Chapter 7 Miranda
Chapter seven
Miranda
NOW
Isettled into Leo’s spare bedroom with a weird feeling in my gut.
So much had happened, but now that the initial frenzy of problem-solving had passed and I felt calmer, I could reflect on just how mind-bending the past forty-eight hours had been.
I’d gone to sleep the day before Thanksgiving expecting to wake up to a hangover. Instead, I’d woken up to a mess.
Less than two days later, I felt sane again.
Because of Leo.
It stung that my boss had essentially exiled me for a month over something that would likely blow over in a few days, but it helped to have someone to commiserate with.
When the grumpy server had pushed the oversized sombrero onto my head tonight, it was like he’d hit me with a bolt of clarity.
This initial crisis with Stone would pass.
The collective internet wasn’t known for its long-term memory.
The issue was whether Stone would still have a career once the gossip died down.
He was easy to dismiss, too new in the public eye to survive being a pariah—even if everyone forgot the specifics after a few days.
Audiences could be vicious that way. They wouldn’t remember exactly what he’d done.
He’d simply be canceled and forgotten except for the occasional trivia question about the influencer guy who cheated on Naomi Butler.
But I wouldn’t let the worst happen. A few more photo ops with the natural affection between Leo and me on full display, and Stone should be in the clear.
And with our urgent fire cooled to embers, I could focus on the nagging loose thread in the back of my mind, the one I’d been compartmentalizing like a champ since Halloween. The dystopic painting mocked me from its familiar place on the wall. I needed to confront my sombrero-inspired epiphany.
Leo.
My best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, and now, my pretend boyfriend.
After our fight, we couldn’t return to exactly what we had before. Where did we go from here?
Leo, not Stone, was the most pressing question mark in my future.
Was his ability to soothe my soul and make me feel safe a good thing? Or something I needed to learn to do for myself? For both our sakes.
I’d run to him, knowing he’d help me. It scared me how quickly I’d surrendered to the relief of letting him.
But maybe this should be the last time. Because after he’d invited me to stay with him for as long as I needed to, as he’d patted my thigh and offered me assurances that he’d help me see this thing through, I didn’t know where role-playing ended, and reality began. Everything felt real.
Reaching up, I touched the places on my forehead and cheek where he’d kissed me at the arcade.
My fingers drifted to my lips.
He’d always been clear that the connection between us was, in fact, real. But it could never be everything.
He could never give me everything.
Leo’s presence in my life had been an anchor for two years.
But it was time to reevaluate. This mess had brought us back together, and after the magical day we had, I was grateful for the chance to cleanse away the bitterness of our argument.
But it shouldn’t create a path to go back to what we were before those hurled words.
Back to wishing for something from Leo that he could never give me.
Brushing my fingers along my cheek again, I recalled the last time I’d been in this apartment, in August. I shut my eyes against the memory of what had happened in Leo’s bed.
A soft tapping at the door was followed by Leo poking his head into the room.
“Hey, Panda,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face.
My breath stuttered at the sight of his shirtless torso over the waistband of his pajama bottoms, his tall body silhouetted in the doorframe.
I eyed his chest hair, remembering running my fingers through it the night of Marley and James’s wedding.
“I got up to grab some water and heard you moving around… Can’t sleep? ”
Shaking my head, I sat up in bed and flipped the switch on the nightstand lamp. “Too wired after everything.”
“Same.” He folded his arms across his chest. “But you didn’t get much sleep last night either. You need to rest before you totally crash out.”
One side of my mouth tipped up. “Gonna offer me a Xanny or something?”
He laughed lightly. But instead of responding, he simply gestured to the bedroom door and beckoned me through it. “C’mon.”
I couldn’t fight it. And he was right. It would help me sleep. Even though I knew something between us needed to change, there was no reason to push that issue right this minute. For now, it had been a shitty couple of days, and I wanted this.
Wordlessly, I walked past him into his room. He stepped ahead of me to pull back the covers on the bed.
Slipping in, I rolled onto my side, facing away. He crawled in behind me and lined up our bodies. One of his arms draped over my waist, and he pulled me back against his bent legs. His other arm slipped beneath my neck until I used his biceps as a pillow.
I felt every place our bodies met. His rough chest hair against my T-shirt between my shoulder blades. The soft cotton of his pajamas on the backs of my knees. His warm breath on my neck. His soft cock nestled in the cradle of my ass.
“Sleep,” he murmured, pressing a blink of a kiss to my earlobe. “I’ve got you.”
“I know.”
20 MONTHS AGO - MARCH
The day after we went to Disneyland, I woke up refreshed and ready for whatever else Leo wanted to do. I was no stranger to a heavy walking day. But my houseguest, not so much.
He declared his feet were killing him, and a low-key beach day was in order.
“You know how the beaches are in Washington,” he explained, dragging a plain white T-shirt over his head as he sat on the couch. “Rocky. And the water is so cold. I just want to lie on the sand and have it be warm for a change.”
The California ocean would be cold in March, but the sun was out, and he’d at least be able to stick a foot in and feel the waves.
“Let’s go to Santa Monica. We can walk on the pier and the promenade and visit some of the touristy spots once you’re done being a lazy bum.”
I yelped in surprise as he dragged me onto his lap, proceeding to rub his knuckle into the crown of my head. “Don’t call me lazy. Not when you made me walk miles and miles yesterday just to get in a few extra rides on Big Thunder Mountain.”
I shoved away from him, laughing as I retreated to the other side of the couch. “Did you just give me a noogie?”
“Not my fault. You deserved one. Besides, it’s better than a wet willy.” He grinned.
We stayed at the beach for hours. I napped and played word games on my phone while Leo kept his nose in one of my old paperbacks.
Accustomed to our flirtations-that-weren’t, it didn't faze me when he ran his hands over my back putting on sunscreen, when he looked appreciatively at the fit of my one-piece while also appearing completely unmoved by it, and when he lay back against the towel and slung one arm around me while the other held the book above his face.
Sometimes I wished Leo wanted more, that he was at least a tiny bit open to the possibility of a romantic relationship between us.
I certainly wasn’t unmoved when he removed his shirt, clad in only a pair of medium-length navy blue board shorts.
Half the women on the beach turned his way when he dipped his whole body in the icy waves, returning to our towels with water dripping over his muscles.
He was a man in his prime. Yet he seemed completely unaware of the effect he had on people.
The effect he had on me.
Welp, life wasn’t always roses. So he wasn’t interested.
Big deal. I could more than live with being just friends.
Especially since Leo hadn’t talked about bringing wetsuits to the beach so we could surf.
He was fine with a day spent lounging and reading.
I’d needed that energy in my life for so long.
Maybe an amazing friendship was better than a love affair that could go to shit.
We ate dinner at a seafood restaurant near the pier. Leo ordered a tuna steak, and I ordered shrimp pasta, requesting extra plates to split our entrées.
For dessert, we shared a chocolate lava cake. As Leo held a fork to my mouth, encouraging me to take the last bite, an older woman walked over to our table.
“Hello. Aren’t you—” she began to ask me, until I peered up and she got a better look at my face. “Oh dear, my apologies.”
“Is everything okay?” Leo asked.
The woman spoke to him. “Yes. I’m so sorry. From the side, I thought your girlfriend was one of the young ladies who work in the salon where I get my hair done, so I came over to say hello. Apologies again for interrupting.”
“I’m not his—”
“No apologies needed,” Leo said, winking at her. “I suppose that means the ladies at the salon are very beautiful.”
The woman paused. “They certainly are.” She glanced my way before smiling. “Sorry again for the intrusion.”
Leo dipped his chin at her. “Have a nice night.”
As she walked away, I grinned. “She thought I was your girlfriend.”
“Of course she did.” He chuckled. “I was feeding you chocolate cake.”
“You told her I was beautiful.”
“You are.”
I blinked. “Sometimes I don’t understand you, Leo.”
“Hey, Panda?”
“Hmm?”
“Because you’re one of my favorite people on the planet, and also probably my best friend, I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what you mean. You’re trying to call out that there are times I do boyfriend-y things, but I’ve been clear that I’m not interested in a relationship.”
I snorted. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re incredibly subtle and indecipherable? Seriously, total brick wall.”
He barked a laugh. “I owe you an explanation. But can it wait until we get back to your place? I’d rather have this talk in private.”
“Yeah, Leo-Bear. I have a feeling it will be worth the suspense.”