Chapter 11 Miranda #2
I explained to Leo how I'd met Stone on the beach and that we’d been dating under the radar for a few months.
Because of what he’d seen when he showed up, I hadn’t needed to clarify that Stone and I were sleeping together.
But I did not clue him in to the fact that the sex was…
ahem…pretty mediocre. Decent, if I were being charitable.
Once he had the basics, Leo offered an acknowledging grunt and didn’t bring it up again. I knew he would, though. Just like when he told me about his asexuality. He had a process for working up to things before discussing them.
We’d spent his first day in Los Angeles touring the Science Center and Olivera Street, and the second day we went sideways of Disneyland to hit up California Adventure. The picture I grabbed of Leo having a discussion with Lightning McQueen in Cars Land was officially my new favorite.
Now, stuck behind the semis, Leo decided he’d stumbled upon the moment to speak his mind.
“Panda, I need to understand more about this Stone situation.”
I smiled, pulling my knee up onto the seat to rest my fist on it. “Only took you two days to get curious, huh? What more do you want to hear about?”
“I know you said that you guys agreed not to date publicly, since he’s a celebrity.
” Leo took his hands off the steering wheel long enough to curl his fingers into air quotes.
“I guess I’m just confirming that keeping things under wraps is really what you want.
” He moved his head to look at me. “You deserve better than being someone’s secret. ”
“I promise you I’m okay with it. I’m the one who insisted. Stone would have been public from the get-go, but he understands my reasoning. He’s a good guy. I think you’d like him if you got to know him better.”
Leo mumbled a noise that sounded a lot like “doubt it” under his breath.
I grinned. “That’s okay, Bear. I realize you don’t have much in common with a twenty-something bro. But it’s like I said, we’re not serious enough to justify the hassle of going public. Not at this stage. I have too much on my plate without adding being Stone Caseman’s girlfriend to the mix.”
“And if it gets more serious?”
I hummed thoughtfully. If Leo had asked me that a month ago, I would have assured him it wasn’t an issue.
I’d have said Stone and I got along great, but we were only having fun.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Every day, as I got to know the true Stone beneath his public facade, I liked him more.
In private, he was funny and articulate.
Nerdy even. Before he’d dropped out to pursue influencing full-time, he’d been in school for environmental science, and I admired his strong interest in conservation.
Still, I couldn’t see myself ever wanting to be in the public eye. Not the way he was. Most of the time, that obstacle felt insurmountable to having a deeper relationship.
“Honestly, Leo, I don’t know. We’re not in that place now, and I can’t predict the future.
The only thing I’m sure of is that, at this moment, going public with Stone is more than I want to deal with.
I’ve seen his DMs. You should see the amount of unsolicited boobs he gets sent—not to mention dick pics—and I don’t want to be subjected to any extra scrutiny by his crazy fans.
Not now that I’m finally past the worst of my grief.
Plus, I’ll be launching myself into the job market in less than a year. ”
“You’ve told him all this?”
“Some of it. I don’t talk about my mom, or about the future. He’s very much a live in the moment type of guy, so that’s what we’re doing. I think he likes our little cocoon when we’re together because he’s so busy with his career. He’s got a new movie with Naomi Butler coming up—”
“The child actress?”
“That’s the one. It’s an indie film called Panic in First Class. It’s mostly for Naomi to redefine herself. Stone is what you’d call ‘stunt casting,’ which he’s okay with. But he’s also nervous about getting it right. He knows this could catapult him into a real future in entertainment.”
Leo let out a hissed breath, the sound vibrating through the cab.
“It seems like you and Stone are in such different places,” he finally said.
“But I trust you. If you’re telling me this works, then I respect it.
But I want to be honest that the secrecy concerns me.
” He ran his thumb and forefinger over his chin.
“It could fall apart in a bad way, and I can’t help worrying. ”
“I know. And thank you. If this blows up, or I need someone to talk sense into me, you’ll be the first one I call.”
I reached for his hand, kissing his knuckles before pulling our twined fingers into my lap.
He kept his eyes on the road as I squeezed our palms together.
“We’re still going to be us, Bear. We’re still going to be…the way we are. That’s not going to change. Your friendship is important to me. And I made it clear to Stone that it’s a priority.”
“As long as you made it clear to him that you’re no one’s afterthought,” Leo said fiercely, disengaging his hand once we started moving again.
I rested my head against the window. Truly, I didn’t mind if I wasn’t Stone's priority all the time. When we were together, I enjoyed getting to know him. But when we weren’t, I didn’t pine for him or anything like that.
There was only one person whose thoughts and regard I truly cared about. Only one person I missed when he wasn’t around.
Did it matter if Stone floated in and out of my life like the wind when I had Leo to be my rock?