CHAPTER 41
Harper
“Hello?” I say, surprised to get a FaceTime from my sister in the middle of the morning. “Lily? What’s up?”
“You gotta see this!” Steven says next to my sister.
“See what? Where are you?”
“In the street,” Maxine says.
My sister laughs, “Yup, gang’s all here.”
“In the middle of the morning? Who is at the shop?”
“We’ve got it covered, relax!” Steven says, “Plus, we all had to come for this show.”
I hear a bark that sounds a lot like Stuart and then finally my sister turns the camera around.
I…
“What am I looking at?”
“That is Aiden Vanderwell tryin’ to mow your lawn.”
Steven laughs, “But we don’t think he’s ever seen a lawn mower up close before.”
“You know I can hear you lot, right? I’m literally right here.”
Aiden
A hand goes to my chest involuntarily because I think my heart just stopped.
He looks gorgeous. And angry.
He stands from where he was squatting, I guess? Behind Dad’s mower? In my front yard? Oh, I forgot about the yard. I used to ask Braxton or one of the guys to mow it every couple weeks. Yikes, it looks terrible.
Aiden puts his hands on his hips and glares at Steven, “You don’t want to, oh, I don’t know, help?”
“And spoil all the fun for everyone?” Steven says.
“Well, I googled and it says you pull the cord but I’ve pulled the cord and nothing is happening!”
“Try again!” Someone says, Carl maybe.
Aiden turns and flips everyone off before pulling the cord. He’s frowning and sweaty and his undershirt is tight. His muscles bulge and shift as he pulls the cord over and over.
Everyone is laughing but I’m not. Ugh, he looks so good I could make out with the phone screen. I might be drooling.
“See I told you! It’s broken! Bloody old rusty mother f—oh,” Aiden spots the phone in my sister’s hand. He waves, suddenly looking sad and tired and adorably awkward.
“Do you want to talk to him?” My sister asks.
Yes, desperately.
“No.” I barely say.
“K,” she replies, “Do you want to keep watching the entertainment?”
“No, tell Carl to help him!” I say, meaning it.
“Fine,” I hear Carl grumble his way onto the screen as he crosses my yard.
I add quietly, “And maybe tell him I’m not coming back.”
My sister flips the phone around so I can see the concern across her face, “Ever?”
“Just not anytime soon and…not for him. I’m not coming back because he showed up back there.”
“Got it,” She nods. Then she laughs at something I can’t see. She explains, “Carl just got it all started and then walked away. I think Aiden thought he was tagging in.”
At the horribly loud motor sound, I tell my sister I have to go. My eyes sting as I tuck my phone away. The little coffee shop I’m sitting in feels foreign and empty now. Not that I want to go back to Juniper Falls. But wow, I miss everyone.
I miss him.
So, I’m all too happy to distract myself with my new routine.
I wake up after sleeping like the dead, usually 12 hours a night, like my body is catching up from the last decade.
I make myself some coffee and then drive to a trendy spot for breakfast. All day, I do my scouting.
It’s crazy how many bakeries are hiring and how many little cafes are for sale.
All along the east coast I’ve found job postings and lease availability.
Today it’s the same in Virginia Beach. But my day is interrupted again and again with texts.
Photos of the Aiden Vanderwell mowing my Dad’s lawn.
I can’t help but smile. I laugh at Steven taking a selfie with a thumbs up in front of the yard like one would in front of an exhibit at the zoo.
A group photo comes through with Aiden in the background.
Instead of looking at the ground, he’s looking into the camera.
I expect him to be scowling or smirking but he’s just staring at the camera with… longing?
It doesn’t make any sense.
He left!
What is he even doing!
I put my phone on DND and make my way through my planned stops, asking questions and taking notes. I like Virgina Beach. It’s not the one, but I do like it.
When I finally make it back to my Airbnb, I get my phone back out. More photos. Aiden tackling the back yard. Stuart galloping through the flowerbeds. Aiden pointing at Stuart like he’s saying sit while my dog—his dog—stares up looking guilty as ever. I delete them all.
Aiden…shirtless. Okay, not deleting this one.
I shake my head as I pull out some ingredients for dinner.
Again, seriously, what is he even doing?
I start to stew over it, getting angry. He left. He hasn’t texted me in a month. Hasn’t called. Nothing. Then he shows up and mows my dad’s yard? What. The. Hell!
I finally get out my phone.
Harper: I thought I told you never to come back.
My stomach flips as the three dots pop up right away.
Aiden: I never agreed to your terms.
“Ughhhhh!” I growl into the silence of the little apartment.
Harper: I am not coming back there.
Aiden: Good.
Good? Good? What does that mean? I decide to end this.
Harper: Thanks for taking care of that.
Aiden: You’re welcome.
Well, I might as well bother him a little bit.
Harper: You could’ve just had Braxton do it, like I normally do.
Aiden: Young wankers are all at summer camp, apparently.
I want to ask him a million questions. Why did you come back? Why are you taking care of things for me? You feel guilty? Are you back for good? Were you looking for me? How are you?
But I can’t send any of that.
Harper: How is Stuart?
Aiden: Miserable.
Harper: From traveling?
Aiden: From missing you.
Harper: I don’t believe that.
Aiden: Doesn’t make it less true.
Harper: He didn’t show me much affection when we were there together, hard to imagine he cares much now.
Aiden: Not everyone is good at affection.
Harper: Everyone could have tried harder.
Aiden: Everyone should have.
Tears are flowing down my face and the pixels are blurred in my shaking hand. But I can’t put the phone away.
Aiden: How do you like Virginia?
My breath catches in my throat. He knows where I am?
He knows where I am.
Instagram, probably. He’s been watching, paying attention. But never came to find me. Never even sent a single text, not once.
Harper: It’s nice.
Aiden: Nice enough to stay there?
Harper: Not sure.
Ask me to come home, Aiden. Ask to come here. Tell me you want to get on your stupid plane and fly here! Or fly me to you! Tell me anything.
Aiden: How was California?
Harper: Amazing
Harper: A little too far away, but amazing.
Aiden: And where to next?
Harper: Not sure
Harper: How long are you in Juniper Falls?
Aiden: Not sure
I growl at the air again and put my phone down. I want to send him the middle finger meme but he’ll just make a sex joke. What is the point of this? He misses me but not enough to ask me to come to him, not enough to show up where I am? He goes on.
Aiden: When you find the right place, what will you do there?
Harper: Not sure
Aiden: Not sure or not willing to tell me…
Aiden: Let’s make a deal for it.
Harper: Fine, I tell you what I’m going to do and you never contact me again.
Aiden: Those terms are unreasonable
Harper: [shrug emoji]
Aiden: Stuart would like to see you.
Harper: Stuart should’ve thought about that before he left
Aiden: He didn’t have much of a choice.
Aiden: But he’s missed you every day
Aiden: Always whining for you and your coffee
Aiden: He’s obsessed with checking your Instagram, it’s annoying, honestly.
Aiden: But he says you always look gorgeous
Aiden: And he’s so bloody proud of you
Harper: Sounds like he needs professional help
Aiden: He’s getting that too.
Harper: You’re going to therapy?!
Aiden: We were talking about the dog, Harper, keep up.
Harper: Why are you back in Juniper Falls, Aiden?
Aiden: I wanted to come, so I did.
Wow.
He’s a freaking meme: if he wanted to he would.
It’s right there, staring at me in black and white.
Stuart has a damn private jet and could’ve come to find me at any moment!
I put my phone on silent and clean up my dinner.
I read, I research the bakeries I found today, I look at recipes.
Eventually I decide to put my phone back on to check in with Lily.
But I didn’t need to turn it off. He never replied. Which makes my heart feel like it’s breaking all over again.
“Nip, not again,” I yell.
I’ve done all of this before and I’m not going through it again. Late night texts with vague messages. Wherever I go, whatever I do, it won’t be with him. He had his chance and he blew it.
I block Aiden’s number and go to bed.
But, for the first time in weeks, I can’t sleep.