds solemnly. “Besides, we also have Vaelen.”
At the sound of his name, the wolf pads over to us and nuzzles my side. He lies down next to me, and I stroke my hand through his soft fur.
Auren drapes his cloak around me again. “That should mask the scent of your blood a bit as well.”
Despite his reassurances, I think I’d prefer to keep moving. “I’ll be fine, Auren.” When he opens his mouth as if to protest, I quickly add, “Truly.”
We travel slowly, making several stops along the way. We follow the path of the river, through the forest, so that we have easy access to water.
Auren cares for me at every step. His attention never wavers as he makes tea to soothe my cramps, stands watch as I cleanse in the river and change out the strips of cloth, offering soft words of reassurance as he splays his palm over my lower abdomen, using his magic to ease the heavy ache deep within.
He wraps me in his cloak, holding me close against him, enveloping me in his warmth and his masculine scent. I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever felt so cared for.
When evening comes, he makes camp. I’m exhausted and although my cramps have lessened, they’re still very uncomfortable.
As we settle in the tent for the night, Auren tucks the blanket around my shoulders, making sure I’m warm. Vaelen curls up in the corner, and Auren carefully lies down beside me on the bedroll.
Staring into the darkness, I think on all that has happened today. I’d expected my Dark Elf husband to react to my situation with either disgust or awkwardness, and yet he did neither of those things. Instead, he was patient, caring, and so achingly gentle.
“If you need anything,” he whispers in the darkness, “do not hesitate to wake me.”
My heart clenches at his words. Although we’ve only known each other a short while, I’ve never felt as close to anyone as I do to him.
In the quiet intimacy of our shared space, I whisper, "Thank you, Auren. I’m… sorry if I was a terrible inconvenience today.”
“You are not an inconvenience, Vivienne. And there is nothing shameful in allowing someone to care for you. You’re my wife,” he says, voice low and tender behind me. “I will always care for you… for as long as you’ll let me.”
I open my mouth to speak, but emotions lodge in my throat, and I cannot speak around them. When we first met, I treated him so terribly. And after we wed, I resented him. At first, anyway.
But now? I sigh heavily. Now, I worry that I’m falling for this man—this Dark Elf soldier. If I’m being honest with myself, I fear that I’m already halfway in love with him. And this feeling is as unexpected as it is troubling.