Chapter 14 Leo #4
Her face turned away. She scraped her hand through her hair, and I registered the rise and fall of her shoulders as she inhaled raggedly. The silence stretched, thick and uneasy in a way it rarely was between us. Finally, she gazed determinedly at the screen.
“You don’t need to worry. I get more from Stone than you know.” Her attempt at both gravitas and clever innuendo rang hollow.
My insides clenched. “You’re honestly okay with this?”
She nodded wordlessly. Unconvincingly.
“Well, then, as your friend, I think you should tell Stone how you’re feeling. At least be honest with him that you’re having mixed emotions. It might help him make better decisions.”
Her features wilted. She knew I’d never give her my full endorsement of this plan.
I could love her and be there for her, but I couldn’t lie and say I thought Stone treating her this way was acceptable.
“I already told you, Leo. Putting that on Stone isn’t an option. I gave my word.”
“Panda—”
“I can’t talk about this anymore. I hope you can support me. See you at Christmas.”
She hung up.
I didn’t see Miranda again until I showed up at Marley and James’s house on Christmas Day. Miranda had rented a car and driven to Coleman Creek from the airport since I’d had to stay in Tacoma for work until December 24.
My parents and I drove together and checked into the Hampton Inn near the highway. When we arrived, the hotel had boxes waiting for us. Marley insisted we show up on Christmas Day wearing footie pajamas.
Mom and Dad looked at this development with amusement, commenting that there was nothing they wouldn’t do for their “delightful future daughter-in-law.”
“At least yours are dignified,” I grumped, envious of their blue snowflake onesies. “I look demented.”
Heaving my massive frame into the gingerbread men-patterned zip-up bodysuit was a challenge, and my reward was having my parents pull out their phones to snap pics and laugh at me.
My dad called out my sour face. “Since when do you act like Scrooge before he met the ghosts?” he asked.
I shrugged. It was the best I could do.
When we arrived, I saw that Marley and James were wearing candy cane onesies. Maureen had recently fallen hard for James’s friend Will, and the two of them were in a holly leaf pattern.
“Hey,” came from the living room, and my spine went rigid. I hadn’t heard Miranda’s voice since she’d ended our call less than a week ago. “Cool,” she said. “Ours are the same.”
She also wore a gingerbread men onesie. “I think Marley wanted even pairs,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.
As she stepped next to me, I saw the pleading on her face. She wanted things to be good between us. It was rare for me to get close enough to people that I could get hurt. But that was exactly how I’d felt when she hung up on me.
“That’s right,” Marley said, unaware of the undercurrent. “There were only four patterns and you guys are good friends, right? Good friends can be a pair.”
“Of course!” Miranda said brightly. I grunted.
After Marley took at least a hundred pictures of the eight of us in our matching outfits, I excused myself to get some air. James found me slumped in a patio chair.
“You alright, man?” he asked, handing me a mug of hot chocolate.
“Mm-hmm. Just thinking.”
“Are you thinking or brooding?”
I choked out a laugh. “Brooding? Am I a poet wandering the gray mists of the moors?”
“More like one of the sulky teenagers in my classroom.”
My jaw ticked. “Not brooding.”
He sat down in the chair next to mine. “Seriously. It’s not your style to be so out of sorts.”
“Probably just the holidays getting to me.”
His face scrunched up. “That’s not like you either.”
I took a sip of hot chocolate. Too sweet for my taste. “Leave it, little brother. Thanks for checking in, but I’m fine.”
Holding his drink with both hands, James sat quietly for a few beats before speaking again. “Just because I moved to Coleman Creek doesn’t mean we can’t still talk.”
Had he always been this relentless? I blamed Marley for bolstering his confidence. “I don’t need to talk. If something is bothering me—and I’m not saying there is—I’ll get over it.”
“Does it have to do with Marley’s sister?”
“Maureen?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“Fine.” I scowled. “Miranda and I are having a difference of opinion at the moment. But don’t ask me for specifics because I can’t say.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
Although he didn’t press for more, most of the fight left me.
“You know she and I are really good friends?”
James chuckled wryly. “I’d say that’s a bit of an understatement. I’ve never seen you light up the way you do around Miranda.” There was a question in his words, but he didn’t ask it directly.
My asexuality was something I’d never discussed with my family.
Over the years, they’d gotten the memo not to question me about my love life or inquire whether I was dating anyone.
I’d turned the conversation away from the topic enough times for them to understand it wasn’t something I would willingly discuss.
I figured by now they might have guessed, but I had no way of knowing for sure.
“We’re friends,” I stated firmly. “Friends fight.”
“Alright,” he said, rising to his feet. “Then maybe count to ten and get your shit together. You know how much Christmas means to Marley. If you do anything to upset her, I’ll have to kill you.”
Smiling, I brought the mug to my lips again. “I hear you.”
I didn’t want to ruin Christmas for Marley. And I didn’t want to stay mad at Miranda. Like I said to James, we were friends.
The thing I hadn’t told him was that she and I were more than that. If we weren’t, I wouldn’t be so bothered right now.
A year ago, when I met Miranda, I noticed she was stunning and personable, but I hadn’t been attracted to her in a sexual or romantic way.
But over the past few months, there had been flashes when I’d felt something. A spark under my skin where we touched. Butterflies in my belly when she grinned. An occasional stray thought that was more than platonic. I’d chalked it up to proximity, but perhaps it was something else?
It had been over a decade since I’d broken up with Ilona, long enough for me to have given up on the idea of ever developing feelings for another woman.
A big part of my mood stemmed from the fact that I needed to process these confusing new signs.
My lingering anger toward Miranda evaporated. She didn’t know my head was spinning. And even though I still thought Stone was a dipshit who didn’t deserve her, I wasn’t in a place to make her an alternate offer. At least not yet. Maybe never, if it turned out Stone made her happy.
The only thing I could be sure of for now was that I needed her in my life.
Which meant I had to grit my teeth and hold her hand while Stone and Naomi made nice for the cameras.