Chapter 7 #3
Is that how she would be received by her birth mother? With open arms? If it was Carol, it seemed like a fair bet. Maybe that’s why she was beginning to hope it was true.
But what if it wasn’t Carol? Would her birth mother be married? Would she have other children now? And how would they react to Lila’s appearance in their lives?
Even worse, what if there was no family? No mother to find. What if she was gone now and Lila had waited too long?
Her mind swirling and eyes stinging with tears, Lila suddenly couldn’t sit still any longer. “I should probably get some sleep,” she said as she stood.
“Good night, Lila,” Brady said, his voice gentle and low. “For what it’s worth, I think you came to the right place this year.”
She could only nod in reply as she turned so he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to spill over. As she climbed the stairs to her room, her mind churned with all the unanswered questions. The biggest one of all: Was she really ready to discover all the truths?
Back in her room, Lila sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out her phone, scrolling to Jenna’s number. Her finger hovered over her friend’s name. Jenna would be busy with family in town. She pressed call before she could second-guess herself anymore. She had to talk to someone.
“Please tell me you’re not hiding in your room eating room service,” Jenna teased as she answered.
“I’m not hiding in my room eating room service,” Lila said, settling back against her pillows. Just hearing Jenna’s voice calmed her nerves. “Though I am kind of hungry, because I was too distracted at dinner to eat.”
“Distracted by what? And please tell me it involves some handsome lumberjack you met in the woods.”
“That sounds more like the beginning of a slasher film than a love story,” Lila joked as her mood lightened. “I’m not out here wandering the woods alone hoping to run into some random man.”
“Shame,” Jenna said. “That whole rugged, outdoorsman thing is really hot. Trust me.” Jenna’s husband was a firefighter who spent his weekends hiking, kayaking, or otherwise communing with nature. And she was right; he was hot. You know, as much as your best friend’s husband could be.
“Well . . .” Lila teased as she pictured Brady’s muscles stretching the fabric of his flannel shirt while he was chopping down the Christmas tree, “there is actually a rugged, outdoorsy kind of guy right here at the inn.” At the moment, she’d rather talk about Brady than why she’d really called.
“Spill,” Jenna demanded. “I want to hear all about him.”
Lila told her about how she’d clashed with Brady at first as she made suggestions about the inn but how he’d opened up that evening about his parents.
“Sounds like you two have a lot in common, from your work to your family situation.”
“He’s surprisingly easy to talk to,” she admitted. “At least he is now that he’s decided I’m not trying to ruin his inn.”
“Uh huh. And I bet he looks pretty good in those flannel shirts and hiking boots too, huh?”
Lila felt heat rise to her cheeks, glad Jenna couldn’t see her blushing through the phone. “I mean, objectively, he’s not unattractive . . .” Lila hedged.
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“Jenna! I’m here to look for clues about my birth mother, not go on dates with the manager of the inn.” Although now that she thought about it, he hadn’t mentioned anyone, and surely he would have some holiday obligations with her if he had one.
“Who says you can’t do both? Come on, when’s the last time you had a crush on a guy? This is good for you!”
“I don’t have a crush. I’m just . . . intrigued by him.” Lila took a deep breath. “But that’s not why I called. I need a pep talk.”
Jenna’s voice shifted, sensing the seriousness in Lila’s tone. “Okay, spill. What’s going on?”
She told Jenna about Cynthia’s discovery that the quilt had been delivered to Pine Ridge Inn and about her growing suspicion that Carol might be her birth mother. Jenna listened without interrupting, making occasional sounds of encouragement.
“So, what are you going to do?” Jenna asked when Lila finished.
“I don’t know. I can’t just walk up to her and ask if she gave birth to a baby on Christmas Day thirty-four years ago, can I?”
“Probably not the best opening line,” Jenna agreed. “But Lila, what if she is? What if you found her?”
“That’s what terrifies me. What if I did, and what if she doesn’t want anything to do with me? What if seeing me just brings up painful memories she’d rather forget?”
“Or what if she’s been hoping for this moment for thirty-four years?”
Lila pressed her free hand to her forehead.
“I don’t know how to handle this, Jen. I came here thinking I’d find some clues, then I’d go back and do an internet search and study the person online before I contacted them.
I don’t think I gave enough thought to her actually being here and what it would be like to actually approach someone and ask if she’s my birth mother. ”
Jenna was quiet for a moment, considering. “First of all, you don’t even know if Carol is your birth mother. Second, even if she is, that doesn’t mean anything terrible will happen. Maybe she’ll be thrilled to see you. Don’t get ahead of yourself, okay? Just take things one step at a time.”
“You’re right,” Lila said, sighing. “I’m probably overthinking this whole thing.”
“Overthinking is your specialty,” Jenna teased gently. “Why don’t you just get to know her better and maybe start dropping some hints and see if she picks up on them?”
It wasn’t a bad idea. She didn’t have to let on that she had any ideas about Carol being her mother. She could just subtly start sharing more about why she was in town and see if Carol picked up on it.
“Yeah, I could do that. Thanks, Jen. I just needed to talk it out with someone.”
“I’m proud of you for taking this step, Lila. For going there in the first place. Whatever happens, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks. I think I needed to hear that.”
They talked for a few more minutes about lighter things—Jenna’s mother-in-law nagging her, Lila’s description of the ornament-making afternoon, the ridiculous amount of glitter Kimberly had managed to get on everything within a three-foot radius.
“I should let you go,” Jenna said finally. “The monster-in-law is probably reorganizing my pantry she thinks I don’t keep organized enough. But remember, one step at a time, okay? And keep me posted on the Brady situation too. I expect a full report next time we talk!”
Lila laughed. “Aye, aye, Captain.”
“And remember, just try being in the moment.”
After she hung up, Lila felt marginally better about the situation. Jenna was right. She was getting ahead of herself. She didn’t even know for certain that Carol was her birth mother. All she had were coincidences and speculation.
Tomorrow, she would have to decide how to reveal to Carol why she’d really come to Pine Ridge. Tonight, she just had to figure out how to sleep while her world potentially shifted around her.
Outside her window, snow continued to fall on the quiet town. Somewhere in Pine Ridge was the answer to the question that had brought her here.