Chapter 45
CHAPTER 45
T hat Friday at the beach, double-checking Fern’s instructions, I marked off each picture as I photographed it. Close-up of water lapping at the pier. Tick. Seagull in mid-flight against cloudless blue sky. Tick. Seagull perched on a white post in foreground, ocean in the background. Tick. This was more like it. I had a camera and was in my element. This was what I loved. Taking photos of living, breathing things. Things that showed expression and blew in the breeze, not pumpkins, ceramic dishes and napkins. (Actually, napkins do blow in the breeze, so perhaps not the best example.)
I was engrossed in taking photos of couples strolling along the beach and kids squealing in the park when I noticed Mum and Dad walking toward me.
I put down my camera. ‘Any success finding a venue?’
From the look on Mum’s face, I knew the answer.
She shook her head. ‘We’ve made dozens of calls, checked online. Nothing.’
Dad wrapped his arms around her. ‘We can have the wedding at my apartment, Pip. ’
‘That’s not going to work,’ she replied. ‘We’ll do it at mine, but if we can’t have a view, I was hoping at least for a garden wedding.’
‘Wherever it’s held, it will be perfect,’ I said. ‘No one will mind, as long as you’re both happy. Lexi and Angus are so excited. Not many kids get to be at their own grandparents’ wedding.’
‘We’ll sort out something. I’ve still got a few calls to make.’ Dad moved away slightly and punched numbers into his mobile.
‘What’s next?’ I said to Mum. ‘Invitations?’
She grimaced. ‘Until we decide on a venue, they’re on hold.’
I nodded. ‘True. But as you said, you’ve asked everyone verbally, so they’ve saved the date.’
‘The only interstate guests besides Matthew’s parents, are Aunt Lucy and Nick.’
Auntie Lucy being Mum’s older sister. Obviously, my favourite aunt. And Nick, my favourite uncle.
‘There’s no way they’ll miss this, free drinks and all.’ Mum linked her arm through mine. ‘How are you doing, Katie?’
‘Busy. Stressed.’
‘I’m not surprised, love. Working at the magazine can’t be helping your state of mind.’
‘What do you mean, my state of mind ?’ I asked, unlinking my arm and turning towards her. ‘I’m fine.’
As if I could fool Mum. Wasn’t it only a few days ago I’d thought I was having a breakdown? I couldn’t keep up with my state of mind. In the past twenty-four hours alone, my emotional well-being had run the gamut of feelings from desolate to euphoric. Perhaps euphoric was too strong a word. It had run the gamut of emotions from desolate to hopeful.
‘I think you’d feel finer if you weren’t there, especially around that man .’ Mum said that man as if… well… as if she knew things she shouldn’t know .
Dad touched Mum’s shoulder and shook his head. ‘We’re out of options as far as restaurants go.’
‘We’ll organise something,’ I said brightly. ‘And then you’ll be married again.’
‘Forever this time,’ Dad said, hugging Mum.
She swooned. ‘Yes, forever.’
‘Who’s up for fish and chips?’ Dad asked.
Not long after, the three of us sat on the beach drinking ginger beer and eating battered fish and potato scallops.
‘What do you want to do with yourself, Katie, after your stint at the magazine?’ Dad asked. ‘I’ve seen all your albums at Mum’s house and the portraits on the walls. You’re very talented.’
‘Thanks. I’m putting a collection together of Robyn’s pregnancy photos to give to her when she has the baby.’
‘Wonderful – but I’m sure there’s a lot more you can do, like setting up your own studio.’ Dad paused. ‘It’s a crime to waste your gift, Katie.’
‘Speaking of crimes, a woman I was at college with has published a book of photos, and she included one of mine.’
Mum popped a chip into her mouth. ‘Well done to you.’
‘No, I mean she stole it from me and is claiming it’s her photo.’
‘That’s outrageous! What are you going to do?’ Dad asked.
‘Seek legal advice and contact the publishers.’
‘What can we do to help?’ Dad asked. ‘She can’t get away with that nonsense.’
I almost smiled. ‘No, you’re right. She can’t get away with that nonsense. As for me, I’m determined to take photographs professionally, but I couldn’t handle the magazine industry full time. Been there, done that. I’m too old?—’
‘Pardon?’ Mum and Dad said together.
‘I’m not cut out for corporate life, office politics. It’s all about following other people’s directions, their rules, their way of doing things.’ I chewed on some fish. ‘Speaking of corporate, Matthew’s company has offered him the opportunity to live in Auckland for a couple of years.’
Mum gulped. ‘I’ll miss you.’
‘Thank you, but I’m not moving. I don’t think Matthew is either. I think he was after a reaction from me.’ And he certainly got it.
‘Do you want him to go?’ Dad asked.
‘I guess if it advances his career. He could always commute. Lots of people do.’
‘Forget the business side of things for a moment,’ Dad said, ‘do you really want Matthew to live in Auckland for the foreseeable future?’
Mum gathered up scraps and walked to nearby bins. Several seagulls trailed behind.
‘Because I’ve lived through it,’ Dad went on. ‘I know first hand what it’s like when a family splits. It’s not good. There are no winners.’
Had I heard him correctly? He was hardly able to offer me advice, especially when it came to my family responsibilities.
‘Are you forgetting I lived through it, too?’ I tried to remain calm. ‘Look, I’m fine with the marriage thing – though why you must do it so quickly is beyond me. But that’s between the two of you. You’re both adults. I’ll kill you if you break Mum’s heart but I’m willing to trust you again because she does. But don’t ever preach to me about family life and family values. They certainly didn’t mean a lot to you when you ran off and married?—’
‘Katie,’ Mum yelled. ‘Enough! You have no idea what you’re talking about. You of all people should know that some things in life are more complicated than they appear.’
‘I should have tried harder to be a part of your life and my grandchildren’s lives,’ Dad said. ‘I’ll always regret I wasn’t there for you, but if you give me a chance now, I’ll do my best to make amends.’
‘Haven’t you ever done something foolish?’ Mum said, knowing full well I had, many times over. ‘Something selfish? That you regret?’
‘I don’t want to interfere in your home life,’ Dad continued. ‘And I have no right to. I’m only saying decisions made in haste sometimes backfire. Things don’t always work out for the best.’
We sat in silence for several minutes.
Dad was the one who spoke first. When I was little, he was always the one to initiate a peace plan, especially as Robbie, Mum and I preferred to sulk in separate corners of the house.
‘This reminds me of the time you sang in the school concert. You must have been nine, maybe ten. After the concert, we drove to the coast as a treat, and we all sat in silence looking out at the waves. Do you remember why?’
I thought for a moment. ‘I didn’t think you were at that concert.’
‘Your dad was always there, Kate,’ Mum said. ‘At every concert, every award night, and every parent-teacher meeting.’
Mum was certainly remembering our family life through rose-tinted glasses.
As for me, I couldn’t recall. ‘Sorry, I don’t remember.’
‘Your hair had been curled in ringlets specially,’ Dad said. ‘You always wanted curly hair’ – maybe that’s why I got that horrid spiral perm – ‘and I said you were our own little Shirley Temple up there on stage. Well, you didn’t like it. I’m not a baby , you said. I’m not Shirley Temple. Then Robyn and Mum started singing, I’m Shirley Temple and I’ve got curly hair …’
‘You’re right. I cried and you asked them to stop singing. Said it was no way to treat a star like me. You stood up for me.’ I hadn’t thought about that concert in years, yet now I was reminded, I clearly remembered the singing, the sand, and the tears. And it was Dad who’d looked after me.
‘Another time when the four of us were at the beach’ – Dad poured sand from one hand to the other – ‘you were about four, and learning to swim. The waves were crashing around, the wind was blowing. But you were determined. Determined to dive into the water just like your dad. I can do it, Daddy, I can do it. Let me swim. I’ll show you , you said. And you flung yourself into the water and by gosh, you swam, darling. Your head dipped under a wave and just as quickly it bobbed right back up again. Mum almost had a heart attack, but I knew you could do it. Determination and faith, Katie, you’ve always had it. I wish I had that moment on tape. I wish we could always live in that moment. But sadly, time waits for no man. Or woman.’
I nodded. ‘Hence why I love taking photos, capturing a moment in time – that’s what Nanna used to say.’
‘Ah, Nanna.’ Dad stared out to sea. ‘My dear old mum. Bless her soul. Nanna loved you so much, Katie.’
‘I know.’ I sniffed, fighting back tears.
‘You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetheart.’ He put his arm around me. ‘And you have to live it with the same determination and spirit you had in your youth. Things aren’t always going to go your way, in fact, they hardly ever do – but you have to keep trying.’
As I sat and listened to him, I realised things in Dad’s life probably hadn’t worked out the way he wanted them to either.
‘Never give up your dream,’ Dad continued. ‘I never gave up hope that one day your mum and I would be together again. We were meant to be.’
I longed to love him again. To feel the closeness we’d had when I was a child, to recapture all the time we’d lost because of what he did, how he’d hurt Mum and almost destroyed her spirit and will to live .
‘Why did you do it, Dad?’ Why did you cheat on Mum and ruin it all? Destroy our happy life?’
He didn’t answer.
I waved goodbye to them and climbed into my car, watching as Dad walked Mum to the passenger side of his car and opened the door for her, both with smiles so wide their happiness was impossible to disguise.
Mum had said that when she saw Dad weeks ago, it was as if time had stood still. The last twenty-five years simply vanished and now they were starting afresh. She knew at the art gallery she wanted to be with Dad forever and realised she had to take a chance and find the courage to step up and tell Dad she still loved him, even though he’d left her for someone else all those years ago.
Katie, I keep going over all the reasons why Bob and I married in the first place , she’d said. Mum was willing to risk being hurt all over again for the sake of having the love of her life back in her arms once again.
And it seemed to have paid off. So far.
On the drive home, I stopped at the two-dollar shop and bought several celebratory pet sweaters that were decidedly more than two dollars apiece. Then Lexi and Angus helped me dress Rupert, Cleo and Bugs ahead of Monday’s pet montage. Rupert loved it, Bugs was indifferent or maybe confused, and Cleopatra was furious. No matter how I tried to attach it, she refused the red angel headband. The other two were far more compliant.
Using the edible Christmas pet treats Dana had couriered to the house that afternoon, naturally coloured with hard yogurt, and beautifully decorated with dog- and cat-friendly green, red, and white icing, I managed to photograph the three animals perched in the garden, surrounded by red flowers and greenery. Tick. Then I found more photos of animals dressed in Christmas garments to complete my medley of ten pictures. Done!!
I spent a busy evening answering emails, returning phone calls and catching up on the week’s news. I didn’t learn a lot apart from the fact that new research out of London claimed women were angrier in the home than men. Who’d have thought? The article went on to say women were more angry because they struggled to combine paid work with running a household. I could have told them that for free! At least now I had a valid scientific reason for my anger.