9. Chapter 9
Alpha Talks
Waking up Monday morning is hard. The king sized bed in my room is extremely comfortable and the big down comforter is so soft I don’t want to leave.
The Alphas went overboard with my room. Everything is a pretty soft purple with black accents.
All the furniture is black wood while all the linens are soft purple.
The walk-in closet is full of new clothes that Mandy picked out, barely leaving enough room for the ones I bought with Abby the other day.
I still haven’t explored what's behind the door in the back of my closet, but I don’t have time now.
I have an hour before I have to be in my first class and I’m still laying in bed.
Groaning, I toss the blankets off of me and jump up to get in the shower. I want to make a good impression today. Sure, there aren’t many people in the Early Start Program, but this will be the first time I interact with other wolves my age.
I’m so nervous my stomach is turning in circles and not even the smell of food can calm me down. Hell, thinking about eating is making me nauseous. Will they judge me for being a Chosen? How will they react when they find out I don’t have a wolf yet?
According to Mandy, I shouldn’t smell like a wolf yet because mine hasn’t manifested.
Going by that information, I can assume that everyone I’ve met till now and everyone I’ll meet today will all know that I’m a new Chosen.
Where I’m from, being the new girl is bad enough, now I’m the new girl that’s different.
I try my hardest to push the negative thoughts out of my head as I curl my hair and put on makeup.
I’m still struggling to actually find a positive thought as I go to get dressed, so I decide to dress how I want to feel.
I read the school handbook last night and I’m surprised by the lack of restrictive rules when it comes to the dress code.
Hell, the only rule for the dress code is that the students must have bottoms, tops, and shoes unless they are in the designated shifting rooms. There is a clause in there that says swimwear and undergarment do not count as bottoms or tops, but that's it. Nothing saying how long the clothes have to be or how loose. They don’t even care if the guys leave their shirts open, as long as they have them on.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a school for shifters, that is literally on a beach, is so lax.
I’m just used to thinking like a human still and humans care about ‘appropriate’ behavior way too much.
Looking back, I can see that judgment and criticism is bred and nurtured in human society.
From the time a human is born all the way to when they are put in the ground, they are taught to think and behave a certain way and anyone who doesn’t is instantly wrong.
They are shamed and ostracized for being different and thinking for themselves.
The wolves, though, are the exact opposite. Sure, they have Alphas and every manifestation has their place in this life, but everyone is encouraged to be themselves. Nobody holds back what they are thinking or stops themselves from trying for what they want.
I really hope that the wolves at the university proves everything I’ve seen so far. I hope that they accept me for me and understand that I had no control over what happened to me. I’m just trying to make the most of the cards fate dealt me.
So, in the spirit of being more free, I chose to wear a soft, off the shoulder crop top that’s white with big sunflowers all over it with a pair of white denim shorts and sunflower yellow flats.
The shorts are way shorter than what I’d wear to school in the human world, but I love the way they cup my curves and make my ass look perky.
The shirt stops just under my breast, but the accordion waist stops it from riding up and exposing my boobs to everyone at the school.
My hair is falling in pretty beach waves down to my hips and my makeup is simple, just mascara, eyeliner, and clear gloss.
My freckles are standing bold across my nose and cheeks.
Looking in the mirror, I feel cute and courageous.
I feel like I could take on the whole world with a soft smile and fluttering eyelashes.
The black bookbag purse Abby helped me pick out goes amazing with the outfit and it holds my phone, wallet, a notebook, and pens for class.
So one more glance in the mirror has me leaving the room and headed to the kitchen.
I have twenty minutes before class starts, and the school is a ten minute walk from the house, so I plan to grab a banana for breakfast and tell the Lycans goodbye then leave.
I want to be early to class so I have time to get lost a little.
When I walk into the kitchen, I’m shocked to see everyone there already.
Mandy is sitting on the island counter, sipping coffee and looking a bit grumpy.
August is beside her making a sandwich, an open lunch bag is beside him and it looks like there is some stuff already in it.
Charles is making breakfast sandwiches and James is putting stuff in a blender.
I see bananas, strawberries, cream, and now he is putting in some kind of powder.
Even though I’m sure they all heard me coming, I clear my throat to announce my presence. “Good morning guys. I didn’t expect you all to be up so early.”
“Morning, Becca!” Mandy sounds like her usual peppy self, even though she still looks grumpy. “It’s your first day at a shifter school. Of course we are going to be up to see you off. Charles also gets up early to go to the office, so he volunteered to drive you to Howl University.”
“Oh, well, he doesn’t have to. I don’t mind walking.” My cheeks flush.
My parents never took me anywhere. The town outside of the Reservation isn’t that big. So walking never bothered me, but for some reason, I feel a rush of emotion at the thought of these wolves getting up to see me off and the Alpha of the community volunteering to drive me to school.
I’m an adult, almost eighteen and I’m as giddy as a child at the thought of these people showing their affection in such simple ways.
Sometimes my reactions to the things they do make me wonder why my parents were never as nice.
I’m not a bad person, I wasn’t a bad daughter or friend, yet seeing how I’m treated here makes me wonder if the people around me were bad parents and friends.
I will never say that I was abused or neglected, but maybe I wasn’t given the same effort that I expended on others.
Now that someone, multiple someones, are expending that energy, I don’t know how to feel about it.
“Nonsense, Little Wolf. I’m headed that way so it's no trouble to drop you off. Plus,” Charles looks over his shoulder and smirks. “Momma Wolf over there will worry sick if we let you walk. Save us all the heartache and just get in the car.”
The guys all laugh as Mandy scoffs. She grabs a cherry tomato from August’s hand and throws it at Charles.
It hits him square in the head and me, August, and James all burst out laughing.
Charles growls and narrows his eyes at Mandy who sticks her tongue out at him before sipping more of her coffee.
Charles smiles indulgently at the silly woman and that look alone has my heart groaning in envy.
I don’t want Charles, that thought alone is gross, but I want someone to look at me like that.
I want to be adored and cherished. I want to be loved the way these men love Mandy.
Apparently, all Omegas are treated like this by their Alphas.
Abby said it’s impossible for me to be an Omega, but if I could, I would.
I circle the counter and sit by Mandy, thinking about all the manifestations and what I know about them.
Abby says I’ll be a Beta because I’m Chosen.
There isn’t anything wrong with being a Beta, the majority of wolves are Betas.
I will be an amazing Beta, I’ll work hard and find a nice Beta man to love me and have amazing Beta children.
My heart though, my heart longs to be more than a Beta.
I want to take care of the pack, to be the reason that someone has a good day.
In my heart, I want to be an Omega. I won’t say that outloud though.
I won’t even think about it anymore because thinking about something that can never be will only make you go insane.
So, I’ll talk to the Betas at school and make friends.
I’ll flirt with a cute boy then come home and talk to Abby and Mandy about it.
I’ll the best fucking Beta this pack has ever seen.
“Little Wolf, you need to eat then you guys should get going.” August is standing in front of me, holding a plate with some fresh fruit and a breakfast sandwich.
James is beside him holding a smoothie out to me.
Blinking away the tears that want to fall, I smile and take them both with shaky hands.
“Are you okay, Becca? You aren’t sick or something are you? ”
August’s hand goes to my forehead while James watches me like a hawk.
Charles’s head pops up between their shoulders, his brows pinching with concern.
Mandy rubs a hand between my shoulder and takes the plate from my hand, sitting it on the counter beside her.
James quickly follows suit, taking my smoothie and putting it next to my plate while August moves his hand from my forehead.
He moves both hands to my neck, feeling each side.
I’m assuming he is feeling for any swelling, but he quickly moves on, examining me like he is giving me a check up.
“I’m fine, really. Just nervous about my first day of school.
” I gently push August’s chest, getting him to back up so I can hop off the counter.
I hug Mandy, then James, and finish with August before wrapping the sandwich in a napkin.
“We should go so I’m not late and Charles can get to the office.
Thank you guys so much for breakfast. I’ll see you when I get home. ”
I start to walk down the hall to the garage.
Mandy gave me a tour of the house, even pointed out CJ and his pack mates' rooms, yesterday. I pause at the door, waiting for Charles to tell everyone goodbye. I’m not sure what car we are taking, so I just stand there looking at all the vehicles in the garage.
My favorite is Mandy’s purple Volkswagen bug, though, the sleek black Mustang GTO is a close second.
When Charles walks in, I’m walking between the two cars, brushing my fingertips over the shiny paint.
He chuckles softly and my cheeks flare red again.
His eyes are dancing with amusement and curiosity when he clicks the fob in his hand and the Mustang’s headlights flash and the locks disengage.
Climbing into the passenger seat, I squirm on the leather, a happy hum bubbling from my chest when he starts the car and backs out.
“You know, Little Wolf, you can tell us if you’re upset. We won’t send you back to Abby, no matter what. We enjoy having you around the house.”
I take in his words and realize that for the last two days I've been walking on eggshells and trying to hide the volley of emotions that keep blooming in my chest. I don’t want to burden them or bother anyone, so I keep it all to myself and tell them what I think they want to hear.
My parents hated when I would complain or even try to explain my day to them, so I got used to keeping it all inside and releasing my emotions into my art.
I guess I was falling back into old habits.
I don’t want to do that though. I want to be open and honest in this new life, so I’ll talk to Charles, I’ll tell him about what is bothering me and maybe he can help sort some of it out in my mind.